Gits and Ice Cream
by xyellowconverse
Summary: When Sirius Black and his semi long-term girlfriend broke up I expected him to throw himself into his pranking and maybe dabble a little bit in some Firewhiskey. I didn't expect him to try to get a new girlfriend immediately to cover up his wounded pride and I definitely didn't expect that girlfriend to be me. *Featuring guest author CharlotteBlackwood as Remus Lupin's stalker*
1. Vanilla

My alarm clock began to blare, jerking me from my blissful sleep. It was July 3rd only barely into the start of the summer holidays and I was back into the grueling routine of waking up at seven in the morning. It wasn't by choice obviously. My uncle, Florean, recently came down with a case of Dragon Pox and as his oldest non-employed relative I was immediately given the task of keeping up his ice cream parlor. So much for my plans of having a laidback, lazy summer.

Working at the ice cream parlor was a definite challenge. I woke up at seven in the morning, got ready and had to be at the parlor at eight, opened the shop at ten, worked all day until closing at nine, closed up and maybe got home by half ten where I collapsed into bed and wanted to die. My social life disappeared and it was replaced with a grueling fourteen and a half hour work day six days a week. The pay? Pitiful but it was better than nothing.

If I'd refused to take the job then my mother, Florean's older sister, would have never forgiven me or shut up about it. She was the type to take things to the grave, squeezing the life out of any grudge until it was cracked, dead, dusty, old and didn't even resemble what it did in the start. She took the idea of beating a dead horse very seriously. I was only sixteen and I still had a long life head of me to brass my mum off with.

Both my parents worked five days a week at steadier jobs so they weren't much help with the parlor. My dad worked for the Department of International Magical Cooperation at the Ministry of Magic and my mum worked at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries as a Mediwitch. Both of them worked fewer hours than I did and they both earned more money. Their work was just a little more important than supplying Diagon Alley with ice cream. Working at the Ministry or St. Mungo's took more training than the ice cream parlor and they probably wouldn't employ a sixteen year old.

Florean had owned his own ice cream parlor since I was five and as a child I'd always thought that it'd be the best job in the world to work there. To a five year old, it seemed like the perfect job. I mean, free ice cream and getting to work with my Uncle Florean? I was sold. In reality, though, the job wasn't so great. When I was little I hadn't taken into consideration the impatient customers, whining children or the fact that it was completely possible to grow sick of ice cream.

The day started out a lot like vanilla ice cream, boring and typical. I went to work, opened without a problem and served hoards of whining children. It was looking like just an average, uneventful day in the world of ice cream.

Things began to get a bit more interesting at about half three when Sirius Black, a black I went to school with, and his girlfriend, Sammy Roberts, showed up. They were the golden couple at Hogwarts and gossip about their relationship kept the rumor mill alive and flourishing. If I'd paid any speck of attention to (or had any respect for) the hobby of gossip-mongering then I might have taken extra care to listen to their conversation amongst themselves or even to try and decipher what their body language even meant. I just didn't care. My job was to take their order, give them their ice cream, take their money and pretend like I wasn't bored to tears.

The only piece of trivial information I bothered to take note of was their orders. The flavor of ice cream that a person orders has a lot to say about the person. Sirius, for example, got a cone of Death by Chocolate, a chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips and shavings in it. Talk about an overload of chocolate. Most people who order that are intense and generally have an "all or nothing" approach to everything. Add in a little bit of recklessness and you've got an almost exact match for every customer who'd ever order Death by Chocolate ice cream while I was working at the shop. The customers were also usually foolhardy little boys, which might say the most about Sirius' personality.

Sammy's choice was a little more subtle. She chose a bowl of Butter Pecan ice cream drizzled in caramel sauce. People who get their ice cream in bowls tend to be more mature than people that get it in cones. I think part of that is because they realize the rushing that comes with ordering a cone. Ice cream cones melt, drip and leave sticky messes everywhere. Butter Pecan ice cream is also something that generally gets eaten by older people. Not quite geriatrics but often mothers and grandmothers who get dragged into the shop with their anxious children order it. It's milder than most of the more sugary options and it's not as overpowering. I liked to refer to it as the "responsible flavor." Butter Pecan and Death by Chocolate? That relationship could never last.

Sirius and Sammy sat outside the shop at an umbrella-covered table and I was glad that they went outside. Neither of them seemed to acknowledge my existence or that they knew what who I was. I mean, I was in the same school as them and the same year and Sirius and I were even in Gryffindor together but neither one of them seemed to know my name. I might not have been the most notable of all the Sixth Years but it wasn't like I hid away in a cupboard all the five years we went to school together. Maggie isn't that hard of a name to remember, is it? It's not rare and it's not hard to pronounce or anything. I took lesson with them, shared a Common Room with him, dealt with him and his stupid mates' practical jokes, listen to the gossip about the pair of them, stomached her caddy friends and they couldn't be arsed to remember my name? Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant.

I shouldn't have been so offended. These were two of the most popular people at Hogwarts. Sirius had pretty much been royalty since he stepped foot off the train and Sammy already had her own smaller following before they started dating. She was well-known for being beautiful or sweet or whatever but once someone starts dating Sirius Black, or anyone of their friends, they're instant celebrities. I didn't understand the fascination everyone had with Sirius and his mates. They seemed immature to me. I mean, who calls themselves "The Marauders"? Children, I guess. He couldn't have been that great, especially since he thought he was above learning the names of his classmates.

I tried not to be too bitter about their behavior and to just ignore them. I had better things to do than just glare at them through the shop window. I had other customers to attend to and a shop that needed my attention. There were too many dirty counters that needed to be wiped down for me to preoccupy myself with the likes of them.

Ignoring them was an easier feat than I thought it would be. A group of whining children with their flustered mums came in, demanding my attention. After serving three cones of Death by Chocolate, a cone of Mint Chocolate Chip, a chocolate cone with sprinkles and five bowls of Butter Pecan, the shop was silent and empty. The dinner time slow was coming early. It happened every night around five o'clock when children's mums demanded that they not ruin their appetite and have dinner before dessert. The slow business lasted until almost seven when the mums would finally agree to let their children have their ice cream. It was the worst part of the night because it was so incredibly boring and dull. The only entertainment then was organizing the spoons by color and I could only do that so many times.

I noticed the raised voices about a half an hour into the death that came with the slow business. I looked curiously out the window, looking for some sort of distraction to draw my attention away from my growing boredom. Sirius was on his feet, his face red with rage. Sammy was still sitting, evidently trying to remain calm as she told him whatever upsetting news she had to say. Usually I would have had to go out there and tell them to be quiet because they were scaring away customers. Now there weren't any customers to scare away and they were my only source of entertainment to keep me from dying of boredom.

He shook his head at whatever she was saying. He seemed to be in disagreement or denial with everything she was saying. Maybe she was pregnant? Doubtful. Maybe she was breaking up with him? Very possible. They'd been dating for nearly six months and the break up was overdue. Well, either they had to break up or get married because a six month relationship for sixteen year olds is like a common law marriage.

He dramatically stormed off, leaving Sammy to follow behind him. I shook my head at the quarreling couple. I diverted my attention back to my task of making a pyramid out of Styrofoam bowls without a second thought of the show I'd witnessed, completely blissfully unaware how I was going to get thrown into the middle of this relationship drama and how it was going to soon take over my life.

**A/N:**

**Hello everybody! I hope you liked the first chapter of my new fic. I know it was a bit of a short chapter but the next few chapters are going to quite a bit longer. I hope you liked it and that you're going to want to come back to continue reading as it gets updated.**

**This fanfiction is mostly written by me, Evan, but a few chapters are going to be written by my good friend, javalon14. She's going to write as Kara, Remus Lupin's stalker who's going to be introduced later. I'm very excited to get to work on yet another piece with her.**

**Please feel free to follow me on Twitter for all your fanfiction update needs converses_fics. I'm trying to get better about keeping it updated so that everyone can stay up to date with what to expect and as proof that I really am working to update my fics, even if it takes a horrendously long time sometimes.**

**Please review and keep coming back for more chapters.**

**Evan**


	2. Chocolate

Sirius reappeared a little sooner than I'd expected. He was back in the shop within twenty four hours, this time with his mates from school. I recognized all three of his friends as being the other members of the notorious Marauders. Of all the ice cream places in Diagon Alley to go to, why in the world did they have to come here? Granted, Florean's is only one of two ice cream spots in Diagon Alley and the most popular but still! Why would Sirius want to come back to the place where he broke up with his girlfriend? Well, I didn't necessarily know that they'd broken up. I'd assumed by the way that they were arguing the day before that they must have broken up. Maybe they just had a row.

I didn't like the Marauders when they together. Sometimes when they were apart, they could act like actual human beings. When they were together though... It was like an Arrogance Festival that you aren't invited to but you still have to suffer through. They're like... chocolate ice cream! Merlin, chocolate ice cream annoys the hell out of me. It's BAM in your face! It overwhelms your taste buds and there's no getting away from it. You just have to suffer through it.

I wasn't surprised by the other three Marauders' ice cream choices. Sirius stuck to his usual Death by Chocolate. Remus Lupin got Coffee ice cream in a bowl. Strong taste but relatively boring. Generally bought by someone with strong character but no real sense of adventure. Peter Pettigrew got Mint Chocolate Chip in a cone. That's a bit of an overwhelmingly clumsy flavor in my experience. Mostly bitter taste with a touch of sweetness. Often the people who get that are grudge holders and a bit tactless. James Potter got Banana flavored ice cream with nuts. Gross! Banana flavored anything generally makes me nauseous. People who get that flavor have a tendency to be a bit like monkeys. You know, childish tendencies with an aptitude for making themselves look like fools. Class clowns to say the least. I wouldn't eat any one of those flavors willingly.

The boys were sitting outside under an umbrella, probably plotting their big back to school prank. Last year they made Professor McGonagall blush by displaying her knickers in the Great Hall. They strung them up like they were some sort of decorations. They were in detention for almost the whole year for that. Given their habit of trying to make each year's prank bigger and better than before, I had a feeling that this year was going to be even more rambunctious.

The worst part about having the Marauders around surprisingly wasn't their insufferable arrogance. It was Kara Watts, Remus' obsessed fan girl. All of the Marauders had their own fan girls. Peter even had one or two trailing after him to try to leech onto his status as a Marauder. Kara, however, was different. The girl was obsessed. She'd been infatuated with poor Remus ever since she got sorted into Gryffindor. Remus was a year older than her and she latched onto him like Spello-tape.

She came into the shop wearing a handkerchief on her head, dark sunglasses and a trench coat. It was the beginning of July! The girl was practically going to catch fire in this heat! It wasn't like wearing a trench coat and dark sunglasses was inconspicuous or anything!

"What can I get you?" I questioned but I already knew the answer. She'd order a bowl of coffee-flavored ice cream, just like Remus had. If Remus ate it then she'd eat it too. If it was Remus' favorite then it was her favorite too.

"A scoop of Coffee in a bowl please," she told me, dropping her voice to an octave lower than normal.  
I nodded, heading to the freezer with my scoop. I took a Styrofoam bowl from the counter, filling it with the mocha colored ice cream. The smell of coffee hit my nostrils, causing me almost to drool with longing. I hated the coffee-flavored ice cream but real coffee? Yum.

"That'll be five sickles," I told her, handing her the bowl.

She thrusted the silver coins at me, beginning to stalk her prey with ice cream in hand. That woman was in serious need of help.

I wiped down the counter, finding that watching Kara make such an idiot out of herself was embarrassing to watch. It was right after the lunchtime rush and I was expecting a mate of mine from school to be stopping by any minute. Her name was Ann Marie and she was painfully shy. She wouldn't talk to anyone during our first day at Hogwarts. Everyone thought she was too conceited to talk but it was obvious in the first few days that her silence was caused by terror, not arrogance. She was just painfully shy. She wouldn't even come to meals in the Great Hall because she was afraid of the crowd. In fact I befriended her by bringing her food and taking my meals with her in the loo.

The Marauders left within a quarter of an hour with Kara trailing behind them. They left their table a mess, making me groan at the thought of having to clean up after them. What did I look like? A house-elf? We had a house-elf at my house but even we treated him better than this!

Speaking of house-elves, Lev, my younger brother, arrived at the shop with our house-elf, Walby, before I could clean up the Marauders' mess. Walby looked absolutely terrified. He always hated it when Lev made him come to Diagon Alley with him. Lev really didn't have any mates to spend time with so he tended to drag Walby along for company. Walby never complained but I knew that he'd rather be safe at home.

"Walby, Lev, what brings you here?" I questioned, stacking Styrofoam cups on the counter. "Is everything alright at home?"

"Oh yes, Miss Maggie!" Walby assured me with a squeak and an enthusiastic nod. "Mister Leverett wanted ice cream so Walby brought him."

"Where's Nina?" I inquired, searching for my little sister. She was only nine and much too young to be left home alone.

"Miss Nina?" Walby squeaked. His wide, electric green eyes began to search the shop. "Oh no! Oh no! Where did Miss Nina go? Oh stupid, stupid Walby!" He began to repeatedly slam his head against the counter, wailing with self-loathing.

"Walby!" I exclaimed, peeling the distraught house-elf from the counter. "What have I told you about punishing yourself? You don't serve the Black family anymore! I don't want you to hurt yourself everytime you make a mistake! Now please take Lev and go find Nina, alright? Please?"

Walby sniffled, wiping his nose with his pillowcase. He nodded, "I'm sorry, Miss Maggie. Come, Mister Leverett. We must find your sister."

He took Lev by the hand like a child, leaving the shop to try and locate my sister. Nina was always good at making herself disappear. Sometimes I think she liked the power in knowing that people couldn't find her. She'd shove herself into little nooks and crannies and always find new hideaways. She'd probably see Diagon Alley as being absolutely full of new places for her to hide.

I went about my business, knowing that once Walby got back with Lev and Nina that I wasn't bound to get much work at all done. The two of them were very demanding, especially when they were together. You could never give one more attention than the other or they'd see it as some sort of heinous offense.

I walked outside with my tub, clearing all the Styrofoam bowls with melted ice cream and dirty napkins away. When I reached the Marauders' table, something caught my eye. There was a crumpled piece of parchment that looks like someone had pulled out of their trouser pocket. There was cramped writing, looking like there had been several people writing on it.

My curiosity got the better of me and I smoothed the parchment. The words "Operation: Get Padfoot A New Girlfriend So He Doesn't Look Like A Pathetic Wanker" was written in bold letters at the top of the page. That title was crossed out and had the words "Operation: Prongs Is A Horrid Git Who Smells Like Shite" were written underneath it. That title was crossed out as well and in neater handwriting "Operation: Replace Sammy" was written underneath the two previous titles. Replace Sammy? Was this an "operation" to get Sirius Black a new girlfriend? Does that mean that he was "Padfoot"? And what was the whole "Get Padfoot A New Girlfriend So He Doesn't Look Like A Pathetic Wanker" thing about? Were they only looking for a new girlfriend for him because they wanted him to look like he'd moved on?

Underneath the title the following was written:

Criteria:

1. Padfoot can't ever have dated her before (going back for seconds just looks pathetic).

2. She has to be a Sixth Year (dating a Fifth Year also looks pathetic and Seventh Years are crazy with this whole N.E.W.T.s stuff).

3. She can't be a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin (dating a Puff is pathetic and dating a Slytherin goes against the Code).

4. She can't be Lily Evans (that also goes against the Code).

Criteria? What the hell did that mean? They had a specific set of rules dictating who they could or could not date? I've said it before and I'll say it again: Marauders are arrogant berks.

Underneath the list of criteria there was another list:

Potential Candidates:

1. Mary McDonald **- Out of the country for the summer. Definite no.**

2. Tessa Lawrence **- UGLY! It'd be pathetic to date her.**

3. Renee Rollins **- Sammy's best mate. Against the Code.**

4. Ann Marie Johnston **- Shy but pretty. Definite yes.**

I was shocked at the list. I knew that the Marauders were arrogant berks but I'd never expected that they'd stoop to this level. I was offended just as female student at Hogwarts. They might as well have ranked us like cattle at some livestock competition. All they seemed to care about girls was how being with them made them look. Pathetic.

What was even more pathetic was that I didn't know if I was more offended that Ann Marie met all their qualifications or that I wasn't on their list. I mean, I met all of their qualifications. I'd never dated Sirius before and I was a Sixth Year Gryffindor who wasn't Lily Evans. They didn't even bother to consider me as a potential candidate but they considered my best mate! Horrid berks! Well good riddance! I didn't want to have to deal with their insufferable arrogance anyways!


	3. Neapolitan

Today was like Neapolitan ice cream, it a was a definite range of flavor. There were the vanilla parts where I was bored out of my mind, chocolate parts where I was so annoyed I wanted to kill people, and strawberry parts where I was tickled pink with the entertainment.

The vanilla part came first. I was so bored that I thought I was going to die. This was the second day that Ann Marie was supposed to show up to relieve me of my boredom. Apparently the last time she meant to show up, she'd daydreaming about Bertram Aubrey and lost track of time. She does that a lot. She goes on and on about how perfect Bertram's hair is and gets lost in her own fantasies of running her fingers through it. Today, however, she promised to show up. She promised to forget about Bertram's head of hair and act like a supportive best mate and keep me from plunging a spoon into my eye out of need for entertainment.

I'd been waiting to tell her all about the Marauders' plot in person. I couldn't exactly explain all I needed to, in the correct amount of detail, in a letter. I wanted to make sure she understood what I was trying to tell her and if I wrote it in a letter then she could have been daydreaming while she read it and then she wouldn't understand that Sirius Black was coming for her. That made it sound like he was going to try to kill her. Really, he was just a suitor. No, "suitor" is not the right word. He was a bloke who's trying to make her date him so he doesn't look pathetic because his girlfriend dumped his arse but probably wasn't going to want to tell her that's the only reason he's interested in her. Also known as a "git".

Ann Marie arrived at the shop around half noon, wearing a dreamy smile. "Guess who I just saw outside Madam Malkins? Bertram. He's got a tan!" She sighed heavily, "He's so fit."

"Annie, don't drool on the ice cream," I told her, not bothering to react to her daydreaming about Bertram. This was a pretty common occurrence for her. It happened several times a day. I don't know why she'd fastened her hopes and dreams onto that Hufflepuff. He just seemed a little arrogant and not like her at all.

"So how's business?" she questioned.

I shrugged, "About as boring as usual. Got a few spoiled brats and the Marauders keep showing up. Actually that reminds me how you and I need to talk about a certain Marauder. Sirius Black is -"

Well apparently he's the devil because as soon as I said his name he magically appeared with his mates. Ann Marie let out a squeak of terror at the sudden appearance of the the Marauders. She made a beeline for the back storage room in horror. I tried to keep myself from snickering. Apparently she was having no problems repelling him, even if she didn't know the full reason why he wanted her.

"Are you sure we picked the right one?" Sirius sighed at Ann Marie's timidness. "Couldn't we just have waited until MacDonald came back?"

"No," the other Marauders answered in unison.

I diverted my eyes to the counter, not wanting them to know that I was listening. I pretend to clean my already sanitized counter, listening in for any new developments in their harebrained scheme.

"She's perfect," James assured him. "She just needs to warm up to you. She'll come around eventually."

"Yeah that's rich coming from the bloke who can't get the girl of his dreams to stop calling him an 'arrogant toerag'," Sirius retorted.

I had to duck under the counter to stop myself from giggling. Sirius was right. James had been chasing around Lily Evans for years and she still treated him like a bug stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Actually none of the Marauders had anything near "functional" love lives so I suppose none of them were really fit to give advice about romance.

"Oi, we'd like to order!" James banged on the top of the counter to get my attention.

This was about when the chocolate part of the day. Merlin, their arrogance was insufferable and horribly annoying. I tried to contain the last of my snickering and compose myself. I got to my feet, trying to hold in my giggles. "What can I get you?"

"A cone of Death by Chocolate, a bowl of Coffee, a cone of Mint Chocolate Chip and a cone of Heavenly Hash," he ordered.

Heavenly Hash? That was a new one. Apparently Mr. Potter liked changing things up, which either meant that he had more than one side to him or that he figured out Banana ice cream is disgusting.

"That'll be one Galleon, a Sickle, and sixteen Knuts," I told him, heading to the freezer with my scoop.

James set the coins on the counter before turning to talk to Sirius about the situation with Ann Marie. "All I'm saying is that sometimes you just need to have patience. She's a bit shy so you just need to let her warm up to you. She'll come around eventually."

I guffawed but covered it up as a cough. Ann Marie was not going to ever come around. Not unless Sirius miraculously morphed into Bertram and even then Ann Marie would probably be able to tell the difference. She might not have been as much of a stalker as Kara but that didn't mean that she wasn't very aware of all the little details and habits. The woman was obsessed.

Ann Marie took the opportunity to bolt out of the back storage room and hightail it out of the shop. "Damn it!" Sirius swore as she sped past him. He took off after her, chasing her down the street. He kind of reminded me of a dog chasing a cat more playfully and stubbornly than aggressively.

"Thanks!" James quickly told me, grabbing his and Sirius' cones out of my hands. He chased after Sirius and Ann Marie, probably to give him even worse advice about how to woo her.

"Sorry," Remus apologized sheepishly, taking his ice cream bowl off the counter before following after the others.

Peter gave me a terrified squeak, snatching his cone before sprinting out of the shop. Apparently he wasn't much better with the opposite sex than Ann Marie was.

I sunk to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter. If this wasn't like strawberry-flavored ice cream than I didn't know what was. I considered offering the Marauders free ice cream to keep them around for my entertainment. Maybe I could keep them in cages and make them entertain me like pet monkeys. I'd probably have to take away their ability of speech though to keep them from annoying me with their arrogant speech. Maybe I should just Transfigure them into monkeys so they wouldn't be able to talk. At least that option was worth looking into.


	4. Rocky Road

Today was a Rocky Road kind of day. You know, when you eat Rocky Road you're munching along and enjoying the chocolate ice cream and marshmallow swirl when all of a sudden BAM! You bite into a frozen piece of pecan and your mouth is confused and goes "What the fuck just happened?" That's the kind of day I was having.

The Marauders had been hanging around the shop for nearly a week and a half, hoping that Ann Marie would show up. She would have tried to avoid the shop like the plague but she was addicted to Caramel ice cream. She'd try to sneak into the shop and then hide into the storage room while she was waiting for me to bring her the ice cream. She'd stay in there until she finished it and then she'd take off, usually at a high speed. Sirius would chase her every time, even though he never could catch her. He was like a dog chasing cars.

Today was one of the days that Ann Marie's ice cream craving got the best of her. She tiptoed into the shop in an ingenious disguise. She looked like Kara in her stalking attire. She was wearing a blue trench coat, a burgundy scarf around her head and monstrous sunglasses. I would have initially thought it was Kara if I didn't recognize the coat as belonging to Ann Marie's father. Dressing up like Kara was a surefire way to get the Marauders to avoid her.

According to Ann Marie, Sirius had tried every wooing technique he could think of. He sent her amorous letters, flowers, and poetry (though Remus probably wrote it). He was pulling out all of the stops and Ann Marie was more terrified than flattered. I couldn't blame her for that. He never spoke to her and all of a sudden he was acting like she was the love of his life. I didn't blame her for being at least a little weary of his motives. Of course, I didn't tell her that his motivation was to make his ex-girlfriend think that he'd moved on. She didn't need to know for her to stay away from him and admittedly I didn't want to risk it ruining my entertainment. Maybe that makes me a horrible person but working alone in an ice cream shop seven days a week with screaming brats and arrogant berks made me a teeny, tiny bit sadistic.

Ann Marie slipped into the back room with any of the Marauders noticing. Ignoring Kara was practically one of their hobbies. I began to scoop the Caramel ice cream into a bowl for her.

"AH HA!" James exclaimed, pointing at me victoriously.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, my heart pounding in my chest, "What?" This was the first time I'd spoken to one of the Marauders about anything but their order cost since they started coming to the shop.

"She's here! Ann Marie is here!" James accused. "Where are you hiding her?"

I turned my attention to the ice cream I was scooping, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do! You give her Caramel ice cream every time she comes! You're hiding her! Where is she?" he demanded, getting mildly excited with himself for solving this supposed mystery.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," I waved him off. "I scoop Caramel ice cream for myself. It's now my break so if you'll excuse me." I took the bowl, ducking under the counter and heading towards the back room.

"If it's your break then who's covering for you?" Remus inquired, getting to his feet.

Shit. Why did he have to be so smart? "Who says I need someone to cover for me? I'll only be gone for a minute." While they were considering what to say next, I took the opportunity to slip in the back room.

Ann Marie was waiting for me, still in full Kara garb. "What took you so long?"

"They're onto us," I told her quickly as I thrusted the bowl into her hands. "You need to go now."

"But how?" she questioned. "They're out there looking for me."

I pointed to the window, "Take the back alley and hurry." I could hear the Marauders clamoring to the door. I held onto the doorknob, trying to keep the door pushed shut.

She climbed onto the table where I did inventory, setting the ice cream bowl on the window ledge.

"Hurry," I hissed at her as one of the Marauders tried to pull the door open.

She pulled herself up on the ledge, pushing the window open with a loud creak. She swung her legs over the ledge, dangling them on the outside of the building. "Thanks," she hissed back, taking her bowl of ice cream and dropping onto the alley way.

I held onto the door for another thirty seconds, wanting to give her enough time to get a head start on these morons. I finally let go, sending the clown at the other end of the doorknob flying to the floor. Much to my satisfaction, it was James.

"I told you I take quick breaks," I managed to tell him without a smirk. I ducked back under the counter while Sirius and Peter examined the back room for Ann Marie.

I whistled victoriously to myself as I cleaned my ice cream scoop. I'd just outsmarted four of the questionably cleverest wizards of my year. Well, three I suppose. Peter was definitely not that clever.

"Where is she?" Sirius demanded, coming empty handed from the back room. "Where did you hide her?"

"I haven't seen Ann Marie all day," I told him with an innocent shrug. "Now please stop poking around my storage. It's a health hazard."

"You're lying," he accused. "You know where she went and you'd better tell me!"

"Or?" I questioned dubiously. "You're not exactly very intimidating. Maybe if you haven't been making yourself look like an idiot for the past week then I might be a bit more compelled to listen to you." Perhaps I shouldn't have been provoking one of the Marauders but I'd wanted to rub what an idiot he's been all week.

"Moon, turn the sign to Closed," James commanded. "We need to have a little chat with the shopkeeper."

I tried not to look nervous. I didn't have any reason to be nervous. It's not like these blokes could even do magic outside of school. I couldn't either but at least we were on a level playing field on that account. I could also tell them that I'd tell Lily Evans if they tried to get too rough. James would never want the "love of his life" to know that he hit women.

"Why don't you come take a seat with us?" James suggested in a sickeningly sweet voice as Remus changed the store sign to "closed".

"I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a plastic spoon," I retorted.

"Sit!" he demanded, immediately losing that sweet tone.

"No!" I refused stubbornly.

"Prongs, do you really think that you're going to get anything this way?" Remus questioned dubiously. "Don't you think that you should try to be a little friendly?"

"No," he retorted.

"Prongs," Sirius told him warningly.

He sighed, "Fine. You try the whole sunshine and buttercups approach and see if it works for you."

"Fine, I will," Sirius told him hard headedly. He turned to me, "What's your name?"

I shrugged silently, beginning to wipe down the counter. If I started talking then I was going to have a problem stopping talking, even if I was just telling him my name. He should have known it anyways. We'd been going to school together for years.

"See? I told you that she's not going to cooperate!" James told him triumphantly.

Sirius seemed to ignore him. "What's your name?" he repeated.

"Why don't you tell me?" I immediately replied before I could make myself stay quiet. I was not supposed to say that. I wasn't supposed to give them anything that might tell them who I was or anything that could be used as a weapon against Ann Marie.

"I know you?" he inquired suspiciously.

I managed to shrug, "Maybe."

"Maybe she's a scorned ex-lover!" Peter suggested hopefully. "Have you ever dated her, Pads?"

He shook his head, studying me, "I'm pretty sure I'd remember that."

I felt an odd sensation. It was like words were fighting to get out of my mouth. It was like word vomit was coming up and I couldn't manage to hold it down. I bit my lip, trying to hold it back as long as I could.

"So do you know Ann Marie?" he pressed.

"Apparently better than you do," I retorted, the word vomit beginning to spew out. "You have about as much as a chance with her as a Lethifold does. First of all, you're completely going about this the wrong way. You'd better have better luck sprouting colorful feathers and doing some sort of mating dance. Second of all, you intimidate her. Third of all, she doesn't trust you. You started coming onto her out of the blue after years of not talking to her. Fourth of all, she's in love with someone else. You have as much chance with her as you do with Lupin's stalker."

"How do you know my name?" Remus demanded.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, I think I'm at idiot overload. You blokes are literally making my head feel like it's about to explode. This is possibly worse than your arrogance and that's saying something."

"We're not arrogant!" James exclaimed.

I snorted, "Please. You might as well be a peacock the way you strut around, especially you. You're what we like to call an 'arrogant toerag'. So, Black, what is your intention with my best mate? Why you'd choose her of all people? There's gotta be someone you're more compatible with. I mean, there's Mary MacDonald. No, wait, she's out of the country and you're not a very patient man. Let's see... Tessa Lawrence. No, no, no. She's definitely not pretty enough for you. It'd make you look pathetic. Renee Rollins. No, wait, isn't she the best mate of your ex-girlfriend. That'd almost be like going against a Code or something. I suppose that just leaves Ann Marie, huh? I mean, dating a Slytherin would be disloyal to Gryffindor House and she'd have to be a Sixth Year. Seventh Years are going to go crazy with N.E.W.T.s coming up and dating a Fifth Year would pathetic. Of course, you can't date someone that you've already dated. Double-dipping is pretty pathetic, huh? Oh and no to Lily Evans because your best mate is in love with her so that'd probably also go against this elusive Code. Am I right?"

It seemed like none of the Marauders were even breathing. They all looked at me as if I'd just discovered where they hid the body of a murder victim. "Silent at last. Well took you damn long enough. So tell me, do you always leave the blueprints of your master plans lying around or did you just get lazy?"

They looked like fish for a moment, trying to speak but failing miserably. "You know," James finally dumbly whispered.

I rolled my eyes. Generally I wasn't so malevolent but between my hurt feelings and the indignation that they chose my best mate for this, I was feeling a little more cruel than usual. "Of course I know, stupid. I know a lot of things. Just do yourselves a favor and find someone else to chase around. You're not doing anyone any good by chasing after Ann Marie when you're never going to catch her. Find someone else for your little scheme."

"She's right," Remus spoke up. "Ann Marie is not the right choice."

"What?" Sirius and James both exclaimed.

Remus shrugged, "She's right. Ann Marie wouldn't last a day in our lifestyle. We need someone more sturdy. We need her."

I blinked several times. Was I the 'her' he was referring to? "Pardon?"

"You're perfect," he answered simply. "You're not intimidated by us. Sirius wouldn't have to pursue you because you already know that it's an allusion. You know the truth so there are no false expectations going into this. You could keep up with him better than Ann Marie."

I jeered at him, "I'm pretty sure I'm not on the list."

"She can't meet all the requirements," James argued.

"You go to Hogwarts, don't you? That's how you know our names, right?" Remus ignored him.

I nodded slowly.

James scoffed, "She's lying! We'd know if she went to our school."

I turned on him, "Contrary to popular belief you don't own or run Hogwarts. And you apparently don't know almost any of your classmates. I can think of at least four girls who would meet your requirements that you didn't put on your list."

"Including you?" Remus pressed knowingly.

I shrugged, "Maybe."

"Are you a Sixth Year?" Sirius questioned dubiously.

"Yep," I answered, scrubbing the countertop with more vigor than before.

"What House? You can't possibly be a Gryffindor! Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? You don't look like a Slytherin to me," Sirius interrogated.

"Well she talks like one," James snorted.

"Gryffindor," I announced through clenched teeth.

"No way," Sirius breathed, looking at me as if he'd just discovered a new specie. "How do we not know you?"

"You're arrogant bastards," I retorted shortly. "You couldn't be bothered with me and I couldn't be bothered with you."

"Wait, you know things about Lily Evans, don't you?" James demanded, his attitude changing from distrustful to suddenly giddy. "You could tell me things about her, couldn't you?"

"Could," I answered shortly. "Not going to though so sod off. I don't find you entertaining anymore so go away."

"No. We served as your entertainment for the past week so now you're going to do something for us. You're going to pretend to be Sirius' girlfriend," Remus informed me.

"And why would I?" I scoffed. "You were the ones who paraded yourselves around like circus animals. I don't owe you anything."

"You're not going to do it because you owe us," he told me simply. "You're going to do it because you want something."

I looked at him dubiously, "And what exactly do I want?"

He shrugged, "Popularity, fame, insight into the inner workings of the castle. I don't know what you want but you have to want something. We just have to wait and find out what it is."

If any of the other three had said this then I wouldn't have believed them. None of the others had the necessary patience to wait this out. James and Sirius were more into the now instead of later and Peter was terrified of me so not very good at threats.

"Well prepare to wait a very long time then," I told him. "I'm a girl with pretty simple tastes. You might want to think of another option while you're waiting. Maybe you might want to think about just making Tessa over. She's got a lovely personality."

"We can wait as long as it takes," he assured me with a smirk.

"Well then you'd better take a seat because you're going to be here for a very long time," I told him as I crossed the shop to turn the sign back to "Open".

It turned out that they didn't need to wait as long as I'd expected. Walby came in with Lev at the most inopportune moment ever. "Miss Maggie, we –" Walby began to announce.

"Take Lev home now," I commanded, eyeing the Marauders' curiosity. It was bad enough that they were harassing me but that didn't mean my House Elf and little brother were fair game.

"Yes, Miss Maggie," Walby bowed his head, grabbing onto Lev's arm. "Come now, Mister Leverett. Your sister has company."

"But Maggie, I –" Lev began to argue.

I gave him a meaningful look, "Go."

Walby ushered him out of the shop and I could practically feel Remus smirking from across the room. He'd caught the smell of something and I was surely not to like it.

"You're Leverett Nolan's sister," Remus commented.

"So?" I scoffed.

"He didn't exactly have a good First Year at Hogwarts, did he? Didn't he spend half in the year in the Hospital Wing?" he questioned knowingly. "That must have been very hard on him."

"Yeah well people can be mean," I replied shortly.

"They don't have to be," James seemed to catch on.

I looked up at him, "What are you suggesting?"

"Your brother's a 'soft target'. He's smaller than his classmates and has no social skills to speak of. I heard he embarrassed himself in Flying Lessons so that probably did gain much popularity, did it?" James inquired. "He's not very good at dueling, is he? He's unpopular with no friends and no way to protect himself. What he needs is something to counteract that."

"Ooh big word," I drawled.

"He needs us," James informed me proudly.

"What? That's – That's ridiculous," I brushed him off. The idea was preposterous, wasn't it? I mean, sure they'd managed to make Peter Pettigrew, who was socially the equivalent of Lev in our year, become an unapproachable target. The influence they held over students was scary. Maybe they really could help Lev not be the target of everyone's pent up aggression.

"If we accepted him then everyone else will have to," Remus told me simply. "You wouldn't have to worry about him anymore."

"Are you trying to bribe me?"

"Would you rather we blackmail you?" Peter questioned, looking all pleased with himself that he'd managed to come up with a relevant comment.

"No, I suppose not. There's no promise you can make that I'll believe though," I pointed out wearily. "You aren't exactly known for being the most forward with the truth."

"If you don't think that we're upholding our end of the bargain then you can call it off," Sirius spoke up. "You can just walk away and the deal's over."

"How long? How long do you want to keep up the charade?" I inquired.

"Next weekend my father is having a birthday party. Almost everyone worth anything in the Wizarding World will be there. You'll come as Sirius' date and if you don't botch it too badly then we'll talk," James informed me. "We'll let you know the details. Have a nice day."

I opened and shut my mouth several times as they triumphantly strutted out of the shop. What the fuck had just happened and how I did I go from the one with the power to the one being tested?


	5. Spumoni

Today was like Spumoni ice cream. It was filled with fruits and nuts.

Going to the Potters' for one of the biggest social events of the year was a little disconcerting. The Nolan family wasn't exactly social lepers (as a whole) but the Potter family was a completely different creature. My family was old and established but these people… Well, they'd probably been around since Merlin.

I'd received a letter the night before from James, telling me that Sirius would pick me up via Floo Powder and that it was a dress robes event. He also made a snide remark about how this was a date with Sirius Black so I should dress accordingly. Wanker.

My biggest problem, other than having to go to the Potters', was that I didn't own any dress robes. The last formal event that I'd gone to was when I was about twelve and I wasn't exactly the same size anymore. Thanks to the late notice it wasn't like I was going to be able to Diagon Alley to buy some new robes. That meant one thing: I was going to have to have to brave my mother's closet.

My mum had been a socialite back before she was married. She was a hobnobbing, satin wearing, martini drinking princess of the charity balls. After she got married and settled down she kept almost every piece of clothing that she'd ever worn as some sort of shrine to her past life. She always hoped that maybe one day she'd get an opportunity to wear them again and relive her glory days. Of course, those glory days were almost two stones, twenty years, and three childbirths ago. I don't know if her post-childbirth hips would ever fit in any of those clothes again.

Getting into my mum's "special cupboard" was probably more dangerous than breaking into Gringott's. Fewer traps and dragons but if you even breathe in there then she knows. If you move something then it's like a little radar goes off in her brain. Luckily for me, however, she'd just left with Dad and my aunt Esther on a two month Mediterranean cruise. By the time she got back home I could rearrange the cupboard so she'd never have any proof that I was there. I just needed to find something that didn't scream 50's.

Mum rearranged her clothes in a different way each year. Once a year on her birthday she would spend the entire day in her cupboard, rearranging her clothes in a certain way while reminiscing about the "good old days". This past birthday she decided to organize them by season. The birthday before she'd done it by color and the year before she did it by how many times she'd worn the certain piece of clothing and the year before that she did it by how significant it was to her. I don't know how she could still figure out different ways to reorganize it.

I turned on her Muggle record player. I loved the big bands of the 30's and 40's that Gradmum used to make her listen to. I still loved the Beatles and Queen but they were nothing compared to a good swing band.

I hummed to myself as I swayed down the aisles of clothes. Most of the summer season clothes were too Muggle styled to be appropriate for a Wizarding World formal affair. I found three potential candidates, leaving pieces of parchment in the placed I'd taken the robes from to make sure that they got put back where they belonged.

The first candidate was immediately disqualified because it made me look like a piece of bubblegum. The second candidate's neckline was too plunging for a "first date", leaving only the third candidate as a real option. It was navy colored and sleeveless with a more modest neckline. There was a distinct vintage look to it that I like but I was just glad that it didn't make me look like a piece of Drooble's or a slag. I was supposed to be the new love of Sirius' life, not a one night stand.

I sashayed to my mother's vanity, singing along to the record. Feeling inspired by the 1940's vibe that I was getting from the music and the dress, I pinned my hair back to complement my vintage look. A little class never hurt anyone.

"Miss Maggie! Miss Maggie! It's a quarter to eight, Miss!" Walby announced anxiously from the entrance to my mother's enormous cupboard. "Your friend will be here soon, Miss!"

"Thank you for the warning, Walby," I replied drily, not wanting to be disturbed. This was my first day from the ice cream parlor in weeks. I wasn't going to be able to get Ann Marie to watch the shop again for a while so I wanted to enjoy the time I could get outside of my Florean's apron.

I felt like a Renaissance painter as I applied my makeup, paying close attention to the shadows and depths. I hadn't really gotten any chance to put any effort into my appearance this summer. I wore an apron and a ponytail seven days a week. I'd just sweat off makeup and after my workday was done all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep for weeks. This was the first time in a long time where I was going out and I could spend a little more attention on my appearance. Sure, it was a "date" with an arrogant berk but I was willing to overlook that.

What exactly was this "first date" going to entail anyways? Usually first dates involved a lot of anxiety, awkward touching, and getting acquainted. I wasn't feeling anxious, the touching was going to be choreographed, and I didn't have any desire to get acquainted with my "date". My night was probably going to involve faking giddiness, being as charming as I could manage, and dealing with the Marauders. I wasn't going to let those gits ruin my night though. I was going to have a good time despite them.

I slipped on a pair of black heels before returning the rejected candidates carefully back on their rack. I cautiously switched off the record player as I teetered towards the entrance, not being accustomed to wearing high heels. I took a few small steps, trying to regain my balance. I couldn't trip on my face at this party. I couldn't humiliate myself at the first formal party I'd been to since puberty. Besides, the Marauders never would have let me live it down.

"Maggie, a boy just showed up asking for you," Nina told me, carrying my Puffskein, Teddy. "Wow, you look pretty."

I smiled at my flattering little sister. "Thanks. Just don't tell Mum or Dad about this, okay? I'm going on a date and you know how crazy they get about me seeing blokes, especially when they haven't met them before."

She nodded, "Daddy told me I couldn't date until I'm thirty. I told him that I didn't want to be a fossil before I could get married."

I chuckled at her nine year old perspective of the world. "So this is our little sister, right? I'll make it up to you for your birthday," I assured her. "You might even get a Puffskein of your own."

She shook her head, "I want a kitty."

I sighed, "You drive a hard bargain, little sister. A cat it is."

She grinned triumphantly, "Your secret is safe with me."

I tweaked her nose, "Thanks, Nina. I'll see you in the morning. Don't wait up."

"Oi!" she called after me as I _tried _to glide gracefully down the stairs. Falling down stairs and breaking my nose wouldn't exactly be a good start to the evening.

Sirius was waiting by the fireplace when I arrived downstairs. Walby was talking to him in a hurried voice, probably apologizing for the wait.

"There she is! Miss Maggie, Miss Maggie! Mister Black was waiting for you, Miss," Walby squeaked anxiously at me, eyeing Sirius worriedly.

"Thank you, Walby," I replied in what I hoped was a relatively sophisticated manner. "Why don't you go check on Nina?"

He bowed deeply to me, something that he hadn't done since we rescued him, "Yes Miss." He was gone with a _POP!_

"He seems like an interesting character," Sirius commented politely.

"He's terrified of you," I replied honestly.

"Why? I've never even met him," he pointed out.

"He's afraid of anyone named 'Black'," I explained. "His last master was a Black and it wasn't a very pleasant experience. They were horribly abusive."

"Do you know which Blacks? They're probably my relatives."

"Druella maybe? I'm not really sure. It's been a few years and my parents never really said much about it," I shrugged.

"Druella and Cygnus, maybe? They're my aunt and uncle," he suggested.

"That's sounds about right," I nodded. I knew that talking about his family was never exactly the best conversation to have with him. The divide between him and his family was pretty notorious at school. When he ran away from his parents' house that was all the student body could seem to talk about.

"Should we?" he inquired. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter are excited to meet you."

I gave him a questioning look, "What have you told them?"

"James made me practice talking you up to them," he replied. "He said our relationship would be more believable if I started to make people think I was over the moon for you."

I rolled my eyes, "I thought we weren't 'in a relationship' yet."

"He just wants to set down the foundation in case that you make it through tonight," he informed me.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," I chided him sarcastically. "I know you're anxious to get back to stalking Ann Marie in the storage room of the ice cream shop but try not to get too excited with yourself."

"Ah there you are. You might not look like the shrew I met in the ice cream shop but you still sound like her."

"Actually, idiot, you met me on the Hogwarts Express during our First Year. You know, if you keep acting like an arrogant berk it might make it easier for me to act like I don't want to strangle you," I told him in a falsely sweet voice.

"Not my problem," he shrugged.

"Nothing is, is it?" I muttered. I straightened up, preparing for the upcoming hell. "Didn't you want to go?"

"Ladies first," he made a sweeping gesture towards the fireplace. "It's 'Potter Manor'."

Of course it was "Potter Manor". It couldn't be "Potter Shack" or even "Potter House". It had to be "Potter Manor" to make me feel even more inadequate. "Fine. See you on the other side," I agreed, grabbing a pinch of Floo powder from my Great-Great Grandmother's silver sugar bowl. I never knew why my mother demanding that we use a sugar bowl to hold our Floo Powder but she was just like that sometimes. I threw the powder into the fireplace, "Potter Manor." I stepped into the emerald flames and I could see hearths and fireplace begin to fly by as I sped towards the Potters'.

I managed to keep myself upright as I arrived in the Potters' fireplace. I stepped onto the marble floor, glad that I was still managing to keep my composure. Even if the rest of the evening turned to shite, at least I'd be able to say that I had a smooth entrance.

"You must be Maggie!" an elderly woman greeted me with a fragile smile. "Well, don't you look lovely? Is Sirius coming behind you then, dear?"

I nodded, "Yes, he should be here any minute."

"Wonderful. He's told me so many things about you. He seems to be quite smitten with you," she told me, squeezing my hand frailly.

Well if he'd managed to sell our blooming romance to her then I was going to have to do better than that. I feigned embarrassment, "I'm sure he must have exaggerated."

"No, I'm sure that he's done you justice perfectly. In fact just last night he was telling Charles and I –"

Emerald flames came shooting out of the fireplace and Sirius ducked out of the fireplace with enviable grace. "Mrs. Potter, I see you've met my Maggie," he commented with a polite smile.

"Oh yes. She and I were just getting acquainted," she returned his smile fondly. "You were right, dear, she is quite beautiful."

He pretended to be abashed, "Mrs. Potter, don't tell her too much or you might scare her off."

"I don't think there's any chance of that," I assured him. It was true. Even if she told me that he was a bed wetter or that he ate his hair, I wasn't going to give up an opportunity to make school more bearable for Lev. I was his big sister and he might not have let me fight his battles for him but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Well I won't keep you two lovebirds but Sirius, you should introduce her to Charles. He'd love to meet your date," Mrs. Potter told him. "It was nice meeting you, Maggie." She gave my hand another fragile squeeze before moving onto another group of guests.

I could feel my lungs deflate as I let out a deep breath. Well that first test went easier than I'd expected.

"You didn't do half bad," he praised conservatively. "The real test is going to be persuading Sammy though."

"Is Sammy here?" I questioned in surprise. I knew that I was going to have to face her eventually but I'd hoped that I'd get more time to prepare.

"OF course she is. I didn't want her to think there were any hard feelings," he told me easily as he searched the crowded room. "Besides, what kind of test would this be if it were too easy?"

"Are there?" I inquired curiously.

"Are there what?" he questioned, distracted as he searched the room.

"Any hard feelings," I clarified.

"There's Mr. Potter," he ignored my question. "Try to be charming, alright? He'd never believe that I was dating a social imp."

I had to stop myself from scowling at him. Someone might be watching and I didn't want to already ruin the work we'd already laid down towards people believing we were dating. "I'm more than capable of being charming, thank you."

"Well you'll have to convince me," he replied, leading me by the small of my back towards a crowd of well-wishers. Anyone who saw this might have thought it was an act of affection. I, however, felt more like I was a sheep being herded.

I didn't know how long my nerves were going to be able to put up this whole façade. I mean, I was only human and I had a limit to how much arrogance I could stomach. These Marauder blokes were definitely testing that limit more than anyone I'd met before.

Mr. Potter was a burly man, especially for his age. He was nearly a head taller than every other person in the room with arms the width of my thighs. He had dark hair that was full of grey streaks with a matching full beard and a grin that took up half of his face. My first impression of him was that he looked like a Viking. James definitely must have taken after his mother.

"Sirius, my boy," he greeted Sirius with a booming voice and good-natured grin. "Is that a date I see? Well bring her over here! Let's take a look at her."

Sirius conservatively took my hand, leading me towards the mammoth of a man. "Mr. Potter, this is Maggie Nolan. Maggie, this is Mr. Potter."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I told him with a polite smile.

"Pretty and well-mannered. Sirius must have won the lottery to get you for himself. Tell me, dear, did he pay you to get you to come here with him tonight?" he questioned, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Not nearly enough," I replied good-humoredly.

He let out a bellowing laugh that seemed to shake the room, "'Not nearly enough'?!  
'Not nearly enough'! She's got a sharp tongue her. I like it. If this lad gives you any trouble you let me know, alright? I'll sort him out for you."

"I'll keep that in mind but I don't think that'll be a problem," I assured him.

"Sirius, you make sure you're a good escort for her," Mr. Potter gave him a serious look from underneath his bushy eyebrows.

"Yes sir," Sirius nodded.

"It was very nice to meet you, Maggie. Make sure to enjoy yourself," Mr. Potter told me, clasping my hand.

"I will," I reassured him. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you, dear," he thanked me. "Save a dance for me and it'll be a very happy birthday. If Sirius can spare you, of course." He gave Sirius a nudge in the ribs with his club-sized elbow.

"I think I'll be able to manage this one time. It's your birthday after all," Sirius sighed good-naturedly.

"Good lad," he thumped him on the back of his shoulder. "Well that's enough chin wagging with you lot. I'm sure you two want to go snog off in the corner so I won't keep you. Just remember you owe me a dance, Maggie."

Sirius took the opportunity to drag me away at lightning speed without giving me the opportunity to assure Mr. Potter that I wouldn't forget. "Was that really necessary?" I questioned as he pulled me into a crowded ballroom.

There hundreds of couples dancing around the room and dozens more sitting at tables with lace tablecloths and glass goblets. This would have been my mother's ultimate fantasy if only she could see this. Luckily she wasn't there to get any ideas or she might try to remodel the house and add on a ballroom of her own.

"I had to get you out of there before he started up again," Sirius explained. "He's a great bloke but once he starts up a conversation it's hard to make him end it. You have to take the opportunity to get out while you can."

"I will keep that in mind," I assured him.

"Good. Now how good at you at dancing?"

"I can hold my own."

"Well we'll see about that," he offered me his hand.

I took it confidently. My mother had me in ballroom dancing lessons since I was five years old. I think she had this whole grand illusion of me being some sort of socialite prodigy. That never happened but at least I could still almost waltz in my sleep. He set his hand on my waist, his fingers curving around my hipbone. I grasped his shoulder, ignoring my mother's voice in my ear telling me to remember to be dainty. He winced slightly at my grip but we were off waltzing around the room before he could say anything.

"You're not horrible," he praised conservatively as we fell into rhythm with the other dancing couples.

"Oh stop. Your confidence in me is really too overwhelming," I rolled my eyes. "Besides, I don't need to hear you tell me how well I dance. I'm already well aware of how good I am."

"Isn't that a bit arrogant?"

I snorted, "That's like the pot calling the kettle black."

"I'm not that bad!" he scoffed. "I could be a lot worse!"

"Yes, and Acromantulas could be a lot more bloodthirsty but that still doesn't mean I'd like to spend an evening with one," I retorted.

"Is being in my company so horrible?" he demanded.

"Of course not," I answered breezily as we waltzed around the room. "There are a lot worse people I could think of. Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, Snape, etc. You only irritate me a little bit in comparison to any of those Death Eater wannabes. At least you don't practice Imperius Curse on your fellow students so I guess you could be a lot worse."

He went silent. I'd been referring to Mulciber and Avery's attack on Mary MacDonald during the past year at Hogwarts. They'd put her under the Imperius Curse and nearly made her take a group of Muggleborn First Years into the Forbidden Forest to meet the Acromantulas. Luckily we, her roommates, realized something was wrong with her before she could end up actually going through with it. She was in the Hospital Wing for months though and neither Avery or Mulciber were extremely powerful wizards. None of us could believe that Dumbledore allowed them to stay at Hogwarts but he'd always been one for second chances. They ended up getting shadowed by a professor and detention for the rest of the year but none of us Gryffindors thought it was enough.

"Dumbledore called you in to testify, didn't he? When Mary got attacked?" he questioned in an unusually pensive voice. "He called into his office so you could tell him what happened? Didn't you get a detention for Transfiguring them into snakes?"

"Probably not my best moment," I admitted. "In retrospect I probably shouldn't have done that in front of McGonagall and Dumbledore. I don't think McGonagall was as angry about it as she let on though. The next day she gave me fifteen house points for no apparent reason."

"Why did you do it?" he inquired curiously.

"Because they'd gotten off too easy," I replied honestly. "A year of detention and having a professor follow them around? That's pathetic. They used an Unforgivable Curse. They should've been thrown into Azkaban like everyone else."

"I agree," he replied simply.

"Really?" I questioned dubiously.

"Of course I do. Avery and Mulciber should've been expelled at least. They never should've been given a second chance. They should be held to the same standard as any other wizard who uses the dark arts. It'd be one thing if it was a folly of youth but it wasn't. They'll do it again and again," he answered. "I agree that it's not safe for the other students that they're being given free range over the castle."

"Don't look now but I think we actually agreed on something," I commented off-handedly.

"No, don't tell me or I might die of shock," he rolled his eyes.

"Well if it gets me rid of you then I'll take what I can get."

He laughed sarcastically, "Aren't you hilarious?"

"Yes," I replied honestly.

"Can I cut in?" I heard a husky voice ask.

I looked up to see a smiling man with boyish dimples. "He's all yours," I assured him.

"Thank you, kind lady," he bowed, taking my place as Sirius' dance partner.

Sirius groaned, "Collin, I'm really not –"

"Just shut up and dance," he told him, beginning to lead him across the floor.

I laughed, shaking my head at the sight of two men tangoing across the floor, weaving between the older couples. What a strange party I'd managed to get myself dragged to.

I took refuge at an empty table, not sure what exactly to do with myself now that my "date" had found himself another dance partner. At least if I sat down then I could rest my aching feet. Whoever invented high heels was a sadist towards women.

I could hear hiccupping coming from underneath the table. I lifted the tablecloth curiously, "Hello?"

"Mum?" a distinctly familiar feminine voice replied drunkenly.

"Renee?" I questioned in shock. Sirius' ex-girlfriend's best mate was drunk under the table I just happened to choose to sit at. That was just a cruel bit of fate.

"Maggie?" she answered, her eyes squinting as she tried to focus on me. She let out a loud hiccup, "I don't feel very good."

"I can see that," I told her, noticing the amount of empty champagne flutes littered around her. "Do you want to come out from under there?"

She shook her head wildly, "I don't want my mummy to see me. She'd be too mad. I'll just stay here."

"Renee, love, you can't stay under their forever," I pointed out. "Why don't you come out here and we'll try sobering you up?"

"Nope," she blatantly refused, trying to drain the leftover drops of champagne out of her glass.

I groaned. As if trying to pretend to be Sirius Black's smitten date wasn't enough to deal with tonight. I took a goblet of water off the table, handing it to her underneath the table cloth, "Drink this."

"What is it?" she questioned.

"Vodka," I lied automatically.

"Yummy," she greedily grabbed the goblet from me, spilling half of its contents down her robes. She downed the rest of the "vodka" in one go, letting out a sigh of satisfaction, "Delicious." She pushed the goblet back in my hand, "More."

I wasn't exactly going to argue with a drunken woman asking for water. Well, she thought I was plying her with alcohol but she didn't need to know that. I handed her another full goblet of water, which she eagerly consumed. "I don't mean to pry but why exactly are you doing this? You've never really seemed that big of a drinker."

"My best mate left me! She left me for that bloke!" she complained, handing me back the glass. "She's too busy being all in love." She let out another loud hiccup. "More vodka!"

I handed her another full goblet, "Do you really think that drinking is the best solution? Couldn't you just talk to her?"

She let out a snort, which turned into a hiccup. "Like she'd listen. She's too busy planning their wedding to hear what I have to say. Do you know how long they've been dating? Two weeks! They're probably already plotting their future children's names!"

"So you're feeling neglected?" I asked knowingly. I understood where she was coming from. Sometimes I felt the same way with Ann Marie and her obsession with Bertram and she wasn't even in a relationship with him. If she was then I'd never see her.

"Is a little bit of attention too much to ask for?" she complained before taking a sip of the water. "I mean, I've been her best mate since First Year! Now all of a sudden she's found the 'love of her life' and I'm not worth a few minutes of her time?! I was there before Warner and I'll be there afterwards!"

"Warner?" my interest was peaked. "Warner Herrick?"

She sniffled, nodding as she took another drink, "He's apparently perfect."

"I don't know if 'perfect' is quite the right word for him," I replied, grinning roguishly at my memories of him. "He could be a right git sometimes."

"You know Mr. Wonderful?" she questioned before hiccupping.

"Oh yeah," I answered fondly. "He and I go way back. Our mums were best mates until I was almost six. They had a row about something. A cake recipe? I'm not sure. Anyways we had a lot of play dates. Actually that's probably why dating him last year was such a bad idea. Way too much history there."

"You dated Warner?" she demanded, dumbstruck at the idea.

I nodded, "For about two weeks last fall. It really didn't go well. I suppose it's not destined to last when your mums used to make you take baths together when you were little."

"Maggie, who are you talking to?" I heard Sirius question. "People are going to start to think you're crazy."

"Hi Sirius," Renee hiccupped, handing me her empty goblet. "More vodka."

"Is that Renee?" Sirius inquired, dumbstruck as he ducked under the table. "Jesus, what is she doing here?"

"Getting pissed," she replied before tugging on the hem of my robes. "More vodka!"

I went to hand her another goblet of water but Sirius snatched it away from me, "Maggie, what are you doing?" he demanded. "She's already had more than enough. I can't believe you'd do something so completely irresponsible?! What if she -"

"Sirius, relax," I told him as calmly as I could. "I know what I'm doing."

"'You know what you're doing'?! And what is that?! Killing her?! Destroying her liver?! What are you?! Some kind of sadist?! How can you -"

"Sirius, love, shut up," I interjected in a forced composed voice as I took the goblet away from him. "Here you go, sweetheart," I handed the glass to Renee. "You have to trust me," I assured my "date". "I do know what I'm doing. She'll be fine."

"No, you obviously don't. Plying her with more alcohol won't make her more sober! She needs water to help clear it from her system," he insisted.

"No water," Renee refused. "More vodka! It tastes better."

I handed Sirius the last goblet on the table, "You need a drink too. It'll clear your head."

He pushed the glass away, "No! You're being horribly irresponsible. I'm not going to -"

I forced the glass to his mouth, tipping the water into it. Most of it ran down his chin and soaked the front of his dress robes. "How do you like the _vodka_?" I inquired harshly, not appreciating all the insults he'd made towards my intelligence.

"You're right," he sputtered, wiping the excess liquid from my mouth. "She needs more vodka. I'll go get more."

"Thanks," I muttered as he left to get more water.

"I don't feel good," Renee complained. "I feel like I'm going to be sick. I need to lie down."

"Just wait a little while," I told her. "Just hold on a little while longer. We have to wait until Sirius gets back and then we'll be able to put you to bed."

"Just don't tell my mum," she pleaded groggily. "I don't want mummy or daddy to know about this. They'd never let me see sunshine again."

"Well no one wants that," I assured her. "I'll do what I can to make sure she doesn't find out. Just wait a few minutes and Sirius and I will take care of all of this."

"Is he your date?" she questioned with a yawn.

"Yes," I replied. It wasn't necessarily a lie. Sirius had invited me there to be his date even though it was just about keeping up his appearance.

"Then he's not getting back with Sammy, is he?" she groaned unhappily.

"No," I replied. "They're over for good. I'm afraid you're just going to have to be stuck with Warner."

"Who's going to be stuck with me?" I heard a familiar voice question.

"Sammy apparently," I answered breezily. "Though I doubt she'd consider it being 'stuck' if you two are as repulsively adorable as everyone says."

"Hey Mags," Warner greeted me with a broad smile. "How've you been?"

"Brilliant." That was a bald-faced lie but I was going to have to get used to lying if I kept playing Sirius' girlfriend. "You?"

"Same." He looked brilliant. He was practically glowing and his grin was contagious. He looked like he'd just won the Quidditch World Cup single-handedly. "What's been going on with you? What's new?"

"Erm..." I didn't exactly know how to answer that. Saying "Well I'm currently being bribed to pretend to date your girlfriend's ex and I'm being harassed by him and his mates pretty much every minute of every day but other than that, not much" was obviously a bad idea. "Actually I've been -"

"How is she?" Sirius saved me from trying to come up with a believable lie. He handed me the glass of water.

"Drunk," I answered honestly.

"Who's drunk?" I heard Sammy question. She'd been so quiet and I'd been so distracted with Renee and Warner that I hadn't realized she was there.

"Renee's a bit pissed," Sirius replied as I tried to coax Renee into taking the goblet from me.

"Renee? As in my Renee?" she looked surprise at the concept that her underage friend would even consider drinking.

"Oh I'm 'your Renee' now, am I?" Renee scoffed bitterly from under the table, taking the goblet roughly from my hands.

"Renee? Love, what are you doing?" Sammy inquired, crouching down beside the table.

"Go away!" Renee roughly commanded. "I have a new best friend now and she'd never leave me for Mr. Wonderful."

"Who?!" Sammy demanded.

"Maggie!" she drunkenly pointed at me. "Maggie Nolan is my new best friend and she's a better best friend than you ever were!"

I blinked several times. I'd gone to Hogwarts with Renee since First Year but she and I had never been close. We never talked much. She was a Ravenclaw and I was a Gryffindor. We'd take classes together and make polite small talk but we were definitely nowhere near best friends.

I shrugged at Sammy, hoping to portray that this was all intoxicated babbling and I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Maggie!" Mr. Potter's boisterous voice carried through the ballroom. "You owe me a dance, love!"

I looked to Sirius, hoping to find a glimmer of support. He flashed me a smile, "Go ahead. I think I can manage without you for a few minutes."

I ducked my head under the table, "Renee, are you going to be alright without me for a little while? I'll be right back."

She nodded, "I suppose. You're my best friend so I can trust you not to abandon me."

I shot Sammy an apologetic look. "I'll be right back," I announced before darting across the dance floor towards Mr. Potter.

He grinned broadly as I approached him, "Maggie, my dear."

"Rumor is that I owe you a dance," I informed him in my best attempt at a charming tone.

His grin widened, his mouth looking enough to swallow an entire bear cub alive, "Aye, you do. Just once around the floor, alright? I don't want Sirius to get jealous."

"Yes, that probably wouldn't be a good idea," I agreed. I highly doubted that Sirius would get jealous if I was dancing with Mr. Potter or Ludo Bagman from the Wimbourne Wasps. He just couldn't be arsed to actually care.

He offered me his hand, "Shall we go then?"

Dancing with Mr. Potter was a lot like dancing with an animated tree, or at least what I assume dancing with a bear would be like. He was bigger than me and uncoordinated. Luckily he didn't step on my toes or I might have passed out from pain. He seemed to find his inability to dance amusing. Every time he stumbled, he let out a bellowing laugh that ricocheted across the ballroom.

Luckily Sirius saved me just after the song was over, claiming I had friends who were searching for me. I liked Mr. Potter as a person but not so much as a dance partner.

I spent the rest of the evening trying to coax Renee into staying away from the Firewhiskey and to convince everyone that I fancied the hell out of Sirius. Eventually she vomited all over my shoes and Sirius had to take me home.

He continued his habit of praising me conservatively when we arrived back in my living room, telling me that I'd done well enough. He said that I'd passed the test and he'd be in touch before he disappeared back out of the fireplace.

I took my vomit-covered shoes in hand and set out to find Walby so he could help me scour my shoes. This had been the weirdest night ever and I wasn't sure that it was as horrible as it should have been.


	6. Coffee

Life was beginning to feel like coffee ice cream, incredibly bitter.

"So it wasn't bad enough that you hound me at my workplace but now you've taken it upon yourselves to annoy me at home too," I complained, rolling my eyes at the four Marauders who greeted me at the door after I arrived home for a long day at the ice cream shop. "Don't you have actual lives? You know, ones where you don't have to bribe people into pretending to date you?"

"We decided that it was time for Sirius to meet your parents," James informed me pompously.

"Is that so? Well my parents are currently floating down the Mediterranean so you'll have to wait a while for that," I replied breezily, slipping on a pair of house shoes.

"Your parents are gone?" James questioned dumbly. "When will they be back?"

"September sometime," I shrugged. "Guess you're out of luck."

"'Out of luck'? Your house is free until September. We could party all summer! This is incredibly lucky!" James assured me excitedly. "Moon, you're in charge of invitations. I'm thinking the usual. Lily, of course. Renee, Sammy, Herrick, Aubrey, Marlene, Creswell, Greer, and Tessa. Invite them around noon or so. That should be good. Peter, you're on food patrol. And no, that does not mean a cheese platter. Try getting something that normal people will like. I'll take care of the booze. Pads, mate, take _her_ upstairs and practice snogging. We don't want you to look forced when everyone gets here tomorrow."

"Excuse me?" I questioned as calmly as I could manage. "I'm not snogging him unless I absolutely have to."

"Oh come on. I'm sure you'll enjoy it," Sirius assured me loftily. "All girls do."

"You're repulsive," I informed him bluntly.

"Don't be such a prude, Nolan," James scoffed. "Just consider it practice for the future."

I snorted, "Yeah right. After this is all over I'm going man vegan until I can get enough therapy to reverse all the damage you lot've done to my mental state."

"You can lie on a couch and complain to a nutter doctor later," he brushed me off. "Now go upstairs and suck his face off."

I scowled at him, beginning to wonder for the umpteenth time if I should have never agreed to this kind of abuse. "One of these days you're going to regret being such a prat," I told him.

"You threatening me, Nolan?" he seemed to be amused at the thought.

"'Course not," I replied easily. "I wouldn't do that."

"Good. Now go upstairs and I don't want to see either one of you until you've chapped each others' lips," he informed Sirius and I.

I scowled at him again. This bloke was really beginning to test my patience.

"Well go," he barked, waving me on. "The sooner you start, the sooner you finish." I think it's safe to say that I was beginning to plot his untimely death.

"Come on, love," Sirius beckoned to me. "Let's leave them to their work."

I started bitterly towards the stairs, feeling taken advantage of. There had to be a better way to make sure Lev didn't get the living crap beat out of him. Maybe even transferring him to another school would have been a better alternative to this.

"You might want to lower your brooding level just a little bit. I can practically feel you getting an ulcer," Sirius told me casually.

"Shut up, Black," I snapped, feeling particularly aggressive after a long day at the ice cream shop.

"Oi, what happened to that charming girl I brought to Mr. Potter's birthday party?!"

"What happened to that cold, distant bloke who enjoyed ignoring my existence?" I shot back.

"He found that ignoring you isn't very productive," he replied.

"Well I guess that girl ran away screaming after spending too much time with you and your mates," I retorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Pretty much that you're the most arrogant person I've ever met and - Nina, bed now!" I whipped my head around to see my sister's bedroom door cracked open. I saw her jump away from the door, her dusty hair flipping around.

He jerked his head, looking at where she had just disappeared to. "How did you know she was there?"

"Big sister intuition," I shrugged.

"Wouldn't know. I've never had one," he shrugged back.

"Obviously," I muttered.

"Pardon? What was that?"

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "Can we just get this over? I really don't want to be at this all night."

He shrugged, "I guess so. We should probably get started before Prongs - I mean James - has a conniption."

"Why do you call him 'Prongs'? And why does he call you 'Padfoot'? And the others 'Moony' and 'Wormtail'?" I demanded curiously.

"I thought you wanted the snogging to be over with," he pointed out.

"I think I can handle waiting the thirty seconds it'll take for you to tell me the story," I answered stubbornly.

"Well it'll take a lot longer than thirty seconds," I replied expectantly.

"You're not authorized to hear that story," he shook his head.

I scoffed, "Do you know arrogant you sound? I'm not 'authorized'? You sound like a child playing special agents," I accused. "What does that even mean? I'm not 'authorized'?"

"I can't tell you," he shrugged. "It doesn't concern you."

I shook my head irritably, "I don't know why I'm still not used to this. I really should expect you four to act like you're some sort of bloody secret society. You know, not knowing anything doesn't really bother me. It's how absolutely full of yourself that you are. Has anyone told you late how absolutely exhausting you are?"

"We need to start practicing," he commented off-handedly.

"Yeah well that's going to be a problem because you're not _authorized _to be within five feet of me," I retorted hotly.

He rolled his eyes, "You're being ridiculous."

"Welcome to dealing with you lot," I shot back.

"You really don't want to do that," he warned me.

"Love, you didn't even know my name two weeks ago," I pointed out. "How could you possibly know me well enough to know what I want to do? In fact you lot've driven so far out of my mind that I'm sure that what I generally want do is the same thing as what I want to do now."

"And what do you want to do now?" he exhaled uninterestedly.

"I want to make you understand that I'm not putting with any of you blokes' bullocks anymore. I'm not going to be treated like my existence is solely for your enjoyment. If I talk sense into you then I'm just going to have a different tactic."

"Really?" he asked in amusement, as if he was watch an ant trying to move a mountain.

I smiled at him maniacally, "I'm just going to show you what I'm going to do if you don't stop brassing me off," I replied. "You're not the only one who can be a little vindictive."

"What could you possibly do to us?" he scoffed loftily.

My insane smile turned into a grin, "I'm going to make a phone call."

"A what?"

My grin widened. "You'll see," I told him in a sing-song voice, slipping past him and skipping down the stairs.

"Maggie!" he called after me.

I whistled in a happy yet almost deranged way. Apparently my mental health couldn't handle the gruelling hours at work with the additional stress of the Marauders on top of it. I wasn't surprised. It'd always been a matter of time before my mental state couldn't ripped at the seams.

"Nolan, what are you doing down here?" James demanded. "You're supposed to be upstairs with Sirius!"

"Shut up, Potter," I replied airily, flouncing down the last step. "Don't you know I'm horribly busy?"

"Busy with what?"

"Ringing an old friend," I answered breezily, practically skipping to my father study. I plopped down on the office chair, spinning to take the phone off the desk. I punched in the only number I ever used while on holiday.

I wrapped the phone cord around my index fingers as I waited as the phone line rang. Eventually a man answered, "Hello?"

"Good evening, Mr. Potter," I replied with a smirk. "May I talk to Lily please?"

"Of course, dear. Just a mo."

"Nolan," James hissed. "Nolan, what are you doing?!"

"Shut up, Potter," I answered loftily. "I'm busy."

"Hello?" Lily answered the phone.

"Wotcher Lily," I greeted cheerfully, sadistically satisfied by James' sudden look of horror. "How goes the summer homework?"

"Maggie! Long time no talk," she told me. "I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me. Words is that you've been pretty busy with your extracurriculars."

"Yeah, the Marauders have been keeping me pretty busy," I replied. "You know how their ex-girlfriends always say that dating one of them is like dating all four of them? Let's just say that I'm beginning to see where they're going from."

"What's dating Black like?" she questioned curiously. "Is he absolutely horrid?"

"What's dating Sirius like?" I repeated for James to hear. "Well... It's definitely _nothing _like people would think."

"Better or worse?"

"Well.. I guess it's just different," I answered.

"PADS!" James yelled out the study door. "PADFOOT, GET IN HERE!"

"James, dear, shut up," I told him in a dangerously sweet voice. "If you want to go get Sirius then go get him."

"I'm not leaving you here with Lily! Not even it's on the feletone!" he huffed.

"It's not the 'feletone', it's the telephone, moron," I rolled my eyes at him. "Obviously someone didn't pay much attention in Muggle Studies."

"So how does the boyfriend enjoy your insulting his best mate?" Lily teased, obviously pleased that she wasn't the only one who called James names.

"Wouldn't know," I replied, twirling the cord around my index finger. "I guess I never thought to ask."

"Prongs, have you seen Maggie? She's being - Maggie, get off the phone," my "boyfriend" commanded, obviously having heard James' beckon.

"No," I stubbornly refused. "Even prisoners get phone calls."

"Does Potter not want you talking to me?" she questioned indignantly.

"Actually that was Sirius but James isn't too fond of it either," I informed her, setting my feet on my father's desk. He would've start turning colors if he could see me but he was in Italy so it didn't matter.

Strings of threats and expletive-filled insults came flooding out of her mouth, most of them including the theme of them being misogynists and arrogant.

"You're going put what where? I don't even think that's possible," I tried to talk over her ranting, having forgotten abut the power of her ginger rage. "If you do that to them then they'll die. Lily, pet, calm down. It's okay. No, you don't need to do that. It's okay. No, you don't need a rusty spoon. Lily! No! No, don't even think about that! That's illegal! Just calm down. It's going to be okay. I really don't think that's going to be necessary. I think we're coming to an understanding."

"Are you beating them into submission then?"

I laughed, "I'm not you. I don't feel the need for violence for everything."

"Oh come off it. You're dating a Marauder. You've got to have the urge to beat them," she pressed. "I mean, they're arrogant wankers."

I giggled, more to make James and Sirius paranoid than anything. "Have you heard from Sammy lately? I haven't talked to her since Renee drunkenly declared I was her best friend. There's no hard feelings, right?"

"Don't you dare," Sirius hissed at me.

I winked at him, feeling pretty proud of myself. After the last two weeks of being insulted, walked on, and treated like a prop, I was enjoying watching them sweat.

"She was pretty worried about you at first. Renee adored you, Warner dated you first, and Sirius apparently seemed to be over the moon about you at Mr. Potter's birthday party," she admitted.

"Well Renee was drunk."

"Yeah but still."

"I don't know. I think I should be more worried about her," I commented, preparing to go in for the kill. "I mean, she and Sirius dated for months."

"You think he still has feeling for her?" she questioned as if it was a scandalous idea.

"I don't know if he does," I lied, staring intently at Sirius. "I just know he's proud. Sammy dumped for another guy. He can't just be over that."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm just saying that what if he's trying to cover up his wounded ego?" It was like everyone in the room stopped breathing. Peter ducked his head into the study but quickly scurried off after noticing the tension in the room.

"Wow, Maggie, are you sure? I mean, has he ever done anything to make you think that?"

I stared at Sirius, wondering if he could turn blue if I delayed my answer. He stared back stonily, his gray eyes burrowing into me. "No," I replied finally. "I guess I'm just being a little unreasonable. He's never done anything to make me think that."

Sirius and James exhaled deeply. The threat to their precious scheme was over and they hadn't brought out the rage of Lily.

"I'm sure Black fancies the hell out of you," she assured me. "You don't have anything to worry about. Even he isn't that heartless."

"I know. You're right. I'm just being ridiculous. While talking about ridiculousness, the Marauders found out about my parents being on holiday and the house being free. You're going to get an owl from one of them, inviting you to some sort of get-together at my place tomorrow. Anyways you have to come."

"You, me, the Marauders, Tessa, Sammy, Warren, Renee, and the other Gryffindor blokes."

"I guess I'll go," she agreed. "Anything to get away from my dad for a few hours. He's absolutely obsessed with the idea of some family camping trip."

"Parents. They always have some sort of crazy ideas for bonding."

"You're telling me."

"Last year my mum wanted to take me wine tasting in Paris. Dad had to remind her that you can't exactly take a fifteen year old into a vineyard," I reminisced. "She had to settle with just spending a day showing me all of her old photos and telling me lengthy anecdotes about her life. Next time I'm telling her to just go wining on her own."

"Hold on. Where's Ann Marie?"

"Ann Marie?" I questioned in confusion. "She's probably at home. Why?"

"You didn't list her among the invited," she pointed out. "Are you two fighting?"

"No, not at all," I assured her. "She's just a bit suhy. She's afraid of you so I don't know how well she'd survive the Marauders. I've already talked to her about it. She'd rather not partake." That was a lie. I hadn't spoken to Ann Marie since I took her place as the "object of Sirius' affection". I just didn't know what to tell her to make this whole mess make sense.

"I'm glad she's being so understanding. Petunia, yes, I know. Shut up. Maggie, I have to go. My sister's waiting for her boyfriend to ring. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. See you tomorrow. Night."

"Night."

I hung up the phone, spinning victorious in my father's desk chair. I was feeling slightly less deranged and more content.

"Do you know the damage you could have done!" Sirius demanded hotly. "You could have ruined everything!"

"Yes, I do know and now you do too," I replied with a shrug.

"If we go down then you're coming down with us!" James pointed out. "And you never told us you were mates with Lily! You witheld information!"

I chuckled and shook my head, "No. You have a lot more to lose than I do. Besides, I can cry on demand. If I get into a rough spot then I'll just start sobbing about how I did for my poor little ostracized brother. And just because I don't flaunt my friendship with Lily doesn't mean that I purposely kept it a secret. Ann Marie's intimidated by her so I don't get to spend much time with her. That doesn't mean I'm keeping it a secret."

"You're a sociopath!" Sirius accused.

I shook my head, "Sociopaths don't have consciences. I don't really want to ruin your lives. I'm not really a life ruining kind of person. You annoy the hell out of me and you're arrogant berks but that doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy making you miserable. It just means that I'm willing to do it if I have to. Now, I've been working all day and I have to be human tomorrow when your guests get here so please go. I have a date with my bed."

"Fine. We'll go but don't think that this changes anything, Nolan," James told me in a would-be menacing tone.

"You know that's not true," I waved him off breezily. "You blokes are a lot of things but you're not stupid. You've got important things to do than try and wage a war with me."

"Well maybe we'll fight you just for the principles of things," he informed me with his chest puffed out proudly.

"And maybe I'll ring Lily and tell her how awful you've been to me," I retorted. "I have a feeling that wouldn't help your chances with her."

"Are you threatening me, Nolan?" he scoffed.

"Of course not. I'm warning you. I'm tired. I don't want to play your games anymore so if you want to keep playing then I'm going to wipe the board with your arse and be done with it," I told him bluntly.

"Well I'm not -" James began to argue.

"Prongs, stop. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Let's just leave it for the night. Let's just leave it and talk when we're calmer," Sirius interrupted. "Maggie, we'll see you in the morning. Try to be a little more civilized then. Come on, Prongs. We're going."

I rolled my eyes. I'd been as civilized as they were going to get. They weren't going to get anymore than that. "I trust you can let yourselves out. I'll see you blokes in the morning then. 'Night."

The next morning when the Marauders arrived and after I'd gotten a good night's sleep, I felt slightly less hostile towards them. Only slightly though. James started barking orders almost immediately after he walked in. I soon found myself threatening his life and ordering him not to wake my little siblings. Apparently after just spending fifteen minutes on the phone with Lily, I was already absorbing some of her temper.

Dirk Cresswell, Bertram, and Ben Greer arrived first. They looked me over once and then helped themselves to the large quantities of Firewhiskey that James had managed to procure. Sammy and Warner came next. I could tell that Sammy was uncomfortable being there but she tried to be polite. Warner just made himself at home like he always used to.

Renee arrived with Tessa and Marlene sometime later. One look at Tessa and I suddenly understood why the Marauders didn't think that dating her would help Sirius' reputation. She wasn't deformed looking... exactly. She was just a little masculine. I'm sure she would have been a very handsome man, you know, if she was a man. Marlene wasn't even a candidate because she and Sirius briefly dated at the end of Fourth Year. It was a brief relationship but it still counted.

"Maggie, love, can you come over here for a minute?" Sirius beckoned to me from his huddle with Ben, Bertram, Dirk, James, and Remus. I didn't like the idea of going into that big of a concentration of testosterone but I was still trying to be a team player. If I wanted the Marauders to put a good effort into making this arrangement work then I was going to have to meet them halfway.

"What's up?" I replied as I slipped into the mass of blokes.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, not necessarily being as affectionate as necessary. "Have you seen Sammy?"

I nodded, "She just got here with Warner maybe fifteen minutes ago. Did you need her for something?"

"No. I just wanted to make sure that everything was going fine with you two. You know, that you weren't making her feel too awkward," he replied, squeezing my shoulder.

I didn't know what he was playing at. Was this some sort of code for him asking me if I'd been telling Sammy his secrets? Was it a hint that he wanted to me to be friendlier towards her? I didn't exactly understand what the hell he wanted.

"I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her yet," I answered honestly. "I tried but Warner dragged her off before I had the chance. Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"Thanks love. I just don't want there to be any tension between us," he told me. Something told me that he wasn't talking about us and Sammy. Was he really saying that he didn't want any tension between him and I after what happened the night before? I didn't understand his subtext.

"I'll be sure to play nice," I assured him. "I'm sure she and I will be mates in no time."

"Is that really a good idea, mate?" Bertram asked him, taking a swig of his Firewhiskey. "Do you really want your ex and your girlfriend to be friends? That'll make things pretty messy."

"Why would it? It's not like their breakup was messy," I pointed out. "I don't see why me and Sammy being friendly would cause any trouble. I mean, it's not like she's the type to try to sabotage our relationship or anything. She's better than that."

"It's not a good idea," Bertram warned Sirius, ignoring me. "Trust me. That's the last thing you want. Just keep them at a safe distance. It'll give you more trouble than it's worth."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Sirius assured him.

"Yeah, Bert, I think your drinking's made you paranoid," James spoke up loudly. "Sammy and Maggie'll be fine. It's not like they're the plotting kind." He gave me a hard, meaningful look as he said this.

"I don't have any reason to plot," I replied coolly. "And definitely not with Sammy."

"See? No worries," Sirius squeezed my shoulder tightly.

"I have to agree with Bertram on this one," Ben spoke up. "It never ends well."

"They're right," Dirk agreed.

"Oh so you three have experience with your girlfriends scheming with your exes? Oh wait. I forgot. Neither of you have girlfriends and most of you don't even have exes. Maybe Sirius would be better off taking advice from blokes with actual experience with girls that aren't shaped like their right hand," I commented before I even knew what was coming out of my mouth.

Remus snorted into his drink. James let out a bellowing laugh that reminded me of his father, sending his glasses flying to the floor. Sirius grinned in amusement. "I'm going to go make nice with the ex," I announced before the insulted parties could retort. "I'll see you blokes later."

I reached up to give Sirius a peck on the mouth. It just seemed like the thing that would have been the most natural. It was over in a second and I didn't really think about it. It wasn't until I was walking away that I realized that it'd been the first time Sirius and I'd kissed. It wasn't anything special. It was quick, effective, and relatively painless. He kind of tasted like licorice and Firewhiskey. It wasn't horribly tasting, just a little peculiar.

"Wotcher Sammy," I greeted the displaced brunette. Warner seemed to have left her while scouting out the food and none of her other friends had stepped in to keep her company. "How are you?"

"Oh Maggie," she greeted me with a forced smile. "It's a really nice house you have. Warner was just telling me about how you and he used to slide the banisters together."

I laughed and nodded, "Yeah. That seems like almost forever ago. He was just knees and elbows then."

She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, "Yeah."

I didn't know what I was supposed to say to her. "Your ex-boyfriend is only using me to make you think he isn't a wreck after your breakup, I was the first girl your boyfriend ever kissed, and sorry about your best mate claiming me as her own"? I didn't think that was going to go over too well.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened during Mr. Potter's birthday party. I know things were kind of weird," I decided to tell her. "I'm really sorry about Renee. She was drunk and feeling a little neglected. And I know that being dragged along here is probably awkward for you, especially since we're dating each others' exes. I don't things to be weird between us. I mean, I think we could be really good friends. I'd like to at least try. Lily and I - erm - have kind of a study group for our Arthimacy class. I don't know if you're taking it for N.E.W.T.s but if you want to join us then -"

"I'd love to," she immediately interjected.

"Really?" That was easier than I thought it was going to be.

She nodded, "I don't know anyone beside you and Lily who are taking Arthimacy this year. Well not anyone who I'm really friendly with anyways. It'd be great to have people to study with and have for moral support."

"Great," I mustered up as much enthusiasm as I could. "I'll go tell Lily."

"Oh and if you see Warner could you send him back to me? He seems to have wondered off."

I nodded, "I will. He's probably cleaning out the food."

"Thanks," she told me with an awkward smile.

I made a beeline for Lily before I had to come up with another awkward conversation. I definitely was going to have my work cut out for me if I planned on surviving any study sessions with her.

"Hey Lils," I greeted my fiery friend. "Do you mind if Sammy joins our Arithmacy sessions?"

"No," she shook her head. "I don't see where that'd be a -"

"Maggie," I felt Sirius' hand on my shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Just one second," I told Lily. "I'll be right back." I turned back to him, allowing him to usher me out into the hallway. "What is it now?" I questioned, trying to maintain a sense of professionalism.

"How did it go with Sammy?" he inquired.

"Fine," I shrugged.

"'Fine'?" he repeated dubiously. "Do you want to expand on that?"

"I told her that I sorry about how weird things were at Mr. Potter's birthday party, told her that I wanted to be friends and invited her to study Arithmacy with Lily and me," I informed him. "Is there a reason that you needed to know this right now? Couldn't you have waited until everyone left to grill me?"

"I'm not grilling you. I'm just trying to make conversation," he told me, holding up his hands defensively.

"And you had to make it now? Over your ex-girlfriend?" I demanded skeptically.

"It's good for us to be seen going off on our own," he explained. "It makes them wonder where we are."

I blinked several times. "You know, that actually makes sense. Since when do you make sense?"

He rolled his eyes, "Don't be mean."

"Is there anything else you want to talk about? Analyzing Warner and Sammy's relationship? Discussing Lily's animosity towards Potter? What else can I do for you?"

"Merlin, you're cranky today. I'm just trying to talk to you. I thought you wanted me to be more polite!" he exclaimed.

I crossed my arms in front of me, "Okay fine."

"Are you always so hostile?!"

"Are you always so arrogant?!" I shot back.

He groaned, "You're unbearable."

"Well if you try to be less holier-than-you then I might try to be a little nicer," I retorted.

"Deal."

I blinked several times again, "Pardon?"

"If it makes you more civil then fine. I'll try to be less arrogant," he replied.

I stared at him as if he were some sort of robot out of one of those Muggle science fiction movies that my father loved. "Really? You're going to be less arrogant if I'm nicer? You promise?"

"Of course."

"Well okay then," I hesitantly agreed. "I guess that could work."

"Brilliant. Let's go back, shall we? We don't want the rumors to get too far ahead of themselves." He offered me his hand.

I looked at it as if it was poisonous. This was too easy. He'd been fighting me for the past two weeks about everything and suddenly he just wanted to make an agreement out of the blue? What a strange man.

I took his hand, letting him guide me back into the living room. I still wasn't going to hold my breath that he'd suddenly be a whole new (more bearable) person but at least there was a tiny glimmer of hope. I just wasn't sure how long it'd survive.


	7. The Truth About Sirius Black

**A/N: Hello, dear readers! This chapter is in the POV of our dear stalker, Kara, and is written by me, **_**Javalon14**_**, the guest author! I hope you enjoy! I'm certainly having fun reading the story and I know I'll have lots of fun writing the occasional chapter! Geez, that's a lot of exclamation marks. Anyway, enjoy!**

** -J**

I'd gotten a magically enhanced pair of binoculars about a year back, and this was their greatest test yet. I'd only really used them from relatively short distances, around corners and behind bushes and the like. Once I'd even used them from the edges of the Forbidden Forest, watching Remus and his friends as they went for a swim in the lake.

But I wasn't at Hogwarts. It was summer vacation and the Marauders were on the vast estates of Maggie the Ice Cream girl, who was apparently dating Sirius Black, rumor had it, and they were having some sort of party in the house.

I'd heard about it from a friend of Warner's, who was telling one of his friends about it. Or rather, I'd overheard.

I was camped out in a tree, watching the group in the kitchen as they amassed, eating food and drinking what I assumed to be alcohol and behaving of general merriment.

Ah, there was Remus Lupin, standing in the corner and laughing, trying not to spill his drink down his delicious front as he laughed.

If I had been with him I would have spilled it over his front myself, over his bare skin, licking it off his gorgeous, manly, scarred flesh...

Damn, Sirius and Maggie were in the way. I could still see some of Remus's beautiful hair, but Sirius had wrapped his arms around an escaping Maggie and they were laughing as Sirius, pulled her body into his. The boys around them were definitely changing something. They had that look about them, the one I'd seen during Quidditch matches or times when James Potter and Sirius Black tormented that Slytherin, Snivelly... Snape. Snape, that was his actual name. It was hard to remember when I really only ever heard the cruel nicknames of Black and Potter with any sort of frequency.

Sirius's mouth went to her neck and Maggie squirmed uncomfortably. What were they wanting him to do? I would have thought they'd have wanted the couple to make out or something.

Was Sirius secretly a vampire?

That would have been a twist, and sort of a good explanation of everything, really. His magnetic ability to draw women to him, the way they never complained when he love them and left him...

It would even explain that bird he'd been with in fourth year who mysteriously disappeared...

All right, so they said she moved to New Zealand, but I wasn't buying it. Who moved to New Zealand, anyway? And in the middle of a school year. It was too off for my tastes.

But Sirius Black as a vampire, that made a lot of sense.

The next thing that came to mind, though, that put the vampire theory into question was the fact that Maggie didn't seem to be enjoying herself. I'd never seen someone as they got bit by a vampire, though, so I wasn't sure if that was normal or not for the victim, even under the spell. Or did the spell break once they were bit?

I would have to pay better attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I decided as the pair finally got out of the way. There was something going on with them that I hadn't satisfactorily explained, and it could be useful in getting Remus to myself.

Ah, yes, there, they'd moved and I could see Remus again, and he seemed somewhat disapproving at whatever Sirius was doing with Maggie, but it really didn't matter because his disapproving face was almost prettier than his typical face, which I had dubbed 'primary face'. I loved primary face too, of course, but the disapproving face gave him this line in his forehead that was just beautiful, wonderful, and I wanted to kiss it.

Well, I wanted to kiss all of him. But one thing at a time. At that moment, I was deciding which part of the thin line I would want to kiss first.

And then the thin line went away as he started to laugh and there were small lines around his mouth that I couldn't make out very well with the binoculars, but I knew they were there because I'd seen them plenty of other times. They were just a part of him laughing.

All right, so I'd heard it all before. I was creepy, a stalker, had issues. Whatever.

I would challenge my critics to find one girl who hadn't at least wanted to do exactly what I was doing with whatever guy they liked. I was just the only girl I knew with the guts to actually do something about it.

I wasn't crazy, I'd told others and myself dozens of times. I was just determined, and I mean, hello? Remus Lupin as hot enough to drive any girl to desperate measures.

I liked to picture him in my bed, covered in various delicious foods, at my mercy, and worshiping me.

All right, so I didn't always picture him worshiping me, because it was a bit difficult to picture, but it was a nice thought when I could conjure it up.

At any rate, I was trying to focus on the beautiful curve of his lips when the whole group decided, apparently, that they were going to a different room of the house. I growled, angry, and heard some woodland creature scurrying away from my perch at the sound.

The people in the house were moving out of the kitchen to the back corner of the house, so I scrambled to try to follow them as stealthily as possibly, binoculars in hand, searching for a window with their faces visible. I groaned, finding that the woods behind the house basically didn't exist. I was going to have to be a lot further from the house.

So I decided to risk being in the bushes right next to the house and peeking up periodically into the sitting room, although it wasn't my specialty. It was easier to be caught at close range, harder to come up with reasons to be in the bushes than to be in the trees with binoculars. I could have been bird watching or something.

Most people don't bird watch in bushes next to houses that aren't theirs or the house of anyone they actually are acquainted with.

Still, I didn't have a lot of choice, so I scrambled into the bush and saw that it wasn't the whole group of the party in the sitting room, but rather, Maggie and the Marauders.

It made no difference to me, so long as Remus was in the room. Which he was. So I stayed in my bush, adjusted my binoculars, and smiled to myself as I realized that I was able to clearly see much more of his physique from this spot than I had in the last.

Perhaps the bush wasn't so bad after all.

I licked my lips absently, watching Remus as he bent across the chair to grab a book off Maggie's family's shelf. I was so engrossed with the beautiful view that it took me a moment to realize that the window was cracked open and a bit of sound was carrying out to my bush.

Still making sure I kept Remus Lupin in sight, I strained my ears to hear their conversation, deciding that knowing what they were saying could only help me in the future.

The Marauders had a lot of secrets, and secrets always came in handy to know.

"-did I do?" Maggie was asking them.

"Fine," James said. "Fine. Maybe not as well as my dad's birthday part, but well enough for the audience, that's for sure."

Sirius said something I couldn't hear, and Maggie lifted her hand to her neck, eyes bulging.

Was he calling out her soul or something?

I leaned forward a bit in my bush, curious. I'd never seen a vampire at work before. I'd never really paid much attention in class when we'd learned about them, either. I was far more interested in werewolves, which had paid off.

Remus's mother was a werewolf.

It was the only explanation for the fact that he was gone once a month around the full moon, the only explanation for his mother's 'illness', his 'furry little problem' the Marauders always joked about, and even the fact that they joked about how Remus knew all about werewolves when they thought no one could hear.

They could think themselves as clever as they wanted, but I was pretty clever too, and someday I was going to prove to them just how clever.

But as much as I wanted Remus, I did have some morals. I wasn't about to hold his mother's condition over his head in order to get him to date me.

But if Sirius was a vampire... that was something I could use to my advantage. Especially if he was stupid and self-assured enough to show off and parade it in front of all his friends.

Maybe they were hypnotized, though.

Well, if I remembered correctly, even the most powerful memory charms could be overcome, so that must be true of the effects of creatures like vampires. I would point that out when I went to blackmail them.

I zoomed in on her neck, looking for the bite marks I so hoped to find.

Instead of puncture wounds, however, I saw something that looked a lot like a hickey. I frowned, clearing up the image, hoping it would change what I saw, but no avail.

Maybe it was some sort of enchantment? I'd heard of ones that could change the appearance of something. Maybe vampires had some sort of enchantment so that only other vampires could see the bite marks?

That would explain all the hickeys I'd seen on his various 'girlfriends' and whatnot.

So why hadn't he taken over the school with his vampire slaves yet? Shouldn't Dumbledore be warned? Or did he already know?

Oh, Merlin, was Dumbledore a vampire too?

Sirius was saying something, running his fingers on the supposed hickey and Maggie gave him an annoyed look.

Wait, that didn't make sense. If he'd turned her into a vampire or even enslaved her or SOMETHING (I really wasn't sure how this was supposed to work at all), then why would she be upset with him.

Maybe it was just a hickey?

Sirius was a lot less interesting as a boy with hormones than he'd been as a vampire, so I turned my binoculars back to Remus.

The love of my life was frowning.

"This is a bit exhausting," Maggie was saying.

"The alternative can be more exhausting, I assure you," James snarled.

"Now, James, there's no reason we shouldn't be polite to her," Remus said firmly. "Especially when she's being so cooperative."

"I haven't forgotten that stunt she tried to pull with Lily," James said.

She and Lily were doing stunts? What, was she trying to convince Lily to join a circus with her or something? I couldn't think of another reason why James would be opposed to Lily doing things that probably showed off her body. I was missing something...

They were talking, but I couldn't hear what it was, so they were moving into the next room, into the center of the house. I knew there were no windows, so I settled in my bush, took out my wand for light, and a notepad and quill to start sorting things out.

First, Sirius and Maggie didn't seem entirely comfortable with each other. This could be part of just starting out a relationship, but nothing could be overlooked. Every detail mattered, so I made a note of it.

Sirius bit Maggie's neck. That could just be a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, a sign of possession or affection or passion or whatever that was supposed to represent. It could also be a sign that Sirius was a vampire. I still wasn't sure exactly how the evidence stood on that, but a bit of research could tell me whether I was on the right track. I was certainly fond of the idea that he was a vampire, and it was something I could hold over their heads.

James seemed to be... judging Maggie. I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but he was evaluating her in some way. I couldn't make any sense out of that, so I made a note of it and moved on.

Maggie and Lily had done some sort of trick... Or something like that. It had made James very upset, so much so that he seemed to still be harboring some sort of distrust of Maggie.

Distrust...

Sirius had gotten with Maggie rather quickly when Sirius's previous relationship had broken up. Perhaps James was suspecting her of being prepared for the rebound, like she wanted something from him? But what could Maggie want so badly that she'd be risking Marauder wrath to get it?

I then went over everything I knew about Maggie.

Gryffindor, same year as the Marauders, friend to Ann Marie and Lily, had at least one younger sibling... what was his name... Leverett?

If I remembered correctly, he was worse than unpopular. He'd had a pretty rough first year, teased constantly. It was sort of funny to think of one of the Marauders dating the sibling of such a... wait a moment.

What if she didn't want to date them? What if she was doing it for her brother? The Marauders stuck up for their own... look at Peter!

So what was my theory?

She saw an opening when Sirius broke up with Sami, which she knew about because she worked at the ice cream place where _everything_ happened over the summer. She decided that the best way to make her brother's life easier was to find some way to make Sirius date her, to get the Marauders to protect him...

It was perfect. It made perfect sense.

Except...

How did she get Sirius to agree to date her?

I mean, no offense to Maggie, or anything, but she was no Lily Evans, and she didn't have half my cunning. There was no way she'd put in the time and energy and devotion to know Sirius half as well as I knew Remus.

I bet she didn't even know how often he clipped his toenails.

Amateur.

Well, if she came out and told him, she would have had to have made it worth his while somehow... Maybe... maybe it had something to do with his ex.

But how quickly they got together made Maggie look like a rebound, which made Sirius look like a ridiculous, jealous ex. Which... which...

Which he was?

It was the only reason I could come up with for why Sirius would have agreed to go out with Maggie.

And if that were the case, it was starting to make a lot more sense. Dating his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Whether he made Warner or Sami jealous, that was double the chance of breaking those two apart, and if Sirius still wanted her...

Well, the last thing either of them would want would be for anyone to figure it out, which I obviously just had done. I smiled to myself and adjusted how I sat in my bush.

All that was left was to figure out a way to hold my newfound knowledge over their heads and get Remus to go on a date with me.

And to research Vampires.


	8. Black Walnut

It was like black walnut ice cream. I'm allergic to walnuts. They make my throat swell so I can't breathe and it induces panic.

I blinked several times at James excited face. "Do you want to repeat that, Potter?" I questioned as he practically bounced with excitement.

"We're having a sleepover!" he told me enthusiastically.

"No," I answered shortly.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "But it's a brilliant idea!"

"It is not," I rejected. "I can hardly handle you blokes for a few hours. Why would I want you to spend the night?"

"It's not just going to be just us, stupid. We're inviting everyone. Correction, we've already invited everyone. Lily, Tessa, Renee, Sammy, Herrick, Aubrey, Marlene, Creswell, and Greer. Remus already sent out the invitations. I'm going out to get refreshments. You're on cleaning patrol with Sirius. And Peter is... Well I have no idea where he is. He's just around somewhere. Anyways, everyone's showing up around 7. Make sure the house isn't embarrassing by then."

I grabbed the closest thing I could and threw it at his stupid head. It was a box of tissues. "This is your emergency?! This is why you made me shut down the shop early?! You stupid -"

"Oi, Mags, be nice to him," Sirius interjected lazily. "You know how excited he gets with himself at the prospect of spending time with Evans. He can't help himself."

"Well I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to use me as a middleman to get you opportunities to stalk Lily. She's my friend and I don't want her to start being afraid to spend time with me because you're always around to hump her leg," I told him bitterly.

He looked appalled by my accusation. He opened his mouth several times to think of the right thing to say. "Sirius, bite her."

I rolled my eyes, "So you're just going to make him bite me whenever I say something you don't like?"

"Yep."

"Sirius, if you bite me then you're going to be in a lot of trouble," I informed Sirius warningly.

"Don't worry, love, I'm not going to leave anymore marks on you unless I absolutely need to," Sirius assured me.

"Good idea," I agreed.

"Sirius, you're no fun," James complained.

"Don't we have guests coming in like two hours?" I pointed out. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for them?"

He eyed me suspiciously, "Fine. If you find Peter then put him to work."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I waved him off. "Go get your booze."

"That reminds me, you need to stop being such a prude with the bottle. No one'll ever believe Sirius is dating a teetotaler," he informed me.

"Well he dated Sammy, didn't he?" I reminded him.

Sirius grinned, "Oh, she didn't used to turn her nose up at Firewhiskey. That didn't happen until she started dating Herrick."

"Sammy used to drink?" The idea seemed absolutely ludicrous to me. This was Sammy we were talking about. She seemed like such a responsible buzzkill.

Sirius laughed and nodded, "Oh yeah. She could be a real wild woman."

"But she was still your actual girlfriend," I pointed out. "If she got pissed then the worst thing that she could blab about is you two's sex life. I mean, it's weird to think she got plastered but I can't do that. There are worst things I could ramble about."

"But you wouldn't blab about you two," James told me confidently.

"But I've never been drunk before," I admitted. "I don't know what I'd say or do."

"You've never been drunk before?" Sirius sounded shocked at the idea.

"We definitely need to pop your alcohol cherry," James breathed excitedly.

My jaw dropped incredulously. "Git!" I exclaimed, chucking a wooden coaster at his useless head.

"Ow!" he complained, rubbing the growing red spot on his forehead.

"Do I need to separate you two or can you try to get a long?" Sirius inquired, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, you two act like five year olds sometimes."

"It's not my fault she's so touchy," James shrugged.

"You need to think before you speak and Maggie, you need to think before you throw things," Sirius informed us. "James, go get the food and booze before you upset her more."

"Fine but you need to get to work cleaning," James agreed reluctantly. "We don't want to scare anyone away."

I looked around the living room. Walby was always really good at keeping the house clean. That was the whole point of having a house-elf. "Yeah because this place's a hot mess," I drawled.

"I'm glad we see eye to eye," he nodded curtly. "I'll be back in an hour. Good luck." He gave us some sort of odd salute before stalking off to his contraband supplier.

"So how exactly is this place a mess?" I asked Sirius curiously after James was gone.

"It's not," he assured me. "This is just part of his routine. He gets anxious whenever he hosts something. He just needs us to go through the motions so he'll calm down. If we pretend to clean then he'll accept it as clean. It's a psychological thing so just humor him."

"Have I told you lately that your best mate is a piece of work? And why didn't he freak out last time he threw one of these things?"

"Because he was too busy panicking about you and Evans," he replied matter-of-factly.

I nodded. Panicking about the "love of his life" turning against him was probably more important to him than panicking about a nonexistent mess. "So where exactly does Potter think we're going to sleep a million people?"

"It's not a million people," he corrected. "It's just a few close personal friends."

I looked at him dubiously, "Dirk, Ben, Tessa, and Bertram are all 'close personal friends'?"

"Of course they are!"

I rolled my eyes, "Liar. They're the extras that you keep around to try and keep things looking casual. It's the same reason you invite Marlene, Warner, and Renee over. They're the buffer you use to try to make Sammy and Lily more comfortable."

"They are not!" he sounded almost indignant at the suggestion. "Tessa's a Quidditch mate with James. Dirk and Ben are our roommates. And Bertram - Well, we've just known him for forever."

"And I would believe that if your reason for inviting them if this were a social gathering. This is a sales pitch. You're trying to get Sammy to buy that we're dating and Lily's been invited because Potter would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with Lily. Face it, everyone else are just extra in our little act."

He looked at me for a moment before his expression softened. "Well you're just a ball of sunshine, aren't you?" he teased. "You know, women usually wait until middle age before they get that cynical."

"Well personally I want to become a professional cynic before it's time for me to get a herd of cats."

"Is a group of cats a herd? I thought it was a pack," he commented.

"No, I'm pretty sure that's just for dogs and wolves," I shook my head. "A pride maybe? I know a group of lions is called a pride."

"Well I assume you're planning on having house cats instead of lions," he pointed out. "A flock maybe?"

"Tribe?"

"Clan?"

"Family?"

"Clutch?"

"Crowd?"

"You know, I have absolutely no idea what a group of cats is called," he admitted. "I'm not really a cat person."

"Me neither," I agreed. "I only plan to get them because it's a stereotypical sign of spinsterhood."

"Then why is there a kitten staring at you?" he questioned.

I did a sweeping glance around the living room. "The brown tabby on the stairs? That's Nina's. Do you remember how I promised her a kitten for her birthday if she didn't tell my parents about you? Well that's my end of the bargain. Her name's Carly," explained. "She's Nina's pride and joy. I'm actually surprised that she let her out of her sight."

"He's kind of cute," he granted conservatively.

"She's creepy," I snorted in reply. "Her eyes follow you everywhere. It's like she's secretly plotting our deaths."

"Hey, don't overdo it with your cynicism," he jokingly warned me. "You might pull a muscle."

"I'll try to be a bit more careful," I assured him playfully. "So anyways, where exactly does Potter think she's going to put all of these people? You never answered my question."

"He's putting us blokes in the living room and the girls in the den," he explained.

"Is there enough room in the den for them? That's like five girls in the den," I pointed out. "Where does he expect them to sleep? On the desk?"

He shrugged, "Apparently he has some brilliant plan. I know better than asking for details. He'd probably making me some sort diagram if I did."

"How did I not notice how neurotic he is before?" I shook my head in disbelief.

"He's pretty good at hiding it. You should feel privileged that he's put his guard down enough to show it around you."

"Oh you're totally right," I replied sarcastically. "Wait here while I go and put this momentous occasion in my scrapbook."

He rolled his eyes with a smile, "Just shut up and pretend to clean something."

James returned nearly half an hour later, pulling a toy wagon full of firewhiskey, butterbeer, and mountains of food. He immediately congratulated Sirius and I on our cleaning job before putting us to work in the kitchen. I was in charge of making room in the refrigerator for all of butterbeer and firewhiskey while Sirius was charged with helping James organize the food into different piles based on sustenance levels. That bloke was absolutely neurotic.

All of James' guests arrived barely after he and Sirius stopped arguing about whether Peppermint Toads were more substantial than Chocolate Frogs. Technically they might have been my guests due to the fact that they were being hosted at my house but I knew better than to think that. James didn't know how to be anything but the host.

There were some serious advantages to not being the host. I could watch with amusement as he was charged with being a social butterfly, flitting back and forth between the guests. I had only been given one task for the entire party: Be as nauseatingly cute and affectionate with Sirius as possible. This task wasn't nearly as difficult as it would have been a week earlier.

Sirius and I had worked out a system. We sit next to each other off in the corner somewhere, I'd let out a few well-placed giggles, and we'd share a few kisses if we thought that anyone was watching us too intently. It was well choreographed with little to no awkwardness. It was strictly business that happened to involve the exchange of saliva.

"And Maggie, can you try to be a little more charming," James implored before his guests arrived. "Can you try for the whole 'I'm so enamoured that the world is sunshine and kittens' attitude?"

"I like it when she's feisty," Sirius commented. "She's more believable then."

"No, sweet and doe-eyed is better," James argued. "She's more believably in an adoring relationship then."

"But she's not believable then," Sirius pointed out. "It's too fake."

"So is your relationship," James retorted.

"Don't I get a say in how I act?" I questioned.

"No," James automatically replied.

"Of course you do," Sirius assured me, giving James a pointed look. "How do you want to play it?"

"Maybe a bit of both," I answered. "Some adorableness and all James' kittens and sunshine but there's still gotta be some sarcasm. I mean, unless I was on some sort of drugs and so far in love that I didn't even remember my own name then there's no way that I'd completely ignore all of Aubrey, Creswell and Greer's stupidity. It just wouldn't happen."

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard," James complained. "No one'll believe it."

"I'm sorry but where are you getting your infinite relationship knowledge?" I inquired sharply, annoyed by his incessant complaining. "Just because you're dating Lily in your fantasies doesn't mean that you know anything about relationships."

"Oh so you've been in so many relationships, haven't you?" he drawled sarcastically.

"Compared to your zero count, yeah," I replied.

He huffed incredulously, "I have too been in a relationship!"

"Elvira Latson in Third Year doesn't count," I informed him. "You were only dating her to try and make Lily jealous. You broke up with three hours after asking her out because you found out that Lily wasn't getting jealous."

"You're right," Sirius agreed with me. "I hadn't even thought about it. James, you've got absolutely no experience with women."

James began to turn almost fuchsia with embarrassment. "Well Black, at least I've never been dumped for another bloke!"

"Yeah but at least he's had a girlfriend to be dumped by," I snorted, causing Sirius to gauff.

"And you, Nolan! I don't think that your two week relationship with Herrick exactly makes you an expert either!" James snapped defensively.

"Well first of all, two weeks is a hell of alot longer than three hours and second of all, I haven't just dated Warner," I informed him matter-of-factly.

"Wait, you actually have a real love life," James sounded almost shocked at the idea.

"Had," I corrected him bitterly. "It's very much dead now."

"Love lives don't just die," James argued.

"Well they're called 'lives', aren't they? Logically that would mean that eventually they're going to end up dead," I rolled my eyes.

"Alright then what killed it?" James pressed. "Was it a bloke?"

"We're not having this conversation," I refused. "We need to get ready for people to show up. They should get here anytime now."

"What? No! You can't tease me with a juicy story and then just take it away!" he complained.

Sirius and I rolled our eyes at each other. "You sound like a old woman," Sirius informed him. "Shouldn't you be more worried about your own love life rather than gossiping about someone else's?"

"Exactly. Thank you, Sirius," I told Sirius sincerely, appreciating his support. "Now Potter, stop harassing me or I'll tell Lily about that one story about you and the garden gnome."

"What story about me and the garden gnome?" James questioned.

"Well I haven't made it up yet but I'm going to guess that it's going to be hardly humiliating degrading to you. Now sod off," I told him as sweetly as I could.

Sirius snickered as James scowled. "See, this is much more believable than her fawning over me," Sirius pointed out with a good-natured grin.

"Oh shut it," James muttered.

He continued to sulk until the guests began to arrive and he turned back into his usual arrogant, charming self, flitting around the room like some sort of intoxicated hummingbird. There were a lot of things that I disliked about him but I had to admit that I was a bit envious of how fast he could snap back from a lot of things.

Sirius and I weren't being nearly as social. We were in the "antisocial" stage of our "relationship" where we were too busy being all over each other to acknowledge the world. Merlin, relationships were exhausting and this wasn't even a real one. If I'd actually been dating Sirius then I would have probably needed copious amounts of naps just to get me through.

"You know, James isn't the kind of guy to let things go," Sirius informed me as he mindlessly went through the motions of brushing his fingers along my shoulders.

"Yeah, I kind of caught that after he spent the last five years chasing after a girl who'd rather be with a Giant Squid than him," I replied.

He chuckled and nodded, "True. He's just a very persistent guy. He doesn't know how to give up on things."

"Is this your way of saying that he's going to act like a gossiping old woman around me until he gets the dirt he wants?" I inquired.

"Yeah, pretty much," he nodded again. "He's going to hound you until you tell him what he wants to know."

"Well he can harass me all he wants. He seems to be pretty good at that. I'm not telling him anything," I replied confidently.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. He'll hold onto it for years. One day he'll stop harassing you just to try and catch you off-guard later."

"Seriously? Honestly, that bloke has no life," I rolled my eyes.

"I think it helps keep his mind off of Evans," he commented. "It might not be healthy but I'll take it over him pining for her."

"You know, he's kind of pathetic," I pointed out. "It's like the boy goes from one obsession to another."

"Yeah, he's -" he began to agree.

"Oi, Pads, we need you for, you know, that special thing," James called out to him from the kitchen.

He looked momentarily confused before a look of realization dawned upon him. "Oh, that special thing. I'll be right there."

"Am I supposed to understand what you lot are talking about?" I questioned.

"Nope," he replied, getting to his feet. "I'll be right back."

"Well I'll try not to get into _too _much trouble while you're gone," I joked sarcastically.

He gave me a mockingly serious look, "I'll hold you to that."

I rolled my eyes as he walked away to his Marauders business. With him gone I no longer had an excuse for why I wasn't being social. Without him around I suddenly needed to socialize, which was not my favorite thing to do. Why did James need him anyways?

I tentatively got to my feet, preparing to go on my rounds. Talking to the people I used to be friendly with in my Pre-Marauders days was harder now that I had to lie to them whenever we spoke. Why did James have to always throw these things? And why at my house? His father didn't seem like the kind to turn down a party. Then there might not have been as firewhiskey in that party but I didn't mind that idea.

"Fancy seeing you unattached to Black," Lily joke teasingly as I made my way to her, Marlene, and Renee. They were definitely the more approachable group. Warner and Sammy had found a corner of their own and Bertram, Dirk, Ben, and Tessa were swapping Quidditch stories. The room was obviously divided between the single girls, single guys (and Tessa), and the couples. Was this a one time thing or were these divisions always there and I'd never noticed?

I feigned a blush. I was getting uncomfortably good at lying. "I figured I shouldn't ignore you guys all night. You know, to make sure that Potter hasn't been hounding you too much."

"Actually he surprisingly hasn't been too bad," Lily told me. "He's been a bit distracted."

"Aw, is someone put out that they're not being fawned over?" Renee teased, causing Lily to scowl and Marlene and I to laugh.

"Not at all," she replied breezily."I hope he stays distracted until graduation."

"Oh don't even," Renee scoffed. "You'll be looking for an ego trip before graduation."

"Excuse me? What exactly are you insinuating?" she questioned, sounding almost shocked by the suggestion.

"Potter's been barking up your tree for five years. He worships the ground you walk on," Renee pointed out. "You wouldn't know what to do with yourself if he stopped fawning over you."

"That's not true," she insisted. "I'd love if if he'd leave me alone or at least treats me like everyone else."

"Trust me, Lily, you really wouldn't like that," Marlene told her. "Being treated like everyone else by him isn't that great. I mean, it's Potter we're talking about."

"Yeah, he can be a bit of a berk," I agreed.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be friendly with your boyfriend's mates?" Renee teased.

"Have you met Sirius' mates? That's harder than it looks," I pointed out. "And I play nice when he's around so I should at least get some credit for that. I mean, even that's a pretty tall order."

"Yeah but what if -" Marlene began to question.

"Oi, Nolan, tell your boyfriend we're out of firewhiskey!" Dirk called to me from his Quidditch-themed huddle.

I rolled my eyes in reply. Apparently dating someone made you their owl service. "Well that's my cue. A girlfriend's work is never done. I'll see you lot later."

I left for the kitchen, knowing that I wouldn't be able to find any peace until I passed on the message about the shortage of alcohol. How could they possibly have drank that much anyways? Correction: How were they still standing if they drank that much?

"Hey Potter -" I called out as I entered the kitchen. No one was there. "Hello?" They must have gone outside, seeking the isolation for their marauding. I had no intention of stepping on on their Marauder whatever. I just wanted to tell them to go on a liquor run.

I stepped outside, closing the screen door behind me. It was nice out for a July night. The air wasn't humid or stifling. The heat wave that'd hit that week had thankfully moved on.

I approached the huddled group at the edge of the patio. There was a little gray critter scurrying along the pavement. Ugh rats. I hated their beady little eyes. We'd never really had a problem with them at my house so as long as it was outside I wouldn't make any plans to club it to death.

The huddle murmured amongst themselves as the rat scampered around their feet. How could they not notice or care? I liked to think I had a high tolerance for them but if it was that close to my feet then it was as good as dead.

"Wormtail, you can turn back now," I heard Remus tell on of the others. Which one of them was "Wormtail" anyways? They all had such weird nicknames.

I didn't want them to think I was listening in so I cleared my throat to announce my presence. "Oi, Potter, we need -" I cut off, noticing the rat on the pavement beginning to grow. Its tail disappeared, the silvery fur was replaced with colorless tufts of hair, and the black beady eyes became watery and blue. Apparently Peter as Wormtail.

The Marauders looked at me like I'd just watched them cover up a murder. It actually reminded me of old mob movies that my dad used to watch. This was a lot like the look that the mob bosses would give a loose end before they had them killed. This look was the reason that police had to search rivers for dead bodies.

"Erm we're out of firewhiskey," I lamely informed them, already envisioning them with fedoras and tommy guns. I turned on my heel, practically sprinting back into the house. What the hell had I just witnessed?

Peter Pettigrew had been a rat. He didn't use a spell or a potion to Transfigure himself back into a human so that could only mean one thing: He was an Animagus. We'd learned about them in Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration class. She herself was the youngest registered Animagus. If Peter had been born an Animagus then he would have been registered. Considering how he wasn't registered and how secretive the Marauders were about it, he must have been an illegal Animagus. That kind of magic was way behind him. He was a bit of a moron. The others could maybe - The others! They must have been behind this. Remus, Sirius, and James were easily some of the most intelligent people in our Year. They must have been the brains behind it. They wouldn't just come up with the way to become Animagi and then just have Peter do it. I mean, having someone who could turn into something as small as rat would be helpful, but they'd want to do it too. The Marauders were Animagi and illegal ones at that.

My head was pounding. The more answers I seemed to come up with, the more questions came with it. Why did they do it? How did they do it? When did they do it? What were they willing to do to shut me up? Honestly, what kind of person thinks "I'm bored today so I'm going to make myself an Animagus, even though it's dangerous and could possibly get me sent to Azkaban"?!

What was going to do?! The looks from didn't exactly make me feel safe about having a chat over tea and biscuits! I'd unearthed a Marauder secret and a big one by the look of things. I hadn't meant to! It was completely accidental. It wasn't like I'd gone snooping around, sleuthing for clues. I just wanted to tell them that the Firewhiskey was gone. I'd just been doing what I was told and now it was looking like I was going to be sleeping with the fishes!

Maybe I could plead innocence. Maybe I could promise to never speak of what I saw and they'd have mercy on me. Sirius seemed to like me. Oh but James! Why'd I have to make all those jokes at his expense?! Would being mates with Lily be enough to save me from him?

"Maggie? You look pale," Lily made me nearly jump out of my skin. She was watching me from the kitchen doorway. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing wrong!" The high-pitch squeak in my voice said otherwise. I coughed, trying to shake off the squeakiness in my voice. "I'm just tired. I think I'm just going to go to bed. Work really took it out of me today. I'll see you in the morning."

"But it's barely nine," she pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, but I really don't think I can keep my eyes open," I told her with a fake yawn. "Night." I ducked out of the kitchen before she could question me anymore.

My heart was racing as I sprinted up the stairs. My bedroom had a lock on it that could at least delay my impending doom. Maybe jamming a chair under the doorknob would be a good idea too, just in cause one of them knew how to pick a lock.

I holed myself in my room, locking and barricading the door. I needed to pack. I was moving to Siberia. I'd have to take Lev and Nina with me and just leave the country. We'd have to change our names. I'd always been partial to "Lea". I could be Lea Wanesworth, totally innocent Russian schoolgirl with no idea who the Marauders even were.

There was suddenly a loud banging noise and my body automatically tensed, preparing to dive under the protection of my bed.

"Nolan, open the damn door!" James demanded loudly.

"I'm sleeping! Go away!" I replied weakly.

"Open. The. Door," he commanded.

"No thank you. Come again later."

"Nolan!"

"Go away now please."

"I swear, Nolan, if you don't open that door right now then I'll break it down!" he threatened.

I looked to the window, seriously considering making a run for it. I'd really been intimidated by the Marauders but this was an overwhelming first time. Individually they weren't very frightening but together they were more threatening.

"Prongs, you're not helping," I heard Sirius say. "That's not going to make her do anything."

"Prongs"? What were all their nicknames? Prongs, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Moony? Peter's nickname, Wormtail, was obviously a reference to his Animagus form. Were the rest of the nicknames for the same reason? I'd always just assumed they were inside jokes or sexual references (I mean, Wormtail? Come on). What kind of animal would make people call you "Moony" or even "Prongs" for that matter?

"Well what do suggest I do then?" James demanded. "Do you think that if we offer her bloody cookies then she'll let us in?"

"She's more likely to than when you're threatening her," Sirius pointed out to him. "We need to be rational about this."

"'Rational'?!" he scoffed, almost repulsed by the suggestion. "Do you have any idea what she knows? How much she could piece together now? How am I supposed to be rational when she could ruin everything?!"

What was there to piece together? Was the fact that they were illegal Animagi only one piece to a puzzle or what?

"It was just an accident," I could hear Remus try to rationalize with him. "She didn't mean to do it on purpose."

Remus and Sirius were trying to reason with him? That must have meant that he was the only one who was potentially homicidal, which was considerably less intimidating. Peter might have been murderous too but he wasn't nearly as threatening as the others.

"I don't care," James replied. "She's a risk now." He banged back on my door. "Nolan, open this door right now or I'm going to break it down!"

If he was the only one threatening my life then I no longer had any reason for a barricade. I mean, he threatened me generally several times a day and I was still breathing.

I began to push my wardrobe back away from the door as I heard rushed whispering on the other side of it. I took my chair underneath the doorknob, no longer convinced I was in any danger.

"I'm coming in!" he announced as I unlocked the door.

"Potter, don't bother," I began to tell him as I opened the door. "It's already -"

BOOM! I felt like I'd just been hit by a stampeding Hippogriff. First I felt a wave of confusion. Why was I flying through the air? Then I felt a horrendous pain throughout the right side of my face. Apparently I'd landed. Then the pain was replaced with the feeling that all the mass had flown out of my head. Was my head floating?

"Potter!" I vaguely remember someone exclaim.

I tried to focus my eyes on what was happening but it hurt my brain to try and focus on anything in front of me. I could hazily feel someone shake me but my eyes were too busy wandering to see who did it.

"We need to get her to the hospital!" someone insisted, their voice sounding like they were trying to speak underwater.

"She's fine," some else who vaguely sounded as if they were a robot out of a sci-fi Muggle movie.

"She's bleeding!" the underwater voice pointed out. "Look at her eyes! She's definitely got some sort of head injury! You scrambled her brain!"

"Well there wasn't much brain to scramble in the first place!" the robot voice retorted.

"She needs a Healer," a new voice that sounded somewhat like a mixture the robot and underwater voices. "She's hurt."

"Why is there an underwater robot in my room?" I inquired, trying to focus on my hands. My fingers seemed to be appearing and disappearing right in front of me.

"Okay, fine," the land robot agreed. "Let's take her to the hospital."

"Maggie, can you stand up?" the underwater non-robot questioned.

"Aren't I standing?" I questioned. "What happened? Did I fall down?"  
"You got knocked down," the underwater non-robot told me. "I'm going to help you up, alright? Give me your hand."

"I have hands?" I asked curiously.

"Merlin, she sounds like she's on fairydust," the land robot commented.

"Yeah well who's bloody fault is that?" the underwater non-robot snapped. "If you hadn't assaulted her then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Oh just shut up and help her up," the land robot grunted.

It took both of the robots and the non-robot to get me off the ground. First, I had to be persuaded to let the robots to touch me. Then they had to make up for my lack of ability to remember how to move. Eventually they managed to pull me from the floor. The next part of the evening was a bit of a blur. I vaguely remember being dragged out of my bedroom and being carted down the stairs. Lily might have asked a lot of questions about what was wrong with me and they might have accidentally hit my head on the fireplace while they tried to Floo me to the Hospital.

After that I faintly remember the Healers at St. Mungo's examining me while I accused them of trying to steal my shoes. After a bit of medication and some placating on the part of the Marauders I managed to get treated. I couldn't remember anything that happened after the potions kicked in. It was like I fell asleep in a hospital examination room and woke up back in my bed. This time, however, was different from usually waking up because this time I wasn't the only one in my bed.

I groaned, trying to figure out why someone was taking up half of my bed. "What the hell?" I murmured, rubbing my tender head.

"She's awake!" a thankfully normal sounding voice announced. It was nice to hear people who didn't sound like they were underwater or robots.

I jumped at the sudden noise, bumping my head on my headboard. "Ow," I complained, rubbing my abused head.

"Damn it, Potter," I could hear Sirius growl from next to me. "Haven't you given her enough head injuries for one day?"

Suddenly I remembered what I was lying in bed with a headache, surrounded by the Marauders. I'd found out a secret I wasn't supposed to know. So, naturally, I did what any person in that situation would do. I lied. "What happened?"

"Well what happened was –" James began to explain.

"Shut up," Sirius snapped. He turned back to me, "Maggie, what do you last remember?"

"You left me in the living room," I lied, trying to believably come up with a good last memory. "I was going to go talk to Lily."

"You and James were playing a little rough and he went a bit overboard," he lied expertly.

"It was an accident," James assured me.

"You almost killed her!" he accused.

"Wait, what?" I inquired.

"You had internal bleeding," he informed me gruffly. "If we hadn't taken you to the hospital when we did then you'd be dead by morning."

I blinked several times. I'd never thought it'd been that horrible of damage. "It was that bad?"

"Potter, I think you should leave," he announced, being more gruff about my almost accident death than I thought he'd be, especially since it was his best mate.

"But – But it was an accident," James pointed out weakly.

"Leave," he repeated stubbornly.

"But –" James looked crestfallen at being dismissed.

"Let's go, James," Remus interjected. "We'll talk to this in the morning."

"But…" James desperately tried to reverse Remus' ruling.

"Just go," I interrupted. "Remus is right. We'll talk in the morning." This was probably the first time I'd referred to Remus by his first name in front of the Marauder but it seemed like the right thing to do.

James shot Sirius one last look, pleading for him to understand. When Sirius only stared back at him coldly, James seemed to take the hint and accept that he wasn't going to do any good that night. "Well... 'night, I guess," he awkwardly bade us before Remus shuffled him out of the door.

"You need to forgive him tomorrow," I informed Sirius when we were alone.

"He nearly killed you!" he pointed out, sounding insulted that I even suggest forgiveness.

"Yeah, which means it's my job to be brassed off at him," I told him. "I'm supposed to be the one fighting with Potter. If I have to keep the peace between you two then the world will likely to end. He's an overenthusiastic idiot with no concept of consequences but he's also your friend. Forgive him tomorrow or I'll make him give me another head injury."

He scowled at me, "That's not fair."

"Well life isn't fair, love. Get over it," I informed him, settling back into bed and burying myself in my nice, fluffy blankets. "I don't even know why you're angry with him in the first place."

"Because he nearly killed you."

"And?"

"'And'?! And you nearly died!" he exclaimed. "How am I not supposed to be angry?!"

"It was an accident," I pointed out. "And besides, he's your best mate. Just forgive him already."

"Fine," he gruffly agreed.

"Thank you," I told him contently as I turned off my lamp, preparing to go back to bed . "It's hard enough pretending to your girlfriend. I don't know if I could make it believable that I'm dating such a stubborn, brooding bloke."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, adjusting underneath the sheets. "You owe me for this."

"Do I?" I questioned with a yawn, nuzzling my head into the pillow as I rolled away to face away from him.

He yawned in reply, "Yep. We'll discuss payment afterwards. Good night, Maggie."

"Night."

I could feel his arms snugly wrapping around my waist, his chest pressed against my back. My eyes immediately widened. I didn't really think about him laying in bed with me. For some reason it didn't feel weird. This was probably just his instinctive reaction when laying next to a girl. He probably had spent a lot of time cuddled up to Sammy. It'd probably became more second nature with him. Sammy seemed like a snuggler.

I wouldn't necessarily care about Sirius' leftover side effects from his past relationship with Sammy. I wouldn't really even think much of it because I'd already known he had baggage. It was normal. The twisting and turning in my stomach while he touched me and even when he was irrationally overprotective over me wasn't normal. This was not good.


	9. Lemon

Today was like lemon ice cream. It was overwhelming sour.

After my little accidental uncovering of the Marauders' secret, I had to be extra careful not to make them suspicious that I remembered anything. I'd been lucky to get away with persuading them that I didn't know anything about the fact they were Animagi. If they found out I was lying then I'd not only have to deal with the repercussions of knowing the truth but they'd also probably be a bit unhappy about me lying to them. The only way to keep everyone happy and/or calm was for them never to find out that I lied about forgetting that I'd seen Peter turn from a rat back into a human.  
Pretending that I didn't know anything got easier after the first two days. I started to realize that the Marauders really believed me about forgetting everything about Peter after my little head injury. The next big step was making myself push it to the back of my brain so I didn't risk accidentally bringing it up. The next few days were relatively busy, making it easier to focus on other things. Being a Marauder's girlfriend meant being a socialite in ways that I'd never considered being before. It was always parties and get-togethers. If we weren't hanging out at my house then we were going out and exploring Diagon Alley. There never seemed to be a night when I actually got to stay in and just relax. Apparently "relaxation" is a word that the Marauders don't understand.

I don't know if the surplus of social events was a common occurrence that happened every summer or if this crazy schedule was handmade to get Sirius and I out into the world where everyone could marvel at our new "relationship". It might have been James' idea to give illusions about Sirius and I's relationship being solid or whatever. Or he was trying to flaunt it at Sammy. Who knows?

This particular night Ben and Dirk had decided to bring all of us to a pub that Ben's cousin had recently got a job at in Diagon Alley. Apparently his cousin agreed to serve him and all his friends all the drinks we wanted as long as we could pay, despite the fact that most of us were underage.

Everyone seemed to be so excited about the idea, except Lily. She refused to go, claiming that it was unethical. Actually, Sammy seemed a bit apprehensive about the plan too. And I didn't care for the idea. So really all the blokes seemed excited... Plus Tessa, who was practically a bloke. They were excited, though, enough for the rest of us.

"Come on, Mags, try to be a little more excited," Sirius told me with a broad grin as the entire group strolled down Diagon Alley to The Twisted Kitten, the pub where Ben's cousin worked.

"I don't like it," I replied, eyeing James suspiciously. "I think Potter's going to do something stupid."

James scoffed indignantly, "I take offense to that!"

"Maggie, he's my best mate," Sirius pointed out. "What's the worst thing he could do?"  
"You mean, other than give me internal bleeding from a head injury? Hm... Let me see..." I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you forgave me for that!" James exclaimed.

"Well I did when I was on all sort of potions but now I'm not so sure," I commented. "And besides, I know that you want to get me drunk and get me to tell you things that you don't need to know."

"He's going to be on his best behavior," Sirius assured me, giving James a meaningful look. "Aren't we, James?"

James let out a mutter of noncommittal with a shrug.

"Merlin, Black, how do you deal with those two?" Dirk questioned, interjecting himself into the situation. "I mean, isn't it some sort of unwritten rule that you can't date a girl who doesn't get along with your mates?"

"They get along just fine. This is just the way they talk to each other," Sirius answered. I wasn't sure if he was lying or just naive. "And besides, she's worth it." He threw his arm around my shoulder, leaving a quick peck on my temple.

"Which is, of course, code for the fact that she's good in bed," Bertram snickered.

Sammy began to choke on air while Sirius rolled his eyes and smacked Bertram's arm. "Don't talk about her like that," he told him.

"Oh so she's not good in bed?" Ben joked.

"Greer, don't you start too," Sirius scowled at Ben.

"What? We're just being curious," Bertram shrugged.

"Yeah and your curiosity about how good of a shag I am is disturbing," I commented coolly, trying to remain calm about the fact that my ability in bed was being discussed.

"Aubrey, we're here to have a good time, not giving Black's girlfriend a hard time," Tessa pointed out, surprising me by taking my side rather than his. She didn't even seem to like me.

"I'm just joking around," he shrugged. "She knows not to take it personally."

"Well how about you stop being a git?" she snapped.

"Can you guys knock it off?" Ben interjected. "We're here."

The Twisted Kitten looked like an abandoned muggle factory. The windows were darkly tinted and there was something about it that just screamed not to enter unless you wanted to be killed by an axe murderer.

"It's beautiful," James announced. "Can you smell that Firewhiskey?"

I looked at him with disbelief, rolling my eyes. He was unbelievable.

"Alright now let's behave ourselves," Ben gave us all a meaningful look.

And no one behaved themselves that night. Once the Firewhiskey started pouring, it was was pretty obvious that nobody was going to be minding themselves.

Tessa was the first one drunk. She started attacking Bertram and throwing gibberish accusations at him. Ben's cousin, Len, had to escort her out of the pub before she drew too much attention to herself. Bertram sought out comfort in the arms of a sympathetic drunk girl, lapping up the sympathy for all it was worth.

Other than Peter, who was a ball of self-loathing and taking up all of sober Remus' attention, everyone else who was drunk seemed more cheerful. Renee had talked Sammy into taking a shot, which soon turned into three shots and they were under the table, talking about how much they loved each other. James, Ben, Dirk, and Warner were singing some Irish pub song loudly at the bar, sounding absolutely horrible and out of tune. I don't even think they were all singing the same song. Sirius hadn't been drinking nearly as much as most of the others but he'd gone off to the loo and been missing for a few hours so maybe he was more drunk than I thought.

Watching the drunken circus was entertaining but it was also got old pretty quickly. I was soon bored with nothing but my thoughts to preoccupy my time. I didn't really like my thoughts. They always seemed to end up on Sirius, which wasn't exactly where I wanted them. Sirius wasn't a smart thing for me to be focusing on.

After my little moment of feeling the slightest bit of... desire towards him I'd refused to think about what the bloody hell it meant. Had it been a sudden influx of hormones? Was it that he was the only male in my life that I had to project these petty teenage girl feelings onto? Maybe I didn't fancy him. Maybe I just felt this way because he started acting semi-decent towards me and he was always around. And he had a nice arse. Wait... no! I should not be thinking about his arse! This was not good.

"Maggie, Maggie!" James called to me, stumbling from the bar. He nearly tripped over a wooden chair and proceeded to yell at it for the next several minutes, implying that its mother was a stripper pole. Once he felt that he'd given it a bit enough piece of his mind, he continued staggering drunkenly to me at our table.

"Potter, you should sit down before you fall down," I informed him, pulling out the chair next to me.

He threw himself into it, setting his enormous feet on the table. His chair wobbled underneath him as it tried to balance itself on its back legs. I managed to throw my arm behind the back of his chair, stopping him from falling on the ground. "I'm pissed!" he announced loudly and happily.

"Yeah, I can see that," I informed him.

Ben and Dirk came stumbling up behind James, their arms thrown around his each other's shoulders with big grins in on their faces. "Where's your boyfriend, Nolan?" Ben questioned, surprising not stuttering his words.

"Yeah, Maggie, your 'boyfriend'," James gave me a big conspicuous wink.

"Yeah, shouldn't you be shagging him?" Dirk questioned, holding onto Dirk for support as swayed.

"No, no, no! Maggie's not shagging him," James informed them, shaking his head dramatically. I wouldn't have been surprised if that much head shaking made him dizzy.

"What? Why not?" Ben demanded before draining a glass of questionable amber contents and leaking it down his front..

I looked at James, not knowing what he was likely to say given his drunken state. It was possible he'd tell them the truth. That I wasn't sleeping with Sirius because we were only pretending to date. And if he did then it was likely that Ben and Dirk wouldn't remember any of this conversation the next morning or that they'd think James was just drunkenly rambling. But if he did say the truth then he'd probably blame me for one reason or another.

"Because - Because she's waiting for marriage," he finally told them, looking rather pleased with himself for his little lie.

I let out a subconscious breath of relief. Our story was still intact.

"No! She's a prude!" Ben gasped, wiping his drink off his shirt.

"No way!" Dirk shook his head in the same dramatic, overzealous way that James had before. "Sirius would never date a prude."

I suddenly felt offended. I didn't know if I was offended that they were surprised that I'd want to wait until marriage or that they were making the assumption that Sirius was shallow enough to only date someone who he thought would sleep with him.

"Unless he sees it as a challenge," Ben commented, stabling himself by grabbing hold on the back of James' chair.

"Of course!" Dirk smacked himself in the face, leaving a red mark. "He wanted the challenge after Sammy was so easy."

I instinctively slapped him, leaving a new red mark on his cheek. "Don't you dare talk about Sammy like that," I managed to justify myself. I got to my feet huffily, indignantly storming across the bar.

The front entrance was blocked by numerous drunken couples grinding on each other. I tried the opposite wall, slipping past the bathrooms and hopefully towards a back door. Luckily my hunch paid off and I found a back door tucked away behind a busboy station. I ducked out, hoping I could find my way back home out of the alley.

I wasn't the only one in the alley. I could see enough of Sirius' face in the reflection of the pub light coming out of the window to recognize him. I didn't recognize the woman who had her legs wrapped around him.

Jealous fury ignited in my veins. Suddenly I couldn't breath and all I wanted to do was beat this bird's head against the brick wall. I stepped backwards, barely able to force myself out of the situation. As the door eventually shut, Sirius finally realized I was there. I didn't bother to speak to him, knowing that if I opened my mouth then I wasn't going to be able to control what came out of it.

I turned around, trying to be the bigger man. I opened the door as calmly as I could and walking back inside. I picked up my pace when I was inside the pub, pushing my way through the drunken dancing couples.

I felt like I was going to explode. Like I was some sort of pressurized container and the pressure was building until I was about to explode. My heartbeat was erratic and my hands were shaking with a nonsensical rage. I needed to get somewhere that there'd be less casualties if I blew up.

I continued elbowing my way to the front door, forcing my way through all the dancers. I threw open the door with a bit of a dramatic flair that I must have inherited from my mother. Luckily for Sirius, I wasn't my mum or I probably would have caused a scene, complete with some sympathy-seeking sobs and accusations. I didn't even have a reason to cause a scene. I wasn't actually his girlfriend. I didn't have any reason to be upset that he was sucking face with some slag.

Obviously, despite my lack of reason to be upset, I was, in fact, really upset. Actually, I was behind upset. I was actually on the verge of being violently irrational. I was just an inch short of suddenly breaking windows and screaming obscenities at strangers. I didn't know why I was so angry. I didn't have any reason to be. It was confusing as to why I was now just a short step away from homicide and the confusion made it worse.

This was all the Marauders' fault. If they hadn't dragged me into this then none of this feelings would have bubbled up. I couldn't even stand Sirius before they forced me to socialize with him. If they weren't bribing me then I wouldn't even interact with him. I could go on thinking that he was a prat and be fully content with it. If Sirius wasn't a wanker and could hold on to his girlfriend then I wouldn't have this problem. He'd be with Sammy and I'd never have entered this murky Marauder-infested water. My life would be simpler, better even. He ruined my life.

How did I become a victim to his charm? He wasn't even that charming. I mean, just because he smiled with his eyes or had that endearing canine-like laugh or could... No. I wasn't going to fall victim to him even more. Sirius Black was a bad person. He was a sex addict. He was only interested in women who'd sleep with him. Ben and Dirk had said so. They'd been sharing a dormitory with him for years. They knew his dating tendencies better than I did. And Sirius having a complete stranger wrapped around him in an alley, doing Merlin knows what, only strengthened their argument. He was a manwhore and he wasn't worth my time.

"Maggie!" Well speak of the manwhore...

I turned on my heels in the almost silent Diagon Alley street. The street was practically empty with the only noise coming from the few pubs that everyone seemed to have flocked to. "You're an idiot," I informed him unabashedly.

"Okay? Do you want to expand on that or...?" The git was sober enough to stand there and have a conversation with me without falling over, which only made me angrier.

"Do you know how many people in that pub think we're dating?" Apparently my anger was more quick thinking than my level-headedness.

"Erm... A lot?"

"And what if someone else had walked in on you and whoever you were with?" I continued, trying to contain the amount of venom I was about to spew at him. "What if it'd been Aubrey or Creswell or Greer or even Sammy? They'd thought you were cheating. All that work we've done to try to convince everyone that we're some happy couple would've gone out the window because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself."

"Maggie, I didn't mean to -"

"I don't care who you snog or even shag. It's not my concern. I have been taking Potter and your other mates' accusations and snide comment to make this work. Don't jeopardize all of this work because you fancied a romp in a back alley. Next time learn to be a little discreet."

"Mags, I didn't do it on purpose. It just kind of -" he began to try to explain.

"Good night Sirius," I told cut him off, not wanting to listen to him make excuses about how his hormones made him do it. I continued back down the street, trying to remain as composed as possible. My mission was clear: I needed to get home where I could break things in peace.


	10. Wildberry

This whole weekend was like wildberry ice cream. It's something you're never quite sure what you're going to get yourself into. It's more of a generic flavor name that could end up tasting like almost anything.

"It's a brilliant idea!" James argued, practically waltzing around the room, apparently pleased with himself about his plan. "It's the perfect way for Lily and I to bond."

"Potter, you're an idiot," I informed him from over my copy of the Daily Prophet. This was the first weekend that my uncle Florean got permission from his Healers to work. This was my first weekend off all summer. The last thing I wanted to do was waste it on a harebrained scheme to try to woo Lily.

"It'll work!" he assured me happily, doing some sort of foxtrot around my living room with a couch pillow. "You remember saying that Lily's dad took her family camping two weeks ago, right? Well if we all go camping together then she and I will have a common interest. According to Witch Weekly, that's the most important component for a blossoming romance."

I exhaled deeply, "First of all, Witch Weekly is written by a bunch of middle aged women with their cats, trying to tell women what they want to hear. Second of all, you don't know anything about muggle camping."

"But I'm willing to learn!" he pointed out, not allowing reality to ruin his plan. "And she'll know that. She'll know that I did all of this for her and she'll be touched!"

"More likely she'll be disturbed," I muttered, flipping the newspaper to the sports section. "Damn. The Harpies beat the Kestrels."

"You're a Kestrels fan?" Sirius questioned innocently from his perch across the living room.

I didn't answer. It'd been my general policy not to speak to him after the Twisted Kitten debacle. I simply continued searching through the newspaper for more news.

"And this whole thing between you two needs to stop. Have you forgotten that you two are supposed to be a young couple in bliss?" James stopped his waltzing to give Sirius and I a patronizing look.

"Shove off, Potter," I replied briskly.

"Prongs, leave them alone," Remus commented, lounging lazily on the sofa with a book. "I'm sure they'll work it out for themselves."

"Well they'd better because when the guests arrive in a few hours they'll have to be in full 'happy couple' mood," James announced, continuing his little impromptu dance around the living room.

I exhaled deeply, setting the paper on my lap, "You already invited them?"

"Yeah, I invited them yesterday. I didn't want my invite to be _too _last minute," he answered as if it were obvious.

"Potter?"

"Yes, Nolan?"

"I'm going to kill you," I announced, getting to my feet.

He backed away slowly, probably intimidated by the homicidal look on my face. "Now, Nolan, don't do anything rash. You don't want to do anything that you're going to regret later."

"Trust me, I'm not going to regret this," I informed him, feeling as if something had finally just snapped deep inside. I took a few steps toward him, wondering if Walby would help me dispose of his body.

"Nolan, don't do this. I mean, Maggie, love, you don't really want to do this, do you?" he questioned, still backing away from me.

"Yes, yes, I do," I nodded slowly.

"Mags, please don't do this," Sirius spoke up. "It's not worth it."

"I don't care."

"Pads, I don't think I can take her," James commented, almost whispering as he backed himself into the wall. "She's scaring me."

"Okay, Maggie, let's just take a step back," Sirius suggested, slowly getting from his seat as if I were a wild animal and sudden movements would send me into a frenzy. He gently grabbed my arm, "Why don't we go upstairs and calm down?"

I whipped my head around to glare at him. He winced but didn't let go. "Let's go upstairs," he told me repetitively. "_Maggie."_

I had to stop myself from audibly growling. I'd just been so much more irritable after everything that happened at the Twisted Kitten. Anything could suddenly make me homicidal, though this instance was probably the more justified episode. James was just so damn entitled.

I violently pulled my arm from Sirius' grasp, making an exit that would make any dramatic teenage girl proud. I didn't like acting like a stereotypical bitchy teenager often but since I started spending more time with the Marauders, it was becoming inevitable.

I muttered and mumbled irritably to myself as I climbed the stairs. I hated how entitled James was. It was like he was an only child so he was used to everything being his way. He was so... presumptuous. He was always just assumed I'd go along with his harebrained schemes. Git.

"Maggie, we need to talk," Sirius informed me as he easily kept up with my provoked strides.

"Sure, Black. I have two words for you: Sod off!" I huffily retorted.

"Seriously, Mags, do you have to always to be so hostile? Are you still mad about what happened at the Twisted Kitten? Because I told you I'm sorry. It was a Firewhiskey-induced bad decision."

"I really don't care who you snog or shag," I informed him, repeating the same thing that I'd been telling him since that night.

"Well then what's got your knickers in a twist? You've been in a bad mood for days," he commented.

"Have you ever considered that I just don't like you?" I retorted.

"Well you seemed to like me well enough before," he countered easily. "In fact, we were getting along great before that night at the pub. Something must have happened to change the way you feel. What happened?"

"Who says there's a big reason behind it? Maybe I just have never liked you," I offered.

"Alright, fine then. Don't like me. But you promised to help me so don't let your mood swings get in the way, okay?"

I scowled at him. Damn manwhore. What right did he have to be so patronizing? He was the reason I was so irritable. If he could get keep it in his trousers for more than five seconds then we wouldn't have this problem. "Whatever," I managed to coolly reply. "I'm going to go warn Lev and Nina that we're going to get invaded again."

"Fine. Everyone'll be here in two hours. Try to be a little more civilized by then."

I stomped away, muttering to myself about his stupid hair. Why did he always seem to be pushing my buttons?

"What's wrong with my hair?!" he exclaimed, his hand moving defensively to his hair.

I rolled my eyes in reply, knocking on Lev's door. There wasn't any answer so I knocked again. The creaked open slowly and I could only see a sliver of Lev's eye. He'd been a bit shy and withdrawn ever since the Marauders began hanging around. "Can I come in?"

The door opened a fraction of an inch more and I accepted that as an invitation. I pushed the door open as Lev scurried away out of sight. He'd always been shy but this was getting ridiculous. I shut the door behind me, hoping that would calm him down slightly.

"Hey," I greeted him softly.

He let out a grunted reply, retreating back into the fort he'd made in his bed.

"How are you holding up?" I questioned. "I know it can't be easy to have the Marauders around, invading everything. You doing okay?"

He grunted again, which I assumed to be an affirmative answer. It was still before noon so he hadn't quite managed to remember how to use his words yet.

"I just wanted to let you know that we're going to have more people over today. We're mostly going to be outside, though, so we shouldn't bother you too much."

He grunted yet again, which was becoming increasingly annoying but, since he didn't understand why I kept having to have people over and he was uncomfortable about it, I tried to let it slide.

"You can come down and hang out with us, if you want. It might make Hogwarts a little easier if you made some friends with the older students," I commented.

Finally he managed to find his voice, "I don't want to make Hogwarts easier. I want to drop out."

I nodded, "I know, pet, but Mum'll never let that happen."

"Then I'll run away."

I tried not to smile at the idea. He'd never last a day on his own. He was twelve, socially awkward, and perpetually anxious. "Well until then, I know that Lily wants to meet you. She's nice. And I'm sure that Sirius and James would love to hear those Quidditch plays that you've been working on."

"I'll think about it."

It would have been better than a flat out rejection if he'd been serious about considering it. He just didn't want me to push the idea. "Okay. I'm going to go warn Nina. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine," he waved me off.

I took that as my cue to leave. I ducked out of the room, respecting his unspoken wish to be alone. He'd never seen the point in small talk or pointless conversation. That was half of the reason that he found socializing so hard. He thought that communication should only be used for communicating relevant and important information. Remembering that only reiterated the fact that I really needed the Marauders' influence to help get him a social life, or at least to make it so he wasn't constantly bullied so much.

Sirius had left when I came back to the hallway. He was probably off brooding somewhere about my comment on his hair. He could be so swallow sometimes.

I knocked on Nina's door. Carly mewled in reply, scratching at the door. Nina opened the door and the kitten came sauntering up to me, rubbing itself against my leg. I looked down at it with disdain but quickly tried to shake off the look, knowing how it would upset Nina. "I'm having some friends over tonight," I informed her. "We're going to be outside. James has this fascination with Muggle camping. I don't know. Anyways, you can come spend time with us if you want but we should be mostly out of your way if you don't."

She shrugged, "Okay. How many people are going to be over?"

I thought about it, "Erm... Well, there's the boys, Lily, Teresa, Sammy, Renee, Bertram, Ben, Dirk, and Warner so about twelve. Give or take at least. I never know what James is going to do."

"So Muggle camping? Are you guys going to sleep in a tent or something?" she questioned curiously. "Why would you want to do that?"

"'Want' is a strong word. I'm just humoring James," I replied. "Really, I don't see the appeal."

"So you're just going along for it for James? Is that because he's your boyfriend's best mate?"

I nodded slowly, that was the best explanation she could get without explaining everything about how this was all a ploy to help Lev.

She scrunched up her nose, "Why does that matter?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. Boyfriends make things complicated. Talking about boyfriends, I have to go make sure that Sirius and, I guess, James aren't getting into any trouble. You going to be okay tonight on your own?"

She nodded, "If I need anything then I'll go to Walby or Lev. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

She was right. I rarely had to worry about her, which was good, considering that I had more than enough on my hands with Lev. I reached down, grabbing Carly by the scruff of her neck, and handing her to my sister. "Keep this one out of the way so she doesn't get hurt, okay?"

She nodded, "Okay."

I nodded back at her before leaving to go find the Marauders. I was still generally annoyed with their existence but I did still need them. Well, actually Lev still needed them.

Sirius, James, and Remus were sitting around some sort of large piece of parchment, discussing logistics about something or anything when I came down. I didn't greet them. I took a seat in an armchair and watched silently.

"No, that misses the entire point!" James complained, waving off whatever Remus' suggestion was. "I don't want Lily that far away from me."

Ah, they seemed to be plotting whose tent was going where and next to who. It was the equivalent of a tent seating chart. I tried not to laugh. That sounded like James. He was like a bored housewife, planning dinner parties.

"Nolan, where's the best place to fit seven tents?" James questioned, not looking up from his chart.

"Um... That'd be the clearing by the lake. It could probably fit seven tents and a campfire," I replied honestly, not sure how he even knew that I was there.

"Pads, go with her to check it out," James ordered in his usual flippant tone. "I need you to be my eyes. I have _things _to attend to before Lily Flower gets here."

I could have swore that I saw Sirius roll his eyes. I was surprised that he hadn't gotten tired of always being around someone so demanding. "Fine, Nolan, let's go."

I shrugged in reply, "Okay."

He seemed a little confused by my quick change in mood. I couldn't really blame him. I'd been almost unable to stand the sight of him almost ten minutes ago and suddenly the fire was completely gone.

I got from my chair, going to the door to slide on my shoes. I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to get ready to go. Watching him, I tried to think of anything but what happened at the Twisted Kitten. If I forgot about that slag in the alley then maybe I'd be able to stay civil through this entire thing.

He watched me back as he kicked on his trainers, not bothering to watch his own feet. "We'll be back," he announced to the room before he headed out the door first, allowing me to follow him.

I was content to walk to the clearing in silence but he didn't seem to feel the same way. "Is your mood always so temperamental?" he questioned as we crossed through the garden. "Do your moods always change this fast?"

"Uh... No?" I replied uncertainly, not really thinking of my moods as being unstable or temperamental.

"You were just glaring at me and insulting my hair ten minutes ago," he pointed out. "Now you're normal again. What the hell happened?"

I nodded, "I suppose that does seem a little moody, doesn't it?"

"What the hell happened?" he repeated.

I shrugged, "You guys drive me insane. Potter has a tendency to be a demanding prat and you... Anyways, I talked to Lev and remembered how painfully awkward and antisocial he is and how much he hates being at school. It just reminded me that, as much as you make me want to pull my hair out, I need you guys. I just figure that you need me, I need you, and I might as well try not to kill you _all _the time."

"Well a break from your homicidal tendencies would be nice," he joked, giving me an easy smile.

And all of a sudden, we were good. I just had to forget my jealousy, swallow my pride a bit, and BAM! Row over. Well that was considerable easy.

"So is this how all of summer is going to be?" I inquired conversationally. "Is it really going to be just Potter trying to play host and woo Lily's affections? Because it's kind of exhausting. I don't know how you've put up with it for so long."

He let out his trademark bark-like laugh, "It's something you learn to live with. Eventually it doesn't even faze you anymore. Besides, September will be here before you know it. Of course, then you'll have to deal with his Quidditch habits, which are considerably worse. If you think he's demanding now then you should see the tyrant he becomes over Quidditch. His teammates call him 'Captain Blood'."

"Oh boy," I drawled as good-humoredly as I could. "Well, I guess as long as I don't play Quidditch then I'll manage to suffer through him."

We fell into a comfortable silence as we hiked along the beaten dirt path. There was definitely something to be said about being able to be around someone without feeling obligated to keep up a conversation. Constant small talk was exhausting.

We reached the clearing shortly after. It wasn't necessarily a long walk from the house to the lake but the path zigzagged through the trees, making it impossible see it through the forest. It was my favorite place on the entire property.

"This will work," Sirius gave it a nod of approval. "We could put the tents in a half circle, put a fire in the middle. Yeah, this is perfect." He pointed to a little patch of grass by the shore, "We could put our tent there."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "'Our tent'?"

There was a slight hint of pink tinting his cheeks. Since when did Sirius Black blush? "Well everyone does think we've been dating for the last three weeks. James decided that it'd be more realistic that we're 'in a stable, serious relationship' if we share a tent."

"Because you want everyone to think that we're shagging," I added.

"I didn't say that."

"It doesn't need to be said," I shrugged, not even bothering to accept that I was mildly angry about it. I kept reminding myself that this was for Lev, repeating it like it was my new mantra. "I know what this is about."

He looked genuinely ashamed of the implication, "It's just -"

I held up my hand, knowing that I was probably only going to become more upset after the explanation, "Don't worry about it. If you think it'll help then that's what we'll do."

He cocked his head to the side, eyeing me curiously, "You know, I kind of thought you were going to freak about this. I'm really glad you're not."

I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek. I didn't want to admit to him that part of me was angry about the arrangement. He'd be considered a god for shagging someone after three weeks. I'd be considered a slag for not waiting the standard three months. It was for Lev and it wasn't like everyone would necessarily have proof that Sirius and I were shagging. They could only take it that way if they wanted.

"We should get back," he commented. "We're going to have to start setting up soon if we want to be ready for when everyone gets here."

I nodded again, "Okay."

He gestured for me to lead the way back to the house, "Let's go."

We'd hiked back to the house within a matter of minutes, commenting offhandedly about the weather or the upcoming camping trip. It wasn't anything too important, just little remarks about trivial things. It was comfortable and kind of nice not to have a demanding conversation.

"So will it work?" James inquired, noticing that Sirius and I had returned from our surveying.

Sirius nodded, "It'll be perfect. There's plenty of room."

James brightened up at the announcement, "Well then let's get moving. We've got tents to pitch and a fire to build. Hey, Nolan, do you have anything Muggle to make this more authentic?"

After two hours of having James bitch about how the tents weren't in an 'optimal' position, trying to explain to him the uses of a Muggle record player, Peter nearly catches his eyebrows on fire, and repeating my "This is for Lev" mantra twenty three times, the campsite was finally done. James finally was satisfied and deemed our efforts acceptable for "his Lily Flower". Seriously, just hearing him talk about Lily that way was uncomfortable. I didn't blame her for not wanting to date her.

Renee and Sammy arrived with Warner first. I felt a pang of jealousy when I noticed how envious Sirius was when he looked at Sammy and Warner. Great, as if I didn't have enough jealousy issues when I saw Sirius and random slags. Now I'd have to deal with them whenever I saw Sirius with his ex. Bloody fantastic.

Part of me liked when Sammy was around. Sirius was more affectionate then, making it obvious that I was "his". I enjoyed that part. Of course, it was tainted a little by the jealousy and the confusion as to why the hell I was even jealous at all. It didn't make sense.

Ben, Dirk, and Bertram came afterwards, carrying what seemed to be their weight in alcohol. Oh, that was not good. The last time alcohol was involved in one of these gatherings... Well, I didn't even want to think about it. No one else seemed to have the same reservations about alcohol being involved. By the time that Marlene and Lily showed up, the Firewhiskey was already flowing.

Sirius and James talked me into attempting to drink. Sirius told me that the trick was to just sip on some wine or another less potent drink. I didn't have to impress anyone, I just had to make an effort.

We all ended up around the campfire, lounging in wooden chairs and laughing. This had to have been my favorite get-together so far. No one had divided up into our little subgroups and everyone was slightly intoxicated and happy. Even I could feel a slight warmth in my cheeks from my red currant wine.

Sirius had definitely been drinking more than I was. This was obvious when he clumsily pulled me into his lap, his lips skimming along whatever skin he could reach. I tried not to shiver at his touch but it was getting harder to pay attention to the conversation going on around me. I didn't know if this was a side effect of him drinking or if he was only trying to keep up appearances.

Eventually enough Firewhiskey had flowed that the blokes seemed to be a bit emboldened. "So, Sirius, James told us about your little problem. How are you going to survive dating a prude?" Ben questioned with a grin.

I was kind of glad that I'd already been red in the face from drinking so nobody would notice my blush. I finished off my cup of wine, trying to stop myself from giggling. So apparently I was a giggly drunk. That was an interesting development.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius managed to take his lips off my shoulder long enough to question.

"James told us that your girlfriend's erm... 'saving herself' for marriage," Dirk divulged with a grin so wide that it made my cheeks hurt just looking at him.

I tried to stop myself from giggling, not wanting to embarrass myself or give away the fact that this was all pretend. I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing that Sirius would go back to distracting me with his sinfully delightful lips.

"Oh really?" Sirius sounded amused. I was so glad that he was a nice drunk. I guess he wasn't necessarily drunk yet but he was definitely headed in that direction. "Maggie, is that true?"

I nodded, "Yeah, James really did say that."

He let out a low chuckle, his warm breath on my neck, "That's not what I meant. Are you waiting until marriage?"

"I don't know. Am I?" I replied, not exactly sure if that was the lie we were telling everyone.

Everyone seemed to laugh at that answer. I wasn't sure why everyone thought it was so funny. I hadn't really meant it to be. I decided just to pretend that I'd meant to be funny the entire time. Either that or everyone was laughing at me.

"You're doing good, Maggie," Sirius murmured in my ear, his voice low and husky. I could feel a shiver move down my spine but I tried to ignore it.

"Talking about girlfriends and their willingness to put out, Warner, how goes things with Roberts?" Dirk smirked.

Sammy looked so embarrassed that I suddenly felt proud of my more subtle reaction. Or, I think it was more subtle. The wine was beginning to affect my perception of what was happening around me.

"That's none of your business," Warner announced.

Dirk and Ben snorted while Bertram smirked. "Which is obviously code for the fact that you're celibate and ashamed of it," Dirk teased.

"And is that why you keep asking everybody about their sex lives? To hide that the fact you're celibate and ashamed of it?" I didn't realize what I was even saying until the words made their way out.

Ben and Bertram howled with laughter and I could feel Sirius shaking with more subtle laughter underneath me. "You're a bitch," Dirk informed me. I'd obviously accidentally hit a nerve, which was not something I'd intended.

"Oi! That's my girlfriend you're talking about!" Sirius barked, his arms protectively encircling me. He was even better at pretending to be my boyfriend drunk than he was sober. Interesting.

Dirk waved him off, huffily getting out of his chair and trudging towards the path. Apparently Firewhiskey made him more touchy. Ben and Bertram went after him, chuckling the whole way. At least I wasn't the only one to find my comment funny. I just wish that Dirk had taken it better.

"You know, Nolan, sometimes I don't always hate you," James announced, cradling a bottle of Firewhiskey to his chest like an infant.

"Right back at you, Potter," I admitted, enjoying the feeling as Sirius rubbed his hands along my bare arms. Why had I worn short sleeves? I'd be a lot less likely to melt under his touch so much is there was a fabric protective layer between our skin.

I felt Sirius reach down to grab his bottle of Firewhiskey. Why had I let him pull me onto his lap? I'd be so less sensitive to his touch and his movements if I couldn't feel everything.

"Want some?" He offered me the bottle from over my shoulder.

If I'd been sober then I would have been able to recognize that this was a bad idea. I would have recognized that I was a lightweight and Firewhiskey was the last thing I needed. I, however, was not sober so this kind of logic was lost on me.

"Sure," I shrugged before taking a hearty swig from the bottle. I'd heard that it burns on the way down but I hadn't expected that. Tears flooded to my eyes as my throat continued to burn after I handed Sirius the bottle back. Well, I wouldn't be drinking anymore of that.

Sirius seemed to have better tolerance than I did, considering that he was contently throwing it back like it was pumpkin juice. Apparently he had more experience than I did, which wasn't surprising considering that I was a novice.

With each drink, Sirius was getting more affectionate. I stopped drinking after that brush with Firewhiskey, which meant the alcohol was beginning to wear off. That also meant that I was more self conscious about how much Sirius was touching me. Everyone who thought we were dating probably wouldn't have batted an eyelash at the way he was kissing the inside of my wrist or rest his hands on my thighs. It probably seemed like normal relationship. The problem was that Sirius and I weren't in a relationship. We were just pretending and so far every act of physical affection had been choreographed and never this intimate. I was uncomfortable, mostly because having him touch me wasn't uncomfortable. It was warm and addictive. He and I weren't supposed to be doing this. It felt as if it went against some sort of unspoken rule.

"I'm tired," he muttered a few drinks, his head resting tiredly against my shoulder. "Let's go to bed."

I nodded. Getting some sleep into him would be good. It might give me a break from his confusing affection. Had he always been this affectionate when he was drunk?

"I'm going to take Sirius to bed," I announced to anyone around sober enough to listen to me. "I think he's drank so much that he's too flammable to be around an open flame. 'Night."

Remus was the only one who was paying attention and/or sober enough to hear me. He just waved us off, "'Night."

I tried to detach Sirius' grip on my wrist, sliding his hands off me. He whined in response, trying to keep his hold on me. Luckily his alcohol consumption made him harder to keep his grip on me. Eventually I managed to detach myself from him, standing before he could grab me again. "Come on, Sirius," I beckoned, offering him my hand to help him from the chair.

He groaned, taking my hands and allowing me to pull him from the chair. He was about as heavy as I expected, which is more than I could manage to lift. He was like drunken dead weight and I barely managed to dig my feet in and pull him to his feet.

He seemed more interested in affectionately nuzzling himself into me than getting back to the tent. He was such an affection drunk. I didn't know if that piece of information made me feel better about everything that happened at the Twisted Kitten. On one hand that it meant that his alley rendezvous was inspired by his drinking, but it also meant he wasn't picky about who received his affection, which was a bit of a low blow to my self esteem.

Sirius muttered something incoherently in my ear as I tries to lead him towards the tent. Actually, "leading" him was more like half coaxing him to move and half dragging him.

"What was that?" I questioned as we finally managed to arrive outside our tent.

"I want you," he repeated with a low growl as I attempted to balance him up upright while unzipping the tent door.

I blinked several times as he crossed the line between affection and sexual advances. I tried to just shake it off, hoping that it was a one time mistake on his part. I pushed Sirius into the tent, smacking his head against the canvas roof. He let out a pathetic whine, seeming to have become more childlike with each drink.

I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior, "It's alright, love. Let's get you in your sleeping bag."

He nodded with a yawn. At least at this rate it wouldn't take me much time for me to manage to get him to sleep. Then I might actually be able to stop him from making all these incredibly confusing advances towards me.

I didn't know how I was going to manage to get him to lie down. He was too drunk for me to persuade him to lie down and he was too big for me to force him to lie down. I had to try anyways. "Come on, Sirius, lay down," I beckoned.

"Lay with me?" he questioned hopefully.

The idea was appealing in its own right. I wasn't about to deny the inevitable truth that part of me wanted him, though I wasn't exactly sure exactly how big that part of me was. Another part of me though was terrified of being without lying distance with him when he was so drunk and... lustful. I didn't want him to take a "yes" as a "yes, I'll let you shag me".

"Sure," I eventually nodded, hoping that he'd lose consciousness before he could get too handsy. "Let's get you to bed."

After agreeing to lie with him, he was relatively easy to get into his bed. I didn't know why James thought that Muggle camping would be a good idea. What was so great about sleeping on the ground? I didn't see the appeal.

Once I got him situation into his own bag, I pushed my own bed to the far side of the tent before climbing in. I was almost touching the canvas wall, which could have been disastrous if it began to rain but it kept me as far away from drunk Sirius as possible.

He seemed to be less pleased by the arrangement. He easily pulled my sleeping bag towards him, bringing me back into his reach. "Want you," he mumbled, practically ripping me out of my bag as he tried to pull me to him. His Firewhiskey tasting lips clumsily latched onto mine. They were awkward and not up to their usual form but they were still mindblowingly addictive. It wasn't until I realized his hands were aggressively exploring underneath my shirt that I even remembered that this wasn't supposed to be happening. I managed to push him away from me, immediately missing the warmth once he was gone.

He pouted childishly, protesting our sudden distance. He settled for drunkening nuzzling his head into my stomach, seeming to be content for a least a month. It didn't take long for his breathing pattern to change, obviously losing consciousness.

I held my breath until he let out a faint snore, proving that he was unconscious. I watched his hair fall into his eyes as his heading rose and fell with my breathing. His innocent, angelic sleeping facial expression made it harder for me to be angry with him for his out of control behavior that night. Maybe who I really should've been angry with was the person who supplied him with the alcohol. Surprisingly enough, however, I wasn't really angry. My confusion about why Sirius had behaved like that and why my body was still tingling was more overwhelming. It wasn't fair that I was just barely beginning to question my feelings towards him and then all of a sudden I was being the focus of his sexual energy. It just wasn't fair. Why did the universe do this to me? Couldn't it have just a little better timing? Either way it was safe to assume that I was in the need for a very cold shower.


	11. Apple Pie

Today was like apple pie ice cream, a pleasant surprise. It's kind of a safe, comforting flavor that isn't overwhelming, it's kind of like vanilla ice cream in that way except less bland.

It didn't start out so safe and comforting. After my awkward tent incident with Sirius, things had been a bit tense between Sirius and I. Actually, no. Sirius wasn't tense or awkward at all. He was more confused as to why I was actively avoiding him. Apparently he had no recollection of anything that had happened that night and I wasn't exactly being forthcoming with a recap for him.

This was one of the only times that I volunteered to work at the ice cream shop out of my own free will. At least then I'd be free to hide from Sirius and ignore his questions. At least then I could distract myself by taking care of brat children's ice cream requests and their useless parents.

Of course, when I was thinking about how to avoid Sirius, I wasn't taking into consideration that he could easily come and stalk me at the shop. In fact, he came in with a few of our "friends". Apparently it was a little field trip and no one warned me. At least at work I had all distractions to keep me from Sirius. While at work it wasn't like he and I were going to get any time alone anyways. I just would have liked to have a few hours of peace.I guess I just would have be to happy that Ben, Dirk, and Bertram didn't show up. I was just glad to enjoy an outing that didn't enjoy them insulting me or making insinuations about my love life.

"Have you seen this whole spread about 'Punisher Grams'?" Marlene questioned from behind a copy of the Daily Prophet after a particularly brutal rush of whinging children.

"Sounds kinky," James replied with a roguish grin.

Lily dramatically rolled her eyes, "They're anything but. They're pathetic and cowardly."

"What are they?" Remus inquired with polite curiosity.

"They're kind of like those 'Slap O' Grams' that were so popular back in the 50's, you know, before they were outlawed," Marlene explained. "The ones that were marketed to women with cheating boyfriends and whatever. Anyways, 'Punisher Grams' are kind of like them mixed with Howlers. You send them to people in the post and apparently it beats the hell out of whoever it's addressed for. It's disgusting."

"And morally wrong and cowardly and illegal," Lily continued for her, her notorious angry red faced expression making an appearance. "Death Eaters are using for them to send to Muggles. Wizards can fend with off with a simple Shield Spell but there's been at least three accounts of people dying from them in the past six months."

"Sounds kind of like those poisonous tea bags that the Death Eaters were sending in the post," Sirius commented. "You know, the ones that they were claiming as 'free samples'. They probably killed almost a dozen Muggles with that one."

Warner managed to detach himself enough from sharing nauseatingly adorable looks with Sammy long enough to contribute to the conversation, "My dad works in Muggle Relations. After that whole tea thing, the Muggles were going around saying that it was the water that was killing people. Said it was contaminated or something. It was a mess."

I shook my head, wiping down the counter. I was never going to stop being amazed by the depravity of the Death Eaters. "Nope, not the water. Apparently the Death Eaters just got bored going door to door to kill them in person," I commented dryly.

"It sounds like Death Eaters aren't the only ones who are sending those 'Punisher Grams' though," Marlene informed us, still pouring over the newspaper. "They're selling them on the black market. Apparently anyone can get to them."

Suddenly a pang of worry struck me. "You need to be careful about the post then," I commented without realizing it. "That's exactly the kind of thing that Snape would consider."

Sirius and James looked at each other. At first their look was skeptical but it slowly transformed into a look of subtle panic. James let out a nervous laugh, trying to brush off the idea, "No. Not even Snivellus would go that far."

"Of course not," Lily scoffed at the idea. "Snape does some... questionable things sometimes but even he's above that."  
I shot her a look, "Are you kidding me? Are we all talking about the same greasy headed Slytherin whose friends practiced the Unforgivables on Mary MacDonald? Or how about that one time that he charmed a suit of armor to go after a First Year who was sitting in his seat? Or the one that constantly to kill James and Sirius several times a day at school? Or the one who the Death Eaters are constantly attempting to recruit? Because if we're talking about the same one then you should know that this is exactly something he might do because he knows that he doesn't have a chance of besting the two of them in a fair fight."

"We'll be fine," James assured me, not wanting to look too flustered at the idea in front of Lily. "We'll figure something out if the time comes."

I wasn't convinced but I knew that there was no point in trying to rationalize with him if Lily was around for him to try to impress. I'd had about as much as I could take of Marauder pride. I needed a vacation from them as soon as possible or at least a good distraction.

The shop swung open like the Universe was actually listening to me and heard my plea for a distraction. Three moderately attractive teenage boys walked in, talking quietly amongst themselves. If anything I'd get to enjoy watching Marlene fall all over herself as she attempted to get the blokes' attention. She was more than a bit boycrazy.

"Hi," one of the blokes greeted me shortly as I made my way back to the counter from the back room . He seemed incredibly antisocial and almost irritated that he had to speak to me. Berk.

"'Afternoon," I nodded at him, not feeling like attempting to start a conversation when he obviously wasn't interested.

"Oi, Birch, be nice. What did I tell you about using your social skills?" the lankier, blue-eyed bloke scowled at him good-naturedly. He turned to me and gave me an easy smile, "I'm sorry about my brother. We generally don't let him go outside so he's not quite used to talking to actual people."

"Well maybe you should get him a mannequin or something to practice with," I commented, trying to match his easy going and good-humored tone.

The lanky bloke laughed, as did the previously quiet one. The quiet one was covered in freckles with almost shocking ginger hair. His mouth was so large that it looked like he could fit a baby's entire head into it and his laugh was loud and obnoxious. Of course, to be as be as awkward and unfortunate looking as he was, it was probably a good thing that he had a good sense of humor.

The antisocial one, who I believe was called "Birch", scowled at the other ones, "Can we just order already?"

I waved him on, "Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Alright, can I get a bowl of corn ice cream?" Oh fuck. The boy had to be a nutjob. Only psychotic people buy corn ice cream. I begged Florean to stop supplying the crazy people with corn ice cream. I mean, if we stopped having it then maybe the crazies would go somewhere else for their frozen confection needs.

I nodded at him, making a mental note of his face in case it ended up on a "Ministry's Most Wanted" poster. I kept one eye on him as I filled a styrofoam bowl with his nasty psycho food. I didn't want him to stab me while I wasn't looking or anything.

I set the bowl on the counter, not wanting to make contact with his possibly serial killer hands. He took the bowl and left outside, possibly to go plot to murder someone. At least this way I could focus on the other two without fear of being murdered. "What can I get you?" I asked the large-mouthed boy.

He grinned at me, showing his gapped teeth, "I'll take a cone of fudge ripple."

Ah, finally a sane flavor. I'd never met a fudge ripple fan that I didn't like. They had the ability to be chocolatey, kind of intense but then there was the vanilla to balance it out. They could be slightly crazy but they also had a down-to-Earth quality to them. I liked that in a person.

I began filling his cone when I noticed out of the corner of my eye. It looked like Fudge Ripple was giving the lanky bloke some sort of head nod. Was that a wink? What were those two up to?

I handed Fudge Ripple his cone, not quite sure if I wanted to know what exactly he and Birch's brother were discussing. I decided to ignore them, focusing on work. "What can I do for you?" I asked the brother.

Fudge Ripple snickered into his ice cream, like it was some inside joke that I wasn't privy to. The psychopath's brother turned and glared at him, causing him to continue snickering out the door to rejoin the future serial killer.

"I'm sorry about him," the brother told me, looking adorably abashed. "He was dropped on his head as a child."

"Well I guess if it's brain damage then I can't quite hold it against him," I conceded. There was something likeable about this bloke.

He flashed me a grin that didn't quite turn my knees into a gelatinous mess but they definitely seemed to quake. "Erm... Right. I'll take a cone of honey comb, if you don't mind."

Ah, that would explain it. Honey comb fans could be some of the sweetest people in the world. They were just like giant teddy bears. Actually, they were like the epitome of true Hufflepuffs, not the outcasts that got let in because no one else wanted them. You know, the loyal, genuinely compassionate, amiable kind. It was refreshing to meet a honey comb fan after spending so much time with the Marauders, who were anything but honey comb.

"Nice choice," I complimented, scooping his ice cream. Part of me was glad that the Marauders and everyone else from school were in the back room. I didn't want my conversation with a complete stranger to be dissected and analyzed. Apparently that was what people liked to do when you're talking to a bloke that's not your boyfriend.

"Is it one of your favorites?" he questioned conversationally.

"Top five, definitely," I nodded.

"What's your favorite?"

"You know, that's kind of a personal question to ask a girl you just met," I pointed out jokingly.

He looked crestfallen for a moment before realizing I was joking, "Right. Sorry about that. I don't know where my manners went."

"Well, I suppose since this is your first offense I'll let you off with a warning." I was glad that no one from school could see me talk to him. I was straddling the line between friendly and flirtatious and I didn't want anyone to know. I mean, it wasn't like I was likely to see him again and I didn't think it was hurting anyone for someone to treat me like a normal teenage girl. If I couldn't get the romantic attention I wanted from Sirius then I'd have to get it from someone else.

I handed him the cone and our fingers brushed, causing him to blush. "Thanks," he told bashfully. "So how much do I owe you for the lot?"

I waved him off, "Don't worry about it."

"Really? Are you sure?"

I nodded. I liked having him around and maybe free ice cream would give him a little incentive to come and flirt with me later. "No worries. Good luck with your brother and send your friend my regrets about his brain damage."

He gave me a Hufflepuff-esque smile, "Thanks. I'll - erm - see you around." His blush continued to burn as he ducked out of the shop, probably going to find his "brain damaged" friend and his psychotic brother.

I tried not to grin, feeling that familiar bubbly feeling. It was the same feeling I always got when talking to a cute bloke who showed interest. It wasn't nearly as strong as the feelings and heart palpitations that Sirius could give me but they were cleaner, less complicated.

I attempted to get my smile under control as I headed back to the store room. Marlene and Lily were looking as if they were already getting ready to leave. Warner and Sammy were looking like they were going to jump on the opportunity to leave so they could spend some time alone. They were still in that adorable new couple stage where they were constantly craving time together. It was endearing but it did make me a little jealous that they were so happy together when my love life was bullocks.

"We've got to run," Lily informed me. "I promised Mum that I'd be home early to help set the table for dinner. Petunia's boyfriends coming over tonight."

"And I'm spending the night at her place," Marlene added. "We'll see you guys around."

I waved them off as they left with Sammy and Warner at their heels, too preoccupied with each other to bother to explain their early exit. I could feel myself longing for that kind of relationship. Why did Sirius and I have to only be pretending to be dating? I mean, I was still a little confused by my relationship with him so diving into a romantic entanglement with him probably wasn't smart but any progress was better than this.

"So, Nolan, what's wrong with you?" James immediately began interrogating me as soon as it was just the Marauders and I left in the shop.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, feigning ignorance. "Nothing's wrong?"

"So that bloke didn't ask you out?" He inquired suspiciously.

I blinked several times, "What?!"

"That bloke who was chatting you up at the counter," he explained as if I were stupid. "Did he ask you out?"

"No. Why would you even think that?" I questioned. I mean, blokes take interest in strangers all the time but they usually don't ask them out.

"I'm a bloke and I know what it's like to be trying to ask a girl out," he replied.

"Yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

Peter snickered into his ice cream but James' glare soon had him observing the floor with a newfound interest. "You know," James continued, ignoring my comment, "I think you should go out with him."

"Really?" I asked dubiously.

He nodded, "Maybe going on a date would make you more humane. It could be good for all of us, you know, if the two of you keep a low profile and no one from school sees you."

"Well I don't plan on seeing him again so I'm not sure how that's going to work into your plans," I informed him evenly, kind of excited that he was giving me the go ahead to date other people on the side of Sirius and I's charade. Dating might bring me back to reality from my little Sirius lusting.

"He'll be back," James told me confidently. "I saw the way he was lookin"g at you and trust me, he'll probably be back tonight if he can work up the courage."

I snuck a look at Sirius, partially hoping for some sort of sign of jealousy at the mention of me going on a date with someone else. His expression was indifferent and I felt slightly disappointed.

"We should go then, lads," James commented, clasping Sirius on the back. Sirius shot him a look of annoyance but he ignored it. "We don't want to get in the way of a budding romance. Good luck with your love life, Nolan."

I scowled at him as he ushered his fellow Marauders out of the room, looking relatively pleased with himself. I considered rejecting the honey comb ice cream bloke's offer (if an offer was ever made) just to spite him. That idea was quickly thrown out after deciding that I wanted a date more than I wanted to brass him off.

He, despite his lack of positive results when it comes to dating, was right. The honey comb bloke showed up not even half an hour after the Marauders left. I was wiping down the counters when he came in, looking incredibly shy and adorable. His blush had taken over his entire face, creeping along his neck and up to his ears.

"Hey," I greeted him, hoping that James was right about his intent.

"I - Erm - I -" He took a deep breath, obviously very nervous. "Do you want to go out sometime?"

I tried not to laugh at his adorableness. I nodded, "Sure."

He looked visibly more relaxed, letting out a breath of relief, "Good. I'm Drew Crawford by the way."

"Maggie Nolan."

"When - Um - When do you get off work tomorrow?" he questioned, still an almost rose color from his blush.

"I get off at eight tomorrow night," I replied. Well, technically I didn't work the following day but he didn't need to know that.

"So I'll meet you here tomorrow around eight?"

I nodded,"Sounds good to me."

He gave me a grin, complete with boyish dimples,"It was nice to met you, Maggie Nolan. I'll see you tomorrow."

I managed to keep a relatively calm face as I watched him leave the shop. As soon as he was out of sight, however, I sunk to the floor behind the counter with an excited squeal of excitement. I had to hand it to the universe, when it made a distraction it did a complete job.

**A/N:**

**And that's chapter eleven for Gits and Ice Cream. A new update should be up soon and until then, feel free to check out my new story, The Moon and the Mob, a story about a girl who gets caught in the middle of a prejudiced mob who think she's a werewolf. I have really high hopes for that story so go ahead and check it out.**

**- Evan**


	12. Cream

Cream ice cream isn't like vanilla ice cream, though the comparison has been made. Cream flavored ice cream is richer, less boring. It tastes better.  
My date with Drew went better than I expected. I'd had a few first dates and generally there's a trademark awkwardness to it but, after an initial hesitation and awkward silence, I broke the ice by asking him about what school he went to. Suddenly we were discussing how he was at the London Academy of Magic because his mum thought the Sorting Hat promoted segregation and then we were swapping stories about our respective schools and claiming how each of our schools were the best. I guess that wasn't the most nonsensical thing I'd ever heard. In fact, it pretty muchsummed up the relationship between Slytherin and Gryffindor pretty well.

The first date was pleasant but the second date was better and the third date was even better than that. The fourth date was when things began to get a bit rocky. I mean I couldn't just keep the fact I was pretending to date Sirius out of the conversation forever, especially when it made making plans almost impossible. He took it relatively well, a testament to his good nature. He really was honey ice cream. He said he understood that I did it for Lev and that it didn't change anything. I didn't even need one hand to count the amount of men I knew who'd be so accepting about that. All I needed was the one finger.

I wouldn't say that it was easy. Balancing Sirius and Drew was exhausting. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it'd be like for people who actually had two boyfriends. Having a fake one and one in the murky water between "just dating" and "in a relationship" was tiring enough, especially when my fake boyfriend came with his own entourage. I couldn't imagine having to balance the two during the school year. Maybe by the time that September rolled around I'd be better at this balancing act.

Actually, I could have been a world class relationship juggler and Sirius still wouldn't be happy. He had been in a foul mood ever since Drew came into my life. I think he just didn't like sharing his toys. Maybe it had more to do with him being irritable that someone else was happily romantically involved with someone when he was still reeling from a bitter breakup. That or he just didn't like Drew, something I wasn't even sure was possible. Drew was one of the most likable blokes I'd ever met so maybe Sirius just hated anybody involved in anything romantic.  
At first I thought that Sirius was just having a bad day the first time that he was huffy over Drew. It wasn't until I found Sirius waiting in my parlor with a bad mood for me to get home from a date with Drew that I realized how much he really disliked him.

He was sitting in an armchair with stony eyes and a scowl. "Oh you're home," he greeted me gruffly as I cautiously crept into the house, careful not to wake Lev and Nina. It was almost three in the morning and he looked as if he'd been sitting unmoving in that chair for hours.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" I questioned, confused as to what would warrant him being at my house so late.

"Well hello to you too," he replied with a snarky tone. "I was expecting you home hours ago."

I slipped off my shoes, "I didn't realize that I had a curfew."

"Well how am I supposed to make plans with you if you're out all night with that Crawford bloke?"

"His name is Drew and it was James' idea in the first place for me to date other people," I pointed out. "Dating eats up a lot of time."

"First of all, he told you to go on _a _date, not to make Crawford into your new boyfriend. Secondly, dating does take time and if you haven't forgotten, we're supposed to be dating too," he reminded shortly. "How are we supposed to persuade everyone that we're in love if they never see us together?"  
I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, "Don't worry about it. It's not like people never see us together. It'll be fine."

"And should I be worrying about Crawford's reaction when he finds out about me? It's making things complicated enough already."

"Drew already knows and he's fine with it," I informed him, feeling almost a sense of pride about my choice in such a level-headed bloke. "I think you're making a bigger deal about it than it is."

He scoffed in offense, "Well sorry for caring. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be concerned that you're turning into a gelatinous pool over the first bloke to show interest."

That blow stung my pride. I clenched my jaw, taking a deep breath as I tried to maintain my temper, "You know, in my time apart from you I'd almost forgotten how much of a prat you are."

"Well at least I'm not such a naive idiot to start fawning over someone I barely know!" he retorted.

I could feel heat rising in my cheeks as I lost my control over my temper, "Well that's rich coming from the bloke that decided to set up some elaborate scheme to cover up the fact that he still isn't over his ex-girlfriend, even though she dumped him for another man!"

He jumped to his feet, beginning to shout in reply. I raised my voice, yelling in response to his accusations and insinuations. Soon the parlor was full of unintelligible screams and shouts as our voices grew louder and louder, having no consideration for the fact that it was so early in the morning.

"Merlin, what the hell is going on down there?" I heard Lev yell over Sirius and I's squabble. He stood at the top of the stairs in plaid pajamas with messy hair and sleepy eyes.

"Nothing, Sirius was just leaving. Go back to bed," I replied, my chest still heaving from yelling. I turned sharply on my heels after giving Sirius one last glare, marching angrily towards the stairs. I stomped upstairs, not bothering to acknowledge his presence before retreating into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me with more force than necessary.

I let out a muffled cry of anger and disgust before throwing myself onto my bed. I swung a few sloppy punches at my pillow, trying to vent some of my frustration. Why did Sirius have to be such a miserable git? Things were going so well recently and now he had to open his big mouth and ruin things. What a pain in my arse!

Why did Sirius have to be like this? We were getting on relatively well before he turned into some sort of super prat. It must have been his resentment towards anything pertaining to romance. He couldn't have anything against Drew. Who could possibly find a fault in Drew? If anything he was almost too likable. And Sirius didn't even know him anyways. It must have been just a general dislike for anything romantic in nature. What other reason could there be? It wasn't like Sirius was jealous or anything. Part of me wished he was though.

Dating one person while "dating" someone else had more issues than just scheduling conflicts, especially when confusing emotions are involved. Seeing Drew didn't exactly make my attraction towards Sirius go away. It just added a distraction that allowed me to temporarily forget. It was an unnerving feeling whenever I was with Drew and I remembered the fact that if Sirius showed up and showed the slightest bit of romantic interest then I would probably drop Drew so fast that it'd make my head spin.

Yes, I was almost ashamed to admit that the idea of who I'd choose between Drew and Sirius had come to mind a few times. The answer was always a hesitant "Sirius". It wasn't necessarily hesitant because I couldn't but rather because I was in denial about the obvious choice. Drew was comfortable. He was safe and I enjoyed his company. Sirius was... He brought out all kinds of emotions. Jealousy, anger, joy, hurt, crazy, and lust. Drew was perfectly fine. He said all the right things at the right time and he was exactly the kind of bloke that my mother would love for me to bring home. Despite that, though, I knew deep down that I could never want him the same way I wanted Sirius.

Part ofme felt guilty for feeling like this. I mean, if I was someone I was dating's second choice then I'd be hurt and angry. My pride would be wounded and I'd end that relationship without a second thought. I didn't want that for Drew and I. I mean, it wasn't like anything was going to happen between Sirius and I. That would always be a pipe dream. There was no reason Drew and I couldn't have a future.

I rolled over in bed with a sigh, feeling selfish for thinking about keeping Drew when I shouldn't have. I shut my eyes, hoping that I might be able to fall asleep and forget about this whole disaster for the rest of the night. Sleep seemed to continue to evade me, despite it being so late.

I tried to redirect my thoughts to the same place they always went before I fell asleep each night. I thought about the Marauders being secret Animagi, trying to piece together the elusive puzzle of why and how. My brain had already been through every possible situation and each one was as unlikely as the last. I couldn't figure out the reason behind it.

Their methodology was probably a potion, though I hadn't been able to find any sources to give me anymore information on the process of becoming an Animagus. The Marauders couldn't know that I knew so it was difficult finding time between them, Drew, and my odd shift at the ice cream shop to do secret research.

With no leads on their reasoning or methods, I tried to guess what animals they changed into. Obviously Peter was a rat. I had about a dozen or so guesses about each of them (Remus as an owl, anyone?). Theproblem was that there was no evidence pointing towards anything specific. In fact, I hadn't found any clues since the night I saw Peter transform back into human form after being a rat. The Marauders had their secret well-guarded and I had no idea how to satisfy my curiosity without tipping them off that I was curious.

I fell asleep shortly after I began running down my list of potential animals, trying to rule out possibilities. I woke up sometime the next morning to the sound of the door bell. I rolled over in bed, expecting Walby to answer it. It was too early for me to be conscious.

The doorbell rang a minute later, causing me to groan and pull my pillow over my head. Walby must have been getting slow in his old age. Usually he would have gotten the door by now. The doorbell rang again. Where was Walby when I needed him?

I rolled out of bed with a sense of zombie-like exhaustion. I padded down the hallway, listening to the door ring again as I took the stairs. "Yeah, yeah," I waved it off as I sluggishly made my way towards the door. It took me a few tries for me to gather the strength to open the door while I was in my exhausted state. "Hello?"  
I nearly fainted from shock when I saw Kara standing on my front step. She was the kind of girl to hide in the bushes and behind newspapers, not one to ring the front door bell. The way she smiled at me made me feel uneasy. "We need to talk."


	13. Untitled Kara Chapter

**A/N: Hello again, CharlotteBlackwood here! You don't see much of me in this story (I'm sure you're all grateful), but here's a quick update: My stories are all still in progress (I know, there's a bunch), but unless it says complete it is in progress. My novella, Those We Trust is available for purchase as an eBook basically everywhere eBooks are sold. It is also available in paperback on Amazon. That's about all for now! ON to Kara and her creeperness! Cheers!**

** -C**

I felt almost as surprised and sick as Maggie looked as she let me into the room.

Never before in the history of my... reconnaissance had I ever had to have interpersonal contact with someone in order to get what I wanted. I mean, I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I'd never really thought it through that far.

"Erm, do you want... tea or something?" she asked, looking me up and down as if trying to decide what to do with me.

I couldn't let her get the upper hand. Whatever was going to happen, however much I got out of this first meeting, I had to be in control. _Totally and completely in control_.

"Yes, please," I said, smiling as sweetly as I could. "With cream, honey, and lemon."

She raised her eyebrows at my request, as many often did when I ordered tea, but I didn't mind. Instead, I plopped myself down on the couch she had lead me to, waiting for her to come back with the tea as I looked around the room.

I had seen it before, from the window, of course, but from this new vantage point it appeared, closer, larger, cozier. It wasn't crowded with people this time, and it certainly had the taste of someone at least attempting to create a distinguished space. I wasn't exactly a leading expert on distinguished, but I had a feeling that it was not quite the most tasteful representation of that particular form of room.

Remus had been in this room, probably multiple times. I almost giggled with elation, but I had to stay focused, not set off Maggie, if she could hear me. I had to remind myself to be careful, because a wrong move could ruin everything. Nobody knew as well as I did how absolutely clever the Marauders were, when they had the proper tools to work with.

I wasn't about to hand them those tools on a silver platter.

I didn't have to wait too long for Maggie to return with the tea, set it down in front of me, and watch me like she wasn't sure if she was actually seeing me, or seeing some sort of ghost. I was so tempted to say 'boo', but it seemed in poor taste. After all, I still hadn't been able to confirm that she hadn't been attacked by a vampire, and I wanted to be sensitive of whatever trauma she might be left with from that particular experience.

Sensitivity could only count in my favor if I turned out to be right.

I wasn't sure how much I could get out of Maggie and the Marauders, and only more research could tell. If it was just about her brother and Sirius's desperation to get his girlfriend back, I might get a date or two out of Remus. If it had to do with Sirius being a vampire on top of it all, I could probably get Remus to be mine for life.

That was why I was waiting on my demands until I had more time to sift through my confusing, inconclusive research on vampires.

"So, what brings you here?" Maggie said, slowly. "We've never really talked, and I certainly don't recall ever telling you where I lived or that you could drop by..."

"Oh, I had a few things to discuss with you," I said sweetly, grinning at her. "I thought you might want to do this in the privacy of your own home instead of at work. Very sensitive, private stuff, you understand."

Maggie raised her eyebrows at me.

"Look, Kara," she said sharply, "whatever personal stuff you've got going on, I'm sure there are people who care at lot more than I do."

I did giggle slightly at that. The time was right for a good giggle, anyway.

"Oh, no," I said earnestly. "It's not about me at all. It's about me knowing about you."

She nearly dropped the teacup she'd been lifting to her lips when I'd said that. There were possibly many things I could know about her, but I had a distinct feeling that she knew exactly what I was talking about. After all, what else could she be keeping secret that would make her so nervous?

Unless, perhaps, it was the being turned vampire by Sirius, but I was partially referring to that, as well.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she said, regaining her cool, at least outwardly. Oh, Maggie was proving a tough cookie to crack, but if I'd made a dent before I could certainly make another. "You're being more than a bit vague."

"Intentionally," I said. "Is there anyone else here? Wouldn't want unfortunately curious ears to-"

"There's no one else here," she snapped. "Now get on with whatever you're going to say, or leave me alone."

With a smile, I put down my teacup, which was a bit warm for my tastes.

"I'll try to be as plain but delicate as possible," I replied gently. "Let's just say that I have acquired, through methods that will remain nameless, the information that you and Sirius Black are not in what one might call and honest relationship."

She raised her eyebrows at me and I could almost see the gears turning behind her eyes as she determined what to do with me, what to say to me.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she said stiffly. "If you're trying to imply that Sirius or I is being unfaithful-"

"Oh, no, nothing like that," I said, although I saw something that could be a sort of disingenuous look in her eyes when she started down that path. I would have to keep my eyes peeled if there was that sort of evidence floating around. So much research, so little time! "It just so happens that I know that your dating is, shall we say, a giant fabrication?"

She narrowed her eyes.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," I replied primly, "that you and Sirius Black are not actually dating, but are pretending to for your own reasons."

She swallowed visibly and I almost congratulated myself for thoroughly ruffling her feathers when she leaned forward, wand out, and I had to lean back a bit. Surely she wasn't going to wipe my memory? Could she even do that yet? We hadn't learned it yet, but Maggie was no slouch at Charms if I recalled correctly.

But she did nothing, which was a relief. It gave me time to recollect my own calm exterior, reorganize my priorities, decide what she might actually be ready to do with that wand she had pointing between my eyes, and move on from there.

"Are you done threatening me? You do realize it's against the law to practice Underage Magic, don't you?" I said dryly, hoping I had a bit of the Black-confidence that I was often so jealous of. Sirius Black was capable of being cool, collected, and utterly self-confident in nearly every situation, something that I was fairly certain everyone who had met him envied him.

"Maybe," Maggie replied honestly, guardedly, not entirely sure herself if she was ready to use her wand on me without knowing more about what I knew, how I knew, and what I wanted for my silence. Her hand twitched once before she lowered her wand. "Get on with your story, then, and make it quick before I change my mind."

"Oh, there's not much to tell," I lied. "I just know that you and Sirius have a mutually beneficial arrangement that I'm fairly certain you want no one, especially Sam and Warner, to know about."

"How do you know what you're claiming to know?" she spat demandingly.

"I merely observe-"

"Stalk, you mean?"

I tensed.

I was really, really starting to hate that word, but there was no way around it. My devotion just simply couldn't be understood by people who didn't feel passion as intensely as I, which was most people.

"Call it what you will," I said a bit stiffly, and was almost disappointed with how easily she'd ruffled me. I would have to not make myself so obviously upset by that particular word in the future, or they would use it against me mercilessly. I needed the upper hand, and that meant no weaknesses.

"What makes me believe that you have such knowledge?" she said sternly. "Why should I believe you at all?"

I smiled at her, hopefully in a predatory way.

"Because you know I'm right and there's no way I could guess such a preposterous thing if I didn't actually know."

She conceded my absolutely true statement with a small grunt and with rubbing her wand so firmly that sparks came out of the end.

Oh, this was almost too easy.

"You understand I can't bargain on behalf of the Marauders," she said slowly.

Ah, so we were getting to the point quickly now. I should have guessed.

"Naturally," I conceded. "I would have never asked you to."

"I'll take your terms to them," she continued in her deliberate way. "But I can't make any promises or even estimates on what they'll give you. You know how unpredictable those boys can be."

I wanted to laugh at her. The Marauders were perfectly simple to predict, when one put in the time and energy to really understand them. I had a feeling Maggie cared very little about understanding them, especially James Potter, and that would be her downfall, especially if her downfall would spell a clear way to Remus for me.

But I wasn't about to say that out loud.

_Focus, Kara, focus_.

"So, what are you asking?" she asked, resigned.

I giggled a little again.

Always use an appropriately timed giggle. It drives your opponent mad.

"Oh, Maggie, I'm not asking anything at the moment," I said honestly. "I'm going to need more time to consider what my information is worth. And since I'm not sure I want you five to get together and try to outsmart me, to keep things fair, I'm not going to tell you anything more specific about what I know than I've already told. I've got a few ideas of what I might like in return for silence, you see, but I need a bit of time to think it over."

I could tell she wanted to claw my eyes out, or whatever such action would be a characteristic one for a girl such as Maggie, but she just gripped her wand a little tighter, oblivious to the sparks she was creating. Her floor seemed unaffected, so I didn't point it out.

"Very well," she said coldly. "So what exactly was the point of you coming here?"

"Oh, I may not want you to know what I know," I said with a smile, "but I felt it was only sporting to let you know that I know, so you can at least start considering what your responses to my knowledge when I decide to use it, might be."

If she could have dug her nails into her wand, she undoubtedly would have done. I just continued to smile at her.

"Anything else?" she snapped after a long moment of me finishing off my tea with a smile.

"Oh, no," I said putting the cup down once more, this time empty. "I suppose I'll be on my way. You'll be hearing from me later, although I can't give you a very firm estimate of when, I'm afraid."

"Just get out," she snapped, and I just smiled as I showed myself out.

Phase one complete and victorious.

Now for planning phase two...


	14. Avocado

Today was like avocado ice cream. It was stomach churning and unwanted.

Sirius and I still hadn't mended our relationship after his little late night visit to my house. Our... tense relationship had deterred me from telling the Marauders everything about Kara's little visit. I should have told them. It was unfair of me not to tell them, especially since they were going to be completely blindsided when she named her terms. I already knew James was going to blame me for it. He didn't like me and he would claim it was all my fault for some reason or another. Maybe he'd claim I didn't try hard enough to persuade her that she had the story wrong. Maybe he'd go right out and claim that I went to Kara myself. Either way, he was going to blame me and I couldn't be arsed to sign up for those accusations.

As stiff as my relationship with the Marauders was, my relationship with Drew was only getting better. Sure, I wasn't exactly overwhelmed by feelings of passion and desire but he wasn't a horrible kisser and we had fun together. What more could a girl ask for? You know, other than deep-rooted attraction, infatuation, intensity, or yearning. Maybe those feelings would come with time. Until then, I was going to have to make do with finding him fit and enjoying his company.

I really didn't understand why I didn't feel more strongly for him. I mean, he wasn't a bad boyfriend. He was attractive and funny. He had a great smile and he generally cared about what I had to say. Why couldn't I be more than just content with that?

I knew part of the reason and its name was Sirius Black. Even though I was still brassed off with him, I still felt an almost feverish attraction for him. He was a wanker but he could still bring out more passion from me with one word than Drew did with our entire relationship. It wasn't fair. It was like part of my brain was just reserved for Sirius, despite how much I wish that wasn't the case.

I tried not to make my feelings for him obvious, especially when it came to Drew. I didn't want Drew to know that there was a part of me that was reserved for another man. It wasn't fair to him but it felt nauseatingly like my brain was regarding him like a bench warmer as it waited for Sirius.

I knew it wasn't fair. I generally did care about Drew. He was sweet and respectful. He showed up exactly when he said he would and he opened doors for me. He was charming and endearing but, at the end of the day, he just wasn't Sirius. He didn't put me through a rollercoaster of emotion or make me act crazy. He couldn't brighten my day with a smile the way that Sirius could. In short, he couldn't make me feel as much as Sirius could.

The more I thought about my brain's constant comparing between the two of them, the more guilty it'd make me feel. I just wished that my brain would forget about Sirius and be satisfied. I could have a good life with Drew if my brain would just stop.

My brain would never stop, though. It was even thinking about Sirius when Drew came into the ice cream shop with a mysterious basket in hand. I banished the thoughts of Sirius, plastering on a smile. "Drew, love, you're early," I greeted him with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

He returned my smile, visibly oblivious to my forced excitement. "I figured closing a few minutes early wouldn't hurt anything and, frankly, I missed you," he informed me. He set his mystery basket on my freshly wiped counter, "I thought you and I could have a picnic in the back room tonight."

I leaned over the counter to give him a chaste kiss for his thoughtfulness. See, brain, I thought triumphantly, Sirius never would have done something as thoughtful as that.

The pro-Sirius part of brain merely scoffed and didn't bother to argue. It was if it didn't consider that argument even worth having. It was a weak argument, however. Sirius had apparently been the epitome of great boyfriends to Sammy (an idea that baffles me since she left him for another man), and I had no proof that he would be less of a thoughtful boyfriend than Drew.

I needed to do something fast before the alarmingly pro-Sirius part of my brain made my relationship with Drew impossible. How long was I going to be able to be in a relationship with one bloke when most of my brain was obsessed with another bloke?

I smiled through my inner turmoil, however, and let Drew set up the back room as I closed down the shop. I smiled through wiping the tables and I smiled through washing off the ice cream scoopers. I was even still smiling as I put the cones back in airtight containers. In fact, I'd been smiling so much that my cheeks felt sore.

"I'm ready for you, love," Drew called to me from the back room.

I clenched and unclenched my jaw, attempting to find a more natural, less painful smile as I strolled back to Drew. He was sitting on a plush quilt on the floor, surrounded by dishes of food, some of which I'd mentioned in passing about how I liked them. He looked so pleased with himself and hopeful that I liked it.

I wanted to exclaim about how it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me or ask him what I'd ever done to deserve him. I wanted to genuinely express my excitement and gratitude the way that he deserved. I just couldn't. My brain wouldn't allow it. It was too busy considering what Sirius would have done if this had been his surprise instead.

I settled for a generic "you're amazing" and settled in next to him, praying that the rest of the night went better. If only I could shut up the pro-Sirius side of my brain. Life would be so much easier if it would stop complicating things.

Luckily he began speaking before I had to awkwardly come up with a topic starter. "So, do you remember when you asked about my hobbies and I couldn't remember anything? I remembered something?"

"Oh?" I questioned, thankful that he didn't need much verbal stimulation from me to keep the conversation going.

He produced a copy of the Daily Prophet from the picnic basket. I waited patiently for him to explain but the explanation didn't come. "So... do you enjoy making paper hats?" I inquired jokingly.

He gave me a genuine smile, which was a bit charitable considering that my attempt at a joke was pretty flat. "I enjoy the crossword puzzles," he explained.

My mouth made a small "O" shape in realization, "That would make more sense. A little geriatric for my taste but I suppose it's better than paper hats."

He gave me a playful scowl, "It's not geriatric, it's challenging."

I rolled my eyes, taking the newspaper from him, "We'll see about that. They can't be that hard." I folded the paper, searching for the crossword. I noticed an article circled several times in black ink, which caught my eye. I paused momentarily to read the headline. "Is obsessing over morbid articles also a hobby of yours?"

He took the newspaper from my hands, looking at the circled article. He sighed, "Birch."

Of course. I had almost forgotten about his deranged brother. The bloke who liked corn ice cream. He was definitely off his rocker. "Why would he read this?" I already knew the answer but he didn't know that I knew Birch was a nutcase. "'Punisher Gram deaths reach the hundred mark'. Why would someone circle something so awful?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Birch is... He's a little interested in 'morbid' things, as you call them. Punisher grams are his newest obsession. He reads everything he can find on them. Kids were kind of mean to him at school. I think he just likes to fantasize about using these things against all the people who wronged him."

Part of me wanted to run out of the building, not wanting to be anywhere near anyone who was even related to someone this close to becoming a serial killer. "Doesn't that scare you?" I questioned softly.

He cleared his throat and loyally shook his head, "Of course not. It's all just pure fantasy. He'd never actually act on it."

I fell silent, not sure of what I could say that wouldn't be a total lie or point out the fact that I thought Birch was psychotic. What could I say to him that didn't sound like I was accusing him of turning a blind eye to the fact his brother was deranged.

We both sat in awkward silence. My pro-Sirius brain section used this as an example of why I belonged with Sirius instead of him. Of course, the pro-Sirius part of my brain would use any and all situations as an example of why I belonged with Sirius rather than anyone else.

"Well..." Drew began slowly, obviously finding it difficult to form the words. "Well, I guess since things are nice and awkward now, it's the right time to talk about why I asked to see you tonight."

The pro-Sirius part of my brain only allowed my interest to be slightly peaked. "Oh?"

He nodded, looking down at his hands, "I guess since I'm pretty sure you're getting ready to head for the hills after hearing about my brother, I might as well be honest with you."

With a nutcase for a brother, I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear his honesty. "And what do you have to be honest about?"

He cleared his throat, still focusing his gaze on his hands, "I tried to be... supportive. I understand what it's like to have a brother who gets terrorized at school. I understand wanting to do whatever you can to make their life easier but... Maggie, I can't do this anymore."

I watched him with curiosity. This was the closest thing to a confrontation that he and I had. It was in his nature not to be confrontational. He was honey comb ice cream after all. He would have been a Hufflepuff, hands down. Confronting someone about what he wanted wasn't something he normally would do, which meant that he must have felt strongly about it.

"I don't like sharing you with that Black fellow. I know that it's all a charade and you're doing it for Lev but you... You're never quite here, you know? I mean, you're just so distant and I know that you've got a lot going on. I'm trying to be understanding but..." He exhaled deeply as if to gather his courage, "I won't do this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. When I kiss you, I might as well be kissing him. When I talk to you, you're completely tune out. It's like there's something all over you that's keeping you from me and it has to be him."

I blinked several times, "What are you trying to say?"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Apparently it was easier to be assertive when he didn't see my expression. "I hate to do this but you have to choose. Either you have to stop this thing with Black or I can't see you anymore."

The pro-Sirius part of my brain audibly laughed. Seriously? He thought that he had a prayer with that ultimatum? He must've had no idea how deep Sirius' roots were lodged into me. He must have been completely oblivious to the depth of the problem.

"Drew, I - I can't," I admitted honestly. It was true. There was no way that I could give up that relationship with Sirius, whether it was real or a charade. I quickly began to lie, feeling guilty for the obviousness of my answer, "I have to do what I can for Lev. I'm sorry."

He nodded, wordlessly getting to my feet. He left the room without collecting his things, either too distraught or embarrassed to stop. I heard the shop door bell jingle as he left but I didn't try to go after him. I stayed on my spot on the quilt, having watched him go. I vaguely recognized the fact that I'd likely just broken up with a bloke who I could have easily had a long and meaningful relationship with if I had only given up Sirius.

After a breakup, it was normal for people to feel loss or pain or rage or anything. My heart was breaking like it should have because I wasn't feeling anything at all.

**A/N:**

**Not my favorite chapter but I can't seem to get it any closer to how I want it. This chapter was loosely inspired by** **"How I Loved You" by Taylor Swift. I blame my little sister for that. When I was home from college last month, she wouldn't stop playing Taylor Swift and now this is the result. Anyway, I'll make this quick. I've already started the next chapter and beware that things are about to get a little dark. Hopefully it'll be by the end of the week but no promises.**

**Until next time,**

**Evan**


	15. Sea Salt and Cinnamon

Today was feeling like a mixture of sea salt and cinnamon ice cream; it was hot and salty, kind of like tears.

Shame. That was the best way to explain how I felt. The word didn't quite cover the range of the emotion I was feeling but it came close. To be more specific, I was feeling attributes of shame, rage, fear, helplessness, and confusion.

I was sitting on the floor of my room, my body contorted into a small, fetal-like ball as I waited. The house was silent. I had already sent Walby away with Nina and Lev. I couldn't bear the idea of my little siblings see their big sister like this. I didn't want them to see me this broken.

My brain felt incapable to react. A reaction would require me to absorb what had happened to me, and that was something I couldn't do. So I waited. I waited for my brain to work. I waited for it to come up with any plan other than sitting in the fetal position on my bedroom floor. I waited but nothing ever came.

I kept waiting for my brain to tell my body what to do. Eventually it had to come out of its shock and do something, right? Anything would be fine. I just wanted it to react to something.

My brain remained quiet until I heard the front door. A small spark of panic upset the general inactivity of my brain. I clenched my eyes shut, praying that they would go away. Maybe if I stayed silent, they wouldn't check my room.

It was a big house. There were plenty of other rooms to check. There was the parlor, the kitchen, several bathrooms, cupboards, the dining room, the master bedroom, the study, and even Lev or Nina's rooms. If they checked any or all of those rooms and not mine then I'd be safe.

I heard someone on the stairs. Their footsteps were loud, as if they were bounding up and taking several steps at a time. It sounded like... My eyes widened at the thought. No, it couldn't be the Marauders. That was even worse than the idea of it being Lev or Nina. At least they weren't so pushy about getting information they wanted.

I jumped to my feet. Well, I attempted to jump to my feet. My body was sore and uncooperative so it'd be more accurate to say that I got to my feet at a sluggish pace. Progress was progress even if it was slow.

I flipped on the lights, squinting as my eyes adjusted to the brightness. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe I should have just stayed on the floor and hoped that it swallowed me up.

"Nolan!" James greeted me with a singsong voice as he bursted into my room. He never could seem to remember how to knock. "Oh Nolan! We -" He stopped mid-sentence as he saw me, looking at me in hoor. "What the hell happened to your face?"

I rolled my eyes as nonchalantly as I could. "None of your business," I replied as coolly as I could, hoping my voice sounded stronger than it felt. "What do you want?"

"What happened?" he questioned, his attention not so easily swayed. Honestly, that boy's attention was only good when I didn't want it to be. "You look you got attacked by a herd of hippogriffs."

I rolled my eyes again. "What do you want?" I repeated.

"Did someone hit you?" His expression suddenly darkened at the idea. "Did someone do this to you?"

I didn't necessarily want to lie. I didn't have a good alternate story as to what happened. "Technically, yes, I suppose," I admitted. "It's really not your problem, though. Don't worry about it."

"Who?" he demanded, his eyes scanning every bruise as if searching for clues. "Who did this to you?"

I blinked several times. Was this concern? Was this actual worry I was seeing in his face? "It's really not a big deal," I told him, committed to my lie. "Don't worry about it."

"This damn well is my bloody concern if someone thinks they can beat on you," he informed me indignantly. "Now, who did this to you?"

I didn't reply,unsure of what to say. I was thrown off-guard by his sincere protectiveness, which was making lying harder. I'd hoped that he would just brush it off and go on prattling about his newest scheme to get Lily interested in him.

He grew impatient of my lack of answering. He walked back to the open bedroom door in long strides. "Moony, Padfoot, get in here now!" he barked down the hall, causing me to wince at his tone.

Remus and Sirius came striding in, looking relatively unimpressed. "Prongs, what was -" Sirius began to complain but stopped short. "Maggie, what happened?"

"She won't tell me," James interjected before I could reply. "All she'll say is someone did this to her and it's none of my concern." His voice sounded as if he found the subject unamusing and laughable at the same time.

"Maggie, is that true?" Sirius inquired, sidestepping around James. He peered at me with his enveloping eyes, which made lying to him almost impossible.

I jerked my head away, tearing my eyes away from him, "What are you even doing here?" It was a feeble attempt to redirect the conversation but I was desperate.

"We went to look for you at the shop and your uncle said you just never showed up this morning or returned his owl. He was worried about you so we told him we'd go find out if you were okay. You obviously aren't," he informed me, surveying the damage. It felt like he was trying to commit every bruise to memory.

"I'm fine," I replied shortly. "Thank you for your concern but I'm fine. You can go now."

James and Sirius both refused at the same time, stating something along the lines of "no way in hell". Getting rid of them was not going to be that easy.

"You're not fine," Sirius expanded upon his short refusal. "We're not going anywhere until we know you're safe and we can't know that until we know what happened."

"Fine, someone sent me a Punisher Gram. I didn't die and there's no permanent damage. Now please leave me alone," I admitted, leaving out as many details as I could. My brain couldn't keep straight of all the reasons I didn't want them to know but I knew that I was trying to keep it from them for a reason.

This sliver of information made matters worse. Sirius and James began muttering at what seemed a thousand kilometers a minute. It was like I might as well have told them that the Dark Lord himself came to my doorstep and punched me in the face.

"Guys," Remus spoke up in a quiet, contemplative tone. "Maybe we should take her to St. Mungo's."

I snorted at the idea. Sure, I looked awful and I didn't exactly feel like sunshine and kittens but a trip to the hospital sounded a little like overkill. "If you keep taking me to the hospital then the Healers are going to start think you're abusing me," I commented.

"She said there was no permanent damage," James pointed out. "Maybe we could try Healing her ourselves?"

Sirius nodded slowly, "Okay." He ducked his head down to be eye level with me, ensuring that I was making eye contact, "Maggie, where's the first aid kit?"

I was too busy counting the shades of grey in his eyes to answer right away. I got to seven before I snapped out of it, literally having to shake my head to get rid of my distracting thoughts. I tore my eyes away from him, despite the pro-Sirius part of my brain's sobbing in protest.

I tried my hardest to contain my limp as I trudged across the room, wincing with almost every step. Stubbornly, I entered the bathroom. My legs continued to protest and wobble as I took the metal first aid kit from underneath the sink. My body seemed to refuse to straighten after bending down to retrieve the kit. I could feel a pair of hands brace against me, helping me upright.

"It's just you and me now," I could a low rumble in Sirius' voice. "The others are going to wait downstairs for us."

My brain began to screech in panic. No, no, no! This was not good! Holding out against the Marauders as a collective entity was hard. Holding out against Sirius when he and I were alone and he was touching me was going to be absolutely impossible. There was just no way this could work.

"Trying to see if you can't interrogate me better one-on-one?" I humorlessly teased in a weak attempt to fight off the inevitable.

"No, I'm trying to make you more comfortable," he replied matter-of-factly. Of course, he would say the absolute right thing to make it even harder to refuse him. "I figured it might be easier for you if it were just you and me."

I let out a noncommittal noise in reply, not sure of what words to form. I needed to focus on something, anything else to remind myself why I couldn't just answer all his questions and burrow myself into his chest like I wanted.

I tried to remember why I couldn't tell him but the reasons seemed to cluster and tangle together. _Focus, _I commanded, demanding my brain's obedience. I shut my eyes to keep myself from being distracted by Sirius.

I tried to untangle the excuses. The first reason was obvious. I didn't want the Marauders (Sirius specifically) to get into trouble exacting his revenge. After that, it got a little trickier to separate one excuse from another.

Sirius practically lifted me onto the counter, distracting me momentarily from my attempts at distracting myself from him. Feeling him that close, smelling him, hearing him breathe... It all demanded my attention, something that was incredibly dangerous.

I clenched my eyes shut, willing myself to ignore him. The second reason... The second reason was that I didn't want Sirius to know how he played a role in this. I didn't want him to feel guilty. The third and last reason was considerably the most influential. I was afraid.

I could feel Sirius dab the cool Bruise-Removal Cream around my swollen eye, causing me to wince. "Sorry," he muttered apologetically.

Fear. That really was the main reason for this, wasn't it? An almost overwhelming terror. There was so much fear that, when I thought about, I felt like curling up in the fetal position under my bed. I was afraid that if I admitted that I wasn't okay then they'd see just how okay I was. I'd seen Sirius and James get their arses handed to them in fights (though they generally dished out as much, if not more, than they were served) and I'd never seen them cry over a few bruises. If they knew how close I was to absolutely breaking down... They'd be absolutely ashamed of me. That was something I never thought I'd be terrified of but there it was.

Even more than the fear of disappointing them, I was afraid if they knew what happened then they'd write it off as nothing. It was a completely illogical, irrational fear because I knew better but it didn't matter. I was terrified anyways. I couldn't stand the idea of them belittling something that had me feeling like I was going to start coming undone.

"Maggie," Sirius sighed, causing me to tense at the sound of his voice. "You're one giant bruise, love. Who did this to you?"

I only shook my head, not trusting my voice when he was so close. It was harder to lie to him alone than the collective Marauders.

"Why won't you tell me? Are you afraid?"

I nodded so gently I almost couldn't even feel my head move.

"Are you afraid of me?" He actually sounded pained at the idea as he dabbed the cream along my bruised wrist.

I shrugged. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, especially when I didn't trust myself to speak. I picked a tile on the floor and stared at it as if my life depended on it. I could feel his eyes on me and I was trying my hardest not to return his gaze.

"Maggie, I would never do anything to hurt you," he assured me earnestly. "You can tell me anything. Don't you trust me?"

No, I couldn't tell him anything. For example, I couldn't tell him that I fancied the hell out of him. I couldn't tell him that I thought about him all the time and how when I'd been given the choice between pining over him and sustaining an actual relationship with someone attainable, I'd chosen him automatically. I couldn't tell him everything.

"Of course, I trust you," my voice responded before I could stop myself. I mentally cursed myself for breaking my self-imposed silence.

This seemed to empower him. "Then why won't you tell me what's going on? Are you in trouble?"

I shook my head, trying to creep back into silence.

He didn't seem to want to let me go back to muteness, "Mags, use your words. Tell me what's going on."

I sighed. Silence wasn't going to work forever but I'd hoped it would last a little longer than this. "Promise you won't get mad?" I inquired curiously.

"I promise I won't get mad at you," he assured me.

"It's not me I'm worried about," I muttered, wincing slightly as he rubbed the Bruise-Removal Cream along my forearm. I sighed again, "Okay. I guess I'll tell you if you're going to stay calm. I got a Punisher Gram in the mail this morning."

His grip on the bottle of cream tightened, squirting the cream onto the floor and the front of my shirt. "Who?" he demanded, not bothering to react to the .

"I don't know exactly," I admitted cautiously, choosing each word with care.

"But you have an idea?"

I nodded, "You remembered to not get angry, remember? If I tell you what happened and who I think did this then you have to stay cool, okay?"

He nodded back at me, his jaw clenched. His grey eyes were already resembling lightning and he was shaking slightly. "I promise."

I exhaled deeply, searching for how to begin. "Do you remember Drew?"

His eyes flashed, "Crawford did this to you?! I'll rip his throat out!"

I scowled at him, "No. Do you want to hear what I have to say or would you like to keep flying off the handle."  
He waved me on, his eyes still violent and his jaw still clenched.

"It was his brother," I admitted. "Well, I think it was. He didn't exactly send a note."

"What? Why?" The rage in his eyes was momentarily replaced with confusion.

I admitted to everything. Well, almost everything. I told him about the picnic with Drew and the Daily Prophet and how Birch was obsessed with Punisher Grams. I even told him about how I knew that Birch was crazy from his ice cream flavor. This got a raised eyebrow from him but he didn't question it. The only thing I failed to mention was why I chose him over Drew. I didn't even bother to claim it was because of Lev, like I'd told Drew. I wasn't sure I could make that lie believable so I simply omitted that entire part of the conversation.

Sirius was true to his word about staying calm. Well, he was outwardly calm, despite his stormy eyes or enraged expression. He just listened to everything I had to say, nodding and asking a few questions to clarify what I was saying.

"I got a Howler before the Punisher Gram came," I told him. "It was a man's voice. I'm not entirely sure but I'm pretty sure it was Birch. I'm not positive but the things he said... It had to have been someone who'd heard the story from Drew's point of view."

"Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me when I got here? Why would you try to keep this from me?" He sounded more than a little hurt. Apparently he was more sensitive than I imagined. "Didn't you trust me to keep you safe?"

"Sirius, I don't need you to keep me safe."

"Really? Because your face says a different story."

I scowled at him, "That's not fair. You don't get to use this against me. You weren't there, you don't know what happened. You don't know if being here would have helped at all."

"Then tell me what happened! I don't know if you know this but your communication skills are shite."

"Yeah and you're an arse." It was funny how he could make me feel more in thirty seconds than Drew could in our entire relationship.

"So I've been told. Just tell me what's going on so I can understand then," he instructed.

"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered uncomfortably.

"Alright fine. Do you know where this Birch bloke is?"

I shook my head. I knew Birch still lived at home after graduating but I didn't know where the Crawfords lived. Drew had never gotten around to taking me home to meet his parents.

"Maggie, I need you to promise to tell me if he tries to contact you, okay? I need you to come to me if he's following you around or coming by the shop. Do you promise?"

I rolled my eyes, "Sirius, I appreciate the concern but the chivalry is starting to come off as a little chauvinistic."

"This isn't chivalry. This isn't about you being a girl. This is about you being too important for that wanker to think he can do this to you," he informed me simply. "Now are you going to promise or am I going to have to follow you around all the time to keep you safe?"

Having him follow me around was sounding like a good idea. I mean, at least that way he was always around. Reluctantly, I nodded, "I promise."

He ruffled my hair affectionately, "I just want to keep you safe. I can't have that wanker think that he can get away with this. No one's allowed to hurt my Maggie."

My stomach fluttered slightly but I tried to keep from floating away at the sound of him calling me his. "So are we good?"

"Just one last question and then we're good," he replied. "Why did you try to keep this from me?"

I sighed. What a loaded question. "A few reasons, I guess," I admitted. "I was afraid of what you'd do if you found out."

"You think I'm THAT out of control?" There was that hurt in his voice again. Merlin, he was sensitive today.

"Do you remember when James accidentally gave me that head injury? Do you remember how you acted towards him? He's your best mate. How do you think I thought you'd respond if it was some bloke you didn't know who did this on purpose?"

He muttered defeatedly under his breath. "I guess," he conceded. "That doesn't mean I like that you were afraid to tell me something."

I smiled at him. I liked this side of Sirius. I just wished I'd see it more often. "I promise not to keep something like that from you out of fear of you doing something reckless again. Are we good yet?"

"No. You said there were multiple reasons. I want to hear the other ones," he shook his head.

I shrugged, "It's going to sound stupid."

"I don't care. Tell me anyways."

"I - I didn't want you and the others to feel guilty," I admitted, regretting the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. If he wasn't feeling guilty before, he would now that I brought it up. "You have a tendency to beat yourself up and I didn't want you to feel like this was your fault because -"

"Because this happened because of our arrangement," he finished for me. The rage that'd been in his eyes was replaced with guilt. "This happened because of me."

"No!" I quickly interjected. "This wasn't because of you! This is why I didn't want to tell you. It was my stupid mistake to date his brother I'm the first place and - You know what? No. This is Birch's fault. He's a crazy git. He's the one who did this."

"And the other reasons?"

I could almost feel myself flush, "Because I was ashamed. I was terrified that if I started talking about it how bad I was actually taking it. I didn't want people to know that it affected me worse than it should have."

"Since when am I 'people'?" He inquired. "Since when do you have to worry about what I think?"

I shrugged in reply, not even beginning to know how to start answering that question.

"Hey, I thought we were going to use our voices," he chided, sounding like a father speaking to a misbehaving child.

I scowled at him, "And I thought you said you only had one more question."

He held up his hands defensively, "Alright, I get it. We'll continue this conversation another time. Let's just go downstairs and tell the others what's going on."

"You go ahead. I think I'm going to change my shirt first," I told him, referencing to the Bruise-Removal Cream that he'd accidentally assaulted me with during his first bout of anger.

He blushed uncharacteristically, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that."

I waved off his apology, "It's okay. It's not the worst thing someone's done to me today."

He nodded in agreement but still didn't move to rejoin the others. He just stood there with a pensive look on his face.

I raised an eyebrow at him but rolled my eyes. I slid off the counter, wandering off to my bedroom to find a clean shirt. Sometimes that bloke was just too odd for his own good.

I heard him stir in the bathroom as I searched my dresser for something suitable to wear. I figured that he had left for downstairs so when I turned around to see him standing in the doorway, I jumped in surprise. "Damnit, Black," I swore at him as my heart raced against my ribcage. "Today is really not the best to be sneaking up on me."

"Sorry," he apologized with a sheepish smile.

"I thought you were going downstairs," I reminded him.

"I - I can't."

I raised another eyebrow at him, feeling slightly amused, "You can't? Have you suddenly gotten a new phobia of stairs or have you just forgotten to use them?"

He scowled good-naturedly in reply, "I can't because I can't leave you upstairs by yourself. What happens if that Birch bastard sends another one of those Grams while you're up here alone?"

"I thought if I promised to tell you if he contacted me that you weren't going to follow me around," I pointed out.

"Just humor me, please."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. Turn around so I can change."

He turned around obligingly, facing the wall.

My cheeks burned as I collected my clean shirt from the drawer. Just the idea of being shirtless when he was in the room made my brain overwhelmed. It was nerve-wracking and exciting and terrifying. It made me wonder if there were any reflective surfaces he could be using to watch me, which confused me as to whether that idea bothered me or not. Then that brought on the question of whether he'd be looking just because he was a teenage bloke or if it was because he was actually interested in me.

I shook off this thoughts, shedding my soiled shirt and replacing in record time. How had I let my life get this dramatic? I didn't remember things being nearly this theatrical before the Marauders became such a large part of my life. At least couldn't get any worse. Though, of course, that was a jinx in and of itself.


End file.
